Tips for feeling better about your body after cancer:

Feeling great about our bodies is no easy task and negative perceptions of the way we look run rampant among all women. Add the side-effects of chemo, radiation, surgeries, drugs and medical probing into the mix and it’s no surprise that most women diagnosed with cancer also struggle to love and embrace their bodies.

But body image is less about the way you look and more about the way you feel about your body. It is a core component of self-worth and impacts the ways in which we relate to ourselves and others. It is also key to sexual functioning and positive body image is  positively correlated with levels of desire, orgasm and sexual satisfaction.

An overwhelming number of women living with cancer diagnoses report a decline in sexual desire and many connect body image issues with this side effect. And while sex may be the farthest thing from your mind during treatment and recovery, feeling as comfortable and...

Continued from Part 1 here...

3. Minimize Negative Triggers

We all have our ups and downs and it would be futile to attempt to eliminate all sources of negativity. However we can minimize exposure to unnecessary triggers that tend to promote a less than positive attitude toward our bodies.

If certain social circles, individuals, television shows or even social media updates leave you feeling inadequate, you may want to reframe or reconsider how often you embrace these connections. Surrounding yourself with people who focus on their positive attributes while acknowledging that their body is only one component of their whole selves will help you to do the same. 

4. Accept a Little Jealousy!

In our culture, we tend to view jealousy as unconditionally negative. It is often dismissed as a sign of weakness or low self-esteem when this is not always the case. In fact, we all experience some feelings of jealousy and since it is
difficult (near-impossible) to directly control our ...

The following is an excerpt from Dr. Jess O’Reilly’s best-seller, Hot Sex Tips, Tricks and Licks, published by Quiver Books. Are you dying to get inside of her and feel her warm folds surround your fingers? Of course you are! Try the Cross My Fingers technique to change things up and explore new ways to satisfy her with your bare hands.

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Positioning: Ask her to get down on her hands and knees in the Doggie position so that you get a great view from behind.

Technique:

• Begin by rubbing her bum and telling her how perfectly round, juicy and tasty it looks from behind. Mmm!
• Cross your index and middle fingers of your dominant hand and apply some lube.
• Insert your crossed fingers into her vagina with your palm facing down.
• Once you’ve inserted all the way up to your second or third finger, rotate your hand clockwise until your palm is facing up and then pull out.
• Start slowly and increase the speed as she gets worked up and keep telling her how much you love...

Dating in your 40’s is weird. Really weird. It is, as I’ve said before, as awkward and angst-laden as when you’re 14, but with higher stakes. Your hopes are higher, your expectations higher, your requirements higher, but the horizon to which you hope to ride off on the wings of love is ever so much closer. And, of course, your boobs are lower, your loins are looser and you are infinitely further away from society’s idea of perfect than when you were younger. And there’s the baggage.

No wonder we always meet for drinks.

But it’s also a lot easier, and a lot cleaner, and a lot quicker. Efficiency is hardly a sexy term, but it’s one that I keep returning to as I politely say, “you’re great, but I feel nothing for you and I wish you the best of luck.”

I went on a binge a few weeks ago. It was really a dare to myself, to just get myself out there and, if nothing else, remind myself of a few very important facts.
1. I do not have...

It can be very difficult to move on in life and in relationships after we’ve experienced betrayal, but there are strategies you can employ to facilitate the process. Read through the suggestions below and feel free to share your own in the comments section:

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Take time to heal. A clean break will make it easier to move on and focus on the positive elements of your own life. Agree not to transition to a friendship immediately after a break-up and avoid making excuses to get together. If you’re a drunk-texter, delete their number from your phone so you won’t be tempted to get in touch during a late-night moment of loneliness.

Sign off of social media You don’t have to close or deactivate your accounts altogether, but you do need a fresh start. Stop following (and analyzing) your ex’s updates and do not use social media platforms as a means of seeking attention or lashing out.

Take the high road It may be tempting to mock, bash or publicly...

