Kinky Sex 101

BDSM describes sexual play that involves some exchange of power or pain. B stands for bondage, D stands for dominance and/or discipline, S stands for sadism (pleasure associated with inflicting pain) and/or submission and M stands for masochism (pleasure associated with receiving pain). Sometimes the terms are grouped together in pairs with BD referring to bondage and discipline, DS standing for dominance and submission, and SM referring to sado-masochism.

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While BDSM encompasses a wide range of sexual activities, practitioners tend to play complementary roles that involve some degree of power differentials. However, activities are underscored by the consent of all parties involved and BDSM can be a part of healthy, normal and safer sex play.

Playing out sexual fantasies can be a great way to explore new role-play identities and it is not uncommon for powerful and dominant people to enjoy being submissive during sex play. The desire to engage in elements of...

Breasts! They are often at the forefront of sex play and are lovely, beautiful parts of the female body.

We hear a lot about breast health and the importance of checking them regularly as part of the breast cancer screening process and this message is of paramount importance, so please do be sure to check your breasts.

There is, however, a lot more to our mammary glands than health and cancer prevention alone. Here are a few fun breast facts:

• Size doesn’t matter when it comes to sexual pleasure. Breasts come in a wide variety of shapes, sizes, colours and even textures and while women’s breasts seem to be growing (likely due to body weight increases), breast size does not impact a woman’s experience of physical pleasure. One factor that does seem to influence sensitivity and pleasure is the menstrual cycle and fluctuating hormone levels with many women reporting greater sensitivity during ovulation and less sensitivity during the first two...

New relationship sex and sex-on-the-fly may burn up your sheets, but as routine and increased comfort levels settle in it can be hard to keep things hot in the bedroom. What’s a frisky girl to do? Try out these strategies to reignite your sex life and feel free to share your own.

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One easy way to keep sex hot and keep your partner guessing is to initiate sex in unexpected locations. Leave the boring old bedroom behind and surprise your partner at work, in the shower, at the theatre, in the car, at the dinner table or in the kitchen. Obviously take the necessary safety precautions, think beyond intercourse and be aware of the laws in your area. Nothing turns a sweet sex session sour faster than a visit from the local authorities or a trip to the emergency room – trust me on this one.

Another simple way to make relationship sex hotter is to play with your timing. Instead of having sex right before you nod off to sleep, try it out in the morning or afternoon....

Dildos

Dildos are sex toys designed for vaginal or anal penetration and they can take on a variety of shapes and textures. Though dildos don’t move on their own (unlike vibrators), their curves, shapes, sizes and materials make for great sexual props for fun do-it-yourself sex play.

Double Penetration

Double Penetration (DP) often refers to the simultaneous penetration of both the vagina and anus by two different objects. While pornography often portrays DP involving one woman and two men, many people partake in DP using one penis and one toy like an anal plug, vibrator or strap-on.

DATY

DATY stands for Dining At The Y and is another term for cunnilingus or going down on a woman. Click here for some pointers.

Daisy Chains

A Daisy Chain is a group sex activity in which all members both give and receive oral sex simultaneously. Named after a string of daisy flowers linked together into a wreath, the sexier version of the daisy chain requires at least...

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C is for Cupping:

Cupping is a form of sex play in which suction cups are placed on the skin to draw blood to the surface. Cups come in varying sizes (to suit different body parts) and some use a suction cup or vacuum to create suction, while others use heat. Specialty kits designed for the explicit purpose of cupping can be purchased from sex stores and practitioners need to exercise caution when playing with suction and fire. I advise clients to take a workshop to learn about safety measures associated with cupping and discuss safety measures with their local sex-positive retailer.

C is also for the CAT position.

Designed for penile-vaginal intercourse, the CAT offers clitoral stimulation against the male’s pelvic bone. The CAT is a basic modification of the missionary position that involves the man riding up on a woman’s pelvis so they can rock and rub the clitoris against the base of his penis and/or pelvic bone. This is how the CAT breaks down:

1. The woman...

Cock Rings can be lots of fun for both men and women and despite their namesake, you don’t need to have penis to use them. Yay!

Cock rings are designed to be worn around the base of the penis and/or behind the scrotum (the sac containing the testicles); the pressure provided by cock rings can be pleasurable and they promote longer-lasting, harder erections. However, as they come with various attachments, they can be used for a variety of purposes.

Some rings are textured, ribbed or include a vibrating portion designed to stimulate a partner’s clitoris or prostate. These make for fun finger toys as well. Just slip them on your finger(s) and massage the vulva, anus, vagina or any other body part of your choice. If introducing the cock ring to your partner seems intimidating, you may start by using it as a finger ring first. Textured rings can make for some fancy, fingering fun!

Some cock rings are made of flexible material that can be stretched onto a hard or soft penis...