Erogenous Zones

Erogenous Zones are sensitive areas of the body that may produce a sexual response when stimulated. Though the obvious erogenous zones include the breasts, nipples, anus, perineum, testicles, penis (really?) and the vulva, the whole body has the potential to be one big super-awesome erogenous zone. Here are a few other erogenous areas that may spark your interest:

1. The inner bend of the elbow where the forearm meets the upper arm. Play with this crease gently and see how your partner responds.

2. The Philthrum – this is the little indentation between the upper lip and the nose. Try playing with your partner’s philthrum with your lips, tongue and breath while kissing. Or you can get creative and stimulate the philthrum during oral sex play.

3. The Collarbone – in my Erogenous Exploration workshops, this is the body part to which women seem to respond most favourably and with the greatest surprise.

Erection

An Erection is part of a physiological...

Dildos

Dildos are sex toys designed for vaginal or anal penetration and they can take on a variety of shapes and textures. Though dildos don’t move on their own (unlike vibrators), their curves, shapes, sizes and materials make for great sexual props for fun do-it-yourself sex play.

Double Penetration

Double Penetration (DP) often refers to the simultaneous penetration of both the vagina and anus by two different objects. While pornography often portrays DP involving one woman and two men, many people partake in DP using one penis and one toy like an anal plug, vibrator or strap-on.

DATY

DATY stands for Dining At The Y and is another term for cunnilingus or going down on a woman. Click here for some pointers.

Daisy Chains

A Daisy Chain is a group sex activity in which all members both give and receive oral sex simultaneously. Named after a string of daisy flowers linked together into a wreath, the sexier version of the daisy chain requires at least...

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C is for Cupping:

Cupping is a form of sex play in which suction cups are placed on the skin to draw blood to the surface. Cups come in varying sizes (to suit different body parts) and some use a suction cup or vacuum to create suction, while others use heat. Specialty kits designed for the explicit purpose of cupping can be purchased from sex stores and practitioners need to exercise caution when playing with suction and fire. I advise clients to take a workshop to learn about safety measures associated with cupping and discuss safety measures with their local sex-positive retailer.

C is also for the CAT position.

Designed for penile-vaginal intercourse, the CAT offers clitoral stimulation against the male’s pelvic bone. The CAT is a basic modification of the missionary position that involves the man riding up on a woman’s pelvis so they can rock and rub the clitoris against the base of his penis and/or pelvic bone. This is how the CAT breaks down:

1. The woman...

Would you like a little spanking?

BDSM describes sexual play that involves some exchange of power or pain. B stands for bondage, D stands for dominance and/or discipline, S stands for sadism (pleasure associated with inflicting pain) and/or submission and M stands for masochism (pleasure associated with receiving pain). Sometimes the terms are grouped together in pairs with BD referring to bondage and discipline, DS standing for dominance and submission, and SM referring to sado-masochism.

While BDSM encompasses a wide range of sexual activities, practitioners tend to play complementary roles that involve some degree of power differentials. However, activities are underscored by the consent of all parties involved and BDSM can be a part of healthy, normal and safer sex play.

Playing out sexual fantasies can be a great way to explore new role-play identities and it is not uncommon for powerful and dominant people to enjoy being submissive during sex play. The desire to engage in...

Great news! Research suggests that teenage sex doesn't necessarily lead to bad grades. No kidding!

If you just read the profit-driven headlines that combine the sensationalism of sex with the precariousness of the teenage years, you might believe that there is an indisputable causal link between teens being sexually active and earning lower grades.

Not so says the latest research. Those teens who have sex in the context of "romantic" relationships achieve similar academic outcomes as those who abstain from sex altogether. The researchers suggest that romantic partners may play a supportive role and help ease stress and anxiety. Bearing in mind that definitions of self-reported sexual abstinence can be highly subjective, the results can be viewed as encouraging in that they reject the inaccurate notion that teenage sex is inherently linked to poor academic performance.

However encouraging these results may be, they still privilege one type of sex (so-called romantic sex in the...

