Love Your Body! - Part 1

Tips for feeling better about your body after cancer:

Feeling great about our bodies is no easy task and negative perceptions of the way we look run rampant among all women. Add the side-effects of chemo, radiation, surgeries, drugs and medical probing into the mix and it’s no surprise that most women diagnosed with cancer also struggle to love and embrace their bodies.

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But body image is less about the way you look and more about the way you feel about your body. It is a core component of self-worth and impacts the ways in which we relate to ourselves and others. It is also key to sexual functioning and positive body image is  positively correlated with levels of desire, orgasm and sexual satisfaction.

An overwhelming number of women living with cancer diagnoses report a decline in sexual desire and many connect body image issues with this side effect. And while sex may be the farthest thing from your mind during treatment and recovery, feeling as comfortable and...

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Love Your Body! - Part 2

Continued from Part 1 here...

3. Minimize Negative Triggers

We all have our ups and downs and it would be futile to attempt to eliminate all sources of negativity. However we can minimize exposure to unnecessary triggers that tend to promote a less than positive attitude toward our bodies.

If certain social circles, individuals, television shows or even social media updates leave you feeling inadequate, you may want to reframe or reconsider how often you embrace these connections. Surrounding yourself with people who focus on their positive attributes while acknowledging that their body is only one component of their whole selves will help you to do the same. 

4. Accept a Little Jealousy!

In our culture, we tend to view jealousy as unconditionally negative. It is often dismissed as a sign of weakness or low self-esteem when this is not always the case. In fact, we all experience some feelings of jealousy and since it is
difficult (near-impossible) to directly control our ...

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Have You Heard of the Mona Lisa Touch?

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of meeting with Dr. Fay Weisberg, a Toronto-based gynaecologist, who has recently introduced new technology that piqued my interest. I don't have a background in medicine, so I asked her to explain a bit more about the Mona Lisa Touch treatment:

What inspired you to start the FemRenew clinic?

In my years as a gynaecologist, I have come to realize that many women have real issues with their vaginal health,  whether it be pain, dryness, mild incontinence, burning or all of the above.  I have also realized that many women are either embarrassed about these symptoms or have their questions passed over and not answered.  As a result, I have become very sympathetic to these patients, and have made it my mission to help women obtain excellent vaginal health - as it does make a very big difference in their quality of life.  My FemRenew clinic is a forum for me to provide this service.

How does it work?

The Mona Lisa Touch is...

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Finding The Best Online Dating Site

Dating in in the digital age isn’t easy and neither is finding the right online dating site. There are many options out there that claim to be the best and to find you “true love,” but as most of you know, that’s not always the case. So, instead of wasting hours of your own time, Reviews.com, a company dedicated to conducting unbiased research, has looked into finding the best online dating sites out there. The last thing you want to do is be on an ineffective dating site that never pays out, so let’s see what they found…

They first rounded up all of the contenders, focusing on dating sites as opposed to apps and they looked for sites with a wide geographical net. Then they prioritized an active user base, looking through a web-traffic analytic company to see how many people are actually on each site . Then they scoured through user-reviews and even personally tested the finalists to get a hands-on feeling of each site.

After...

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How to Talk About Sex!

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Excerpted from Dr. Jess' book Hot Sex: Tips, Tricks and Licks

Oral sex isn’t always about getting on your knees and puckering up. Some of the best oral sex (think long-term payoff) can be taken care of standing up or sitting at the dinner table—through real, honest communication. Getting oral with your partner is probably the most important thing you can do to cultivate a red-hot sexual relationship. So start talking!

It may not be easy to do, but the more you practice the easier it gets. If a topic is awkward, use these four tips to get started:

Talk when the time is right. Initiating a serious conversation about sex right before you’re about to get hot and heavy isn’t always an ideal. you’re more likely to rush through the discussion if you’re goal is really to get down to business. So set some time aside when sex is off the table: Start talking about sex while you’re out for coffee,...

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Let’s Talk About Sex – With Our Partner(s)

By: Lyba Spring

Do we have to talk about sex?

