You’ve read Fifty Shades of Grey, taken a few good sex workshops and experimented with blindfolds, restraints and hot wax. But have you taken the time to discuss the concept of R.A.C.K with your lover(s)? If so, we’d love to hear your thoughts. If not, please read through this non-exhaustive explanation and consider talking to your partner(s) about what kinky sex means to you.

The following is an excerpt from my new book, The Little Book of Kink:

R.A.C.K. stands for risk-aware, consensual kink and this basic phrase outlines two of the essential components of kink while recognizing that there is some risk inherent to all sex play.

For kinky sex to be considered risk-aware, all parties involved must understand and acknowledge the potential negative outcomes of the proposed activity. These risks are ideally discussed ahead of time -- not in the heat of the moment when sexual tension is already building. It is important to address the measures you plan to take to minimize...

Would you like a little spanking?

BDSM describes sexual play that involves some exchange of power or pain. B stands for bondage, D stands for dominance and/or discipline, S stands for sadism (pleasure associated with inflicting pain) and/or submission and M stands for masochism (pleasure associated with receiving pain). Sometimes the terms are grouped together in pairs with BD referring to bondage and discipline, DS standing for dominance and submission, and SM referring to sado-masochism.

While BDSM encompasses a wide range of sexual activities, practitioners tend to play complementary roles that involve some degree of power differentials. However, activities are underscored by the consent of all parties involved and BDSM can be a part of healthy, normal and safer sex play.

Playing out sexual fantasies can be a great way to explore new role-play identities and it is not uncommon for powerful and dominant people to enjoy being submissive during sex play. The desire to engage in...

Could you coach football without ever having seen a game?

Each time I host a workshop that addresses the expansion of sexual repertoire, I'm reminded of the fact that very few of us have had the opportunity to learn about sex through the valuable lens of observation. Sure. Many of us have glanced at (and admired) our reflections in the heat of action in an overhead ceiling mirror and we've all been exposed to a whole bunch of actors (I use this term loosely) having the sexual time of their lives, but how many have actually watched others have sex for educational or erotic purposes? Very few.

And how many people have received any formal training in how to give and receive sexual pleasure? Other cultures teach their children how to pleasure themselves and offer formal instruction to young adults in the art of loving and sexual pleasure. This may sound outlandish, but some of our common sexual practices (too much tequila and some sloppy fumbling around in the dark) aren't exactly...