Porn in 2013 has become the ubiquitous other woman. The porn debate is intense and complex for many people. I hear people talk about the role they think porn is playing in their sexual lives and I’ve noticed a big pattern where many women feel like it gets in the way of their being able to be intimate with their partners. Maybe that’s true, but I think there are other factors going on that I want to address in this article. We could debate all day long about how pornography depicts unrealistic images of women’s bodies, men’s penises and sex itself, and how that creates all sorts of unrealistic expectations for many people when they actually have a real sexual relationship. Porn is there for entertainment and arousal and it fulfills something in people who watch, otherwise it wouldn’t be a multi-billion dollar industry. But let’s talk about the ideas that many people are attaching to their partner’s love of porn. If you are threatened because...

This month is all about Do-It-Yourself and as fantastic as some of the latest homemade crafts and edible gifts may be, I cannot think of a better project to work on with your very own hands than a little self-pleasure.

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With new research suggesting that over 90 percent of men and women have made solo sex a part of their erotic repertoire, there is hope that the days of shame, stigma and shameful hairy palm myths are long gone. Considering that most people will experience their very first orgasm at the hands of...their own hands, it’s a good thing too! Read on for my favourite tips to get the most out of self-love.

Fantasize!

Thinking about someone other than the love of your life during sex is NOT tantamount to cheating. In fact, 84 percent of men and women admit to fantasizing about other partners and research suggests that those who fantasize have the most fulfilling sex lives. So go ahead and let your mind wander a little...

If you don’t know what to...

The following is an excerpt from Dr. Jess’ best-selling book, Hot Sex Tips, Tricks and Licks.

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Technique #1: Take My Breath Away

Want to get her all hot and primed for an orgasm that tingles all over? Then take a page out of the ancient sex text, The Kama Sutra, and blow oh-so-gentle kisses her way until she’s begging for more. It may be hard to resist putting your wet puckered lips against her glistening skin, but a little bit of teasing can go a long way and it will be well worth it in the end.

Positioning:

Ask her to lie on her stomach in the Face Down, Bum Up! position so that you’re able to get between her thighs.

Technique:

• Get your lips nice and wet so that she can feel the warm moisture approaching her skin.
• Start by blowing gentle kisses all over her left outer foot and ankle bringing your lips as close to her skin as possible without making contact.
• Be sure to let out a gentle breath as you kiss so that she can feel your warmth and desire.
• ...

Last weekend, I had the pleasure of exhibiting and speaking at The Everything To Do With Sex Show in Toronto. Over 45 000 guests passed through the doors of this action-packed trade show and more than 5000 singles and couples attended my seminars on oral sex. I could not believe the turnout! Apparently fellatio and cunnilingus are hot topics and people arrived in droves to learn the “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Vagina” and “The Goddess” techniques alongside a few hundred of their closest acquaintances. It was quite the rush to stand on the stage in front of such a large crowd of eager and enthusiastic students. Now, it is my pleasure to share my favourite money-move with you, my loyal readers.

The Goddess hand-job technique is a sure-fire way to finish him off and leave him aching for more of you, you and only you! It’s super easy and can be adapted to suit a range of positions of scenarios. Try it out tonight and let me know how it goes:

...

Of all the workshops I teach, Dirty Talk, is among my favourites! I promise clients that if they learn to talk dirty, they can be the laziest lovers and still blow their partners’ minds. This is because dirty talk is all about learning to tap into your most intense fantasies and bring them to life in words. And since fantasy is often hotter than reality, crawling into your partner’s dirty mind is the key to a long-lasting and fulfilling sexual relationship.

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Many people learn to talk dirty from porn, but this leaves them with a limited repertoire that excludes the personal element of sexy talk. Moreover, dirty talk doesn’t have to be rough, hardcore or even sexual to be erotic. The most enticing bedroom chatter can be romantic, teasing, alluring, demanding, submissive, naughty and fantastical.

Follow these guidelines to get started and be sure to check back next week for some explicit one-liners you can use to develop your dirty talk arsenal:

The first...