It is generally accepted that we have to talk about sexuality in some way to our children so that they can develop into sexually healthy individuals. But what about our partners?  Whether it’s a one-time thing or a long-term committed relationship, there are three prerequisites to any sexual activity: consent, safety and pleasure.

There is no way around it: communication is key. For some people, this feels entirely natural; for others, they’d rather visit the dentist. Let’s say you have a new partner. You are very turned on to each other. You’ve managed to discuss mutual protection and have negotiated safer sex and/or contraception if pregnancy is an issue. You’ve agreed that you’re going to have sex – whatever that term means to the both of you. That’s two down off the checklist. Now, are you going to present a menu of what pleases you before the clothes come off; or are you going to...

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VIDEO: Tiger & Lindsey Break Up. How Can Busy Couples Make It Work?

In light of Woods and Vonn's breakup, Jess shares specific tips for maintaining a happy relationships despite our hectic lifestyles. Check out the video or read through the quick summary below.

Tips for busy couples:

1. Say "no" to social and professional commitments when you can. Ask yourself if commitments and their expected outcomes will matter to you when you're 88 years old. If not, say "no" and divert the time toward the person (or people) who will matter at the age of 88.

2. Block off time to be alone and be sure to write it down in your agendas. Some of the busiest couples in the world schedule one weekend alone per month 6 months in advance without exception. You can do it too. If they run into conflicts (e.g. weddings), they pull out their agendas and reschedule to ensure that 12 weekends per year are reserved for one another.

3. Travel together for business once in awhile. Add one day to your business trip for pleasure.

4. Learn to "speak" one another's Love Languages so...

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Desire Resorts Partners with Dr. Jess!

World renowned relationship expert and best-selling author, Jessica O’Reilly, has signed on as Desire Resorts’ official sexologist. You may know Dr. Jess from PlayboyTV’s Swing, ABC Spark’s Love Trap or from the pages of Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health and Men’s Fitness, but she is also a huge fan of Desire Resorts. “This is one of the most exciting collaborations for the Dr. Jess brand and also one of the most obvious. Desire Resorts provide the perfect environment for couples to reconnect, both practically and intimately, so I’ve been sending couples to their facilities for years. I know from personal experience that even a few days at one of their resorts can completely transform a relationship.”

Dr. Jess first arrived at Desire Riviera Maya as a guest in 2006 and in 2008, she hosted her first couples’ workshop onsite. She now facilitates retreats, workshops and seminars at both locations several times per year. Her...

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The Stork: Contraception Enhancement

A few weeks ago, I got to know an at-home conception aid called The Stork. We worked together to develop some tips for reducing stress and boosting intimacy for couples who are trying to conceive. I've posted them below. If you want to learn more about The Stork, check out the video and my layperson description below.

The Stork - Tip Sheet - FINAL, APPROVED

 

 

This device, which can be used at home during intercourse, involves two pieces -- one that resembles a condom and another that works like a tampon with a long handle. For male-female couples, the man wears the condom (they call it a conceptacle, as is contains a cervical cap-like device in the tip) during intercourse and then removes the cervical cap after ejaculating. The woman places the cervical cap on the tip of the applicator and  slides it into her vaginal canal to sit against her cervix. After 4-6 hours, she pulls it out using the tampon-like string.

Please note that as an educator, Jess is not a medical practitioner and does...

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In Support of the "Relfie"

Narcissistic Selfie Association

The steadily growing selfie trend has been criticized time and time again for denoting vanity and narcissism, as well as for its tendency towards posturing and inauthenticity. Because flattering angles, filters and editing tools are used liberally in selfie culture, some people view takers of selfies as “fake” and attention-seeking. In spite of society’s tireless tirade against the selfie, I will always be in full support of it for the reason that, in my opinion, there is nothing inherently wrong with seeking attention. You are indeed gorgeous and noteworthy and you should share your mug with the world if it makes you happy! Selfies have the power to build self-esteem, forge connections through social networking and express one’s individual style and identity. Besides, there are far worse evils in the world than taking a photo of you and your new outfit. Or your new sweetheart.

Your new sweetheart

The “relfie”, a term first coined in Science of Relationships,...

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