Orgasms usually involve involuntary muscle spasms, blood flow to the genitals, heightened sensitivity, increased heart rates and hormone release. They may also include ejaculation in both men and women, a visible sex flush and a subsequent state of deep relaxation.

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Though often a highpoint of sexual activity, an orgasm should not necessarily be the primary aim, as goal-oriented sex often cultivates unnecessary pressure that detracts from the overall experience. Each woman experiences orgasms differently and no two orgasmic encounters will ever be the same. Some orgasms feel like a gentle flutter or tickle while others may be described as a tremendous release.

I advise clients to experiment with orgasms on their own to become comfortable with their natural response, which may include an infinite range of facial expressions, gestures, movements, change in breathing patterns, moans, sighs, sounds and emotions. There is no “right” way to orgasm or express orgasmic...

Open Relationships and Why People Are Trying Them Out

While many young men and women may dream of finding Mr. or Mrs. Right and living happily ever after in monogamous bliss, others cannot fathom the thought of remaining sexually exclusive 'til death do them part. Sexually open (also called non-monogamous) relationships are not new, but they do seem to be appearing in popular culture more often as of late.

From Angelina Jolie to Will Smith, many celebrities are rumoured to be enjoying the freedom afforded by sexual non-exclusivity.

Open relationships come in many forms and there is no universal definition. Some people may consider themselves swingers (couples who swap partners with other couples) and others embrace polyamory (the practice of loving more than one person at a time). Even these categories encompass an almost infinite variety of arrangements. Each couple, triad or group has its own set of arrangements and limitations.

What all (good) non-monogamous relationships have in...

Continued from Part I

I describe some starter techniques below, but you can play with them to make them your own:

The Firestarter

Lube up both palms and gently rub them over the shaft of the penis as though you are warming your hands over the fire. Lube is essential to this technique, so be generous in your application. Breathe gently on his lubricated shaft to produce a tingling sensation.

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The Basic Grip

Use your non-dominant hand to grip the base of the penis by forming a tight okay sign using your index finger and thumb. This can function like a cock ring to trap blood in the penis and intensify sensation. Use the other lubricated hand to stroke up and down the shaft and apply pressure to the ridge and the frenulum.

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The Other Woman

This is the backhand grip. Turn your dominant hand upside down as though you are signalling a thumbs-down sign. Stroke up and down the shaft to offer a varied sensation from the traditional grip.

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The Multi-Tasker

Use...

This post is intended for readers over the age of 18.

Hand jobs are not just for teenagers. Though I've written about the art of sensuous touch in the past, each time I visit Desire Resort and Spa, I pick up a few new tricks from the very adventurous and experienced couples who attend my workshops. I thought I'd post a few thoughts on how to make the most of lending a hand in the bedroom, at the theatre or under the restaurant table. (Please abide by local laws.)

As always, I'll preface this post by reminding readers that every guy is different (even if they all seem the same), so there are no sure-fire ways to bring him to the heights ecstasy. All I can offer are a few techniques to get you started. You can practice on a carrot or other vegetable, but don't get too hung up on technique. I always tell my workshops participants to do what feels good for them as opposed to focusing on my instructions. If you "screw up" and twist to the left instead of the right, don't worry about it...

Sex means different things to different people and great sex often involves a range of activities and a good deal of experimentation. However, many people view penetration as "real" sex and other forms as inferior substitutes. For this reason, we often rush into penetrative activities and skip over all the fun, sensual and intimate exploration that can involve other body parts and produce orgasmic sensations throughout the entire body. Not only do we deny ourselves pleasure in doing so, but focusing solely on penis-in-the-vagina sex can result in challenges with sexual functioning, response and pleasure.

In Parts I and 2 of this series, we explored ways to touch and pleasure a woman without penetration. We will now explore some possibilities for manual sex that involve entering the vagina. As each woman is unique, you should talk to your partner about her comfort level before experimenting with new techniques. As always use lots of lube, enjoy and explore the entire body (not just...