Last week, I tweeted some tips for reaching orgasm more quickly for women and the brilliant Joan Price pointed out that I left vibrators off the list. Considering the fact that almost all of my clients love their battery-operated toys, it really was quite an oversight! This omission coupled with a recent discussion I had with a passionate women’s group in Mexico prompted me to write this piece on vibrators and their role the bedroom.

When it comes to sex toys, there is a lot of misinformation out there, so I’m keen to set the record straight by addressing some of the most common vibrator myths I come across in my practice...

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Myth: Vibrators are for single ladies.

Fact: While I can totally envision an awesome ad for the latest and greatest vibrator choreographed to Beyonce’s hit single (how cute would dancing vibrators be?), married women actually report higher rates of use than singles (60 vs. 30 percent). Given that women who use vibrators also report...

Apparently, G is for more than just the G-Spot. I had difficulty choosing from all the awesome options once again, but here is a sampling:

Gamaphobia: An irrational or exaggerated fear of marriage.

Genuphallation: Sex in which the penis is inserted and stimulated between a partner’s knees. Use lube for this one — unless you like chafed knees.

GFE: Acronym for the Girlfriend Experience which refers to a type of service offered by female sex workers. The exact description will vary from person to person, but it often involves interacting with the client as a girlfriend would and may include a range of interactive activities beyond sex.

Glory Hole: A hole in a wall between rooms or bathroom stalls into which a penis (or other object) can be inserted for manual, oral or other sexual stimulation. Make sure there are no rough edges around the hole! If you’re nervous about putting your hose in the hole, you can always sit back and watch. But be...

Oh, the lovely letter F. It really is quite a mouthful. There are so many great words to choose from, but here is a little sampling…

Fisting refers to inserting a very – and I mean very well-lubricated hand into the vagina or anus. If you want to work toward fisting, be sure to proceed very gradually beginning with a small finger and then adding a few more. Be sure to trim your nails and remove all jewellery. Whether you’re fisting a vagina or an anus, communication is of utmost importance to ensure that both you and your partner are comfortable proceeding. It may be most comfortable for the fistee to lie on his/her back with the knees bent and legs spread. The fister should gradually insert more lubricated fingers with the palm facing upward toward the belly. Once all four fingers are inserted as far as the second set of knuckles, the thumb can be tucked into the palm so that the hand forms a beak-like shape. Continue progressing gradually...

Erogenous Zones

Erogenous Zones are sensitive areas of the body that may produce a sexual response when stimulated. Though the obvious erogenous zones include the breasts, nipples, anus, perineum, testicles, penis (really?) and the vulva, the whole body has the potential to be one big super-awesome erogenous zone. Here are a few other erogenous areas that may spark your interest:

1. The inner bend of the elbow where the forearm meets the upper arm. Play with this crease gently and see how your partner responds.

2. The Philthrum – this is the little indentation between the upper lip and the nose. Try playing with your partner’s philthrum with your lips, tongue and breath while kissing. Or you can get creative and stimulate the philthrum during oral sex play.

3. The Collarbone – in my Erogenous Exploration workshops, this is the body part to which women seem to respond most favourably and with the greatest surprise.

Erection

An Erection is part of a physiological...

I’m a sexologist. I study sex: what people do and how they feel about it. It’s a tough job, but someone has got to do it.

At cocktail parties, people are intrigued by my profession and I’m flooded with questions:

How did I get into sexology?

I started as a sexual health peer counsellor in undergrad and realized how much we all have to learn about sex.

Am I really into sex?

Oh yes.

Do I work with people with sexual dysfunctions?

Sometimes. But others with already-great sex lives come to sexologists for healthy enrichment strategies.

What’s it like to hear about people’s most personal secrets?

It’s fun, exciting, interesting and natural. Most importantly, it’s an ongoing learning process and I think I provide a valuable (and rare) outlet for discussing the vital subject of sex.

Does my husband know he’s a lucky guy?

Heck yeah. And I’m lucky too.

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But what people really want to talk about are their own...