Spank that monkey. Rub that rascal. Stroke that sweet spot.

Masturbation. Whatever you do and whatever you call it, know that you’re perfectly normal and there is no shame in a little self pleasure!

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I receive so many emails from concerned masturbators who fear that their solo sex sessions are inherently deviant and will inevitably lead to sexual and/or health problems. However, nothing could be farther from the truth. In fact, touching yourself for sexual pleasure can be good for you!

Here are a few reasons to DIY:

It just might be good for your health Studies suggest that sexual pleasure, both partnered and solo, is linked with positive health outcomes including improved prostate health, heightened immunity and better circulation.

It can make partnered sex more pleasurable Most of us agree that you have to love yourself before you can open up to being loved by another and the same principles apply to sex. Masturbation not only offers an opportunity to discover new...

Dr. Jess passed through Grande Prairie last week to participate in HIV North Society's 25th anniversary! She met with a great group of enthusiastic community members and shared insights on everything from healthy relationships to the mysterious G-Spot. Check out some of the pics below!

These lovely ladies (all co-workers) made Dr. Jess' event at Ovations Theatre a "work night" out!

Jared Gossen, Team Lead of HIV/North Society & Amanda, Street Nurse, pose for a quick shot!

Brittney (RN) taught Dr. Jess a thing or two about childbirth and the female anatomy...

Dr. Jess poses with another fun workshop participant.

What a novel concept! Amid the hustle, bustle and stress of the Edmonton airport, a pianist offers some soothing sounds...

Check out what the Daily Herald Tribune had to say about Dr. Jess' event:

Renowned Sexologist Takes The Stage Monday

By Caryn Ceolin

"Dirty talk won’t happen just in the bedroom, Monday evening.

HIV...

Dating in your 40’s is weird. Really weird. It is, as I’ve said before, as awkward and angst-laden as when you’re 14, but with higher stakes. Your hopes are higher, your expectations higher, your requirements higher, but the horizon to which you hope to ride off on the wings of love is ever so much closer. And, of course, your boobs are lower, your loins are looser and you are infinitely further away from society’s idea of perfect than when you were younger. And there’s the baggage.

No wonder we always meet for drinks.

But it’s also a lot easier, and a lot cleaner, and a lot quicker. Efficiency is hardly a sexy term, but it’s one that I keep returning to as I politely say, “you’re great, but I feel nothing for you and I wish you the best of luck.”

I went on a binge a few weeks ago. It was really a dare to myself, to just get myself out there and, if nothing else, remind myself of a few very important facts.
1. I do not have...

Porn in 2013 has become the ubiquitous other woman. The porn debate is intense and complex for many people. I hear people talk about the role they think porn is playing in their sexual lives and I’ve noticed a big pattern where many women feel like it gets in the way of their being able to be intimate with their partners. Maybe that’s true, but I think there are other factors going on that I want to address in this article. We could debate all day long about how pornography depicts unrealistic images of women’s bodies, men’s penises and sex itself, and how that creates all sorts of unrealistic expectations for many people when they actually have a real sexual relationship. Porn is there for entertainment and arousal and it fulfills something in people who watch, otherwise it wouldn’t be a multi-billion dollar industry. But let’s talk about the ideas that many people are attaching to their partner’s love of porn. If you are threatened because...

Trusting a lover is not always easy. We’ve all experienced some form of betrayal and even when we’re trying to mind our own business, news and rumours of sexual infidelity surround us.

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From neighbours and friends to celebrities and politicians, almost every relationship will be tested by the temptation or aftermath of a sexual affair. So how can you learn to trust your partner when you’re seemingly surrounded by marriage breakdowns and cheating spouses? Read on for my top three suggestions and feel free to add your own in the comments below.

1. Understand that supervision doesn’t amount to trust. Some lovers believe that having their partners check-in on a regular basis will affair-proof their relationships. Others try to spend every waking moment together as a form of supervision. The reality is that neither of these approaches works and failing to maintain some degree of independence can actually backfire and wreak havoc on a relationship. If you...

Have you been on the receiving end of a bad load of semen? You are not alone. Many people report that the taste of their partners ejaculate is often bad or even unpalatable. Fear not: you are not destined for terrible tasting love liquid.

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While there are no scientific studies that have looked at improving the taste of semen, there are a lot of tips you can try to better your flavor. Everyone has their own particular taste, and this taste can change due to a number of factors. Here are some habits that can contribute to a lousy load:

• Sulfur containing veggies like broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, asparagus and Brussels sprouts
• Extra spicy/garlicky food
• Cigarettes
• Coffee
• Alcohol
• Red Meat
• Dairy

Try to incorporate these foods for a better blend:

• Fresh fruits like pineapple, melon, mango, papaya
• Citrus fruits like lemons, limes, and oranges
• Pineapple (the most often recommended trick)
• Parsley/Cilantro
• Cinnamon
• Non-sulfur vegetables
• And most importantly water! (flush out...

Kinky Sex 101

Image courtesy of Know Your Sins- https://knowyoursins.com/

BDSM describes sexual play that involves some exchange of power or pain. B stands for bondage, D stands for dominance and/or discipline, S stands for sadism (pleasure associated with inflicting pain) and/or submission and M stands for masochism (pleasure associated with receiving pain). Sometimes the terms are grouped together in pairs with BD referring to bondage and discipline, DS standing for dominance and submission, and SM referring to sado-masochism.

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While BDSM encompasses a wide range of sexual activities, practitioners tend to play complementary roles that involve some degree of power differentials. However, activities are underscored by the consent of all parties involved and BDSM can be a part of healthy, normal and safer sex play.

Playing out sexual fantasies can be a great way to explore new role-play identities and it is not uncommon for powerful and dominant people to...

Why not do something healthy with the one you love? Doing high intensity training like we do in Urban Warrior also boosts testosterone levels.

“A revved up sex drive may also occur from other sympathetic hormones like epinephrine (adrenalin) that make a person more energized, or even opioids like beta-endorphins that can produce a “feel-good” effect. Or it may be that the psychological self-confidence that you get from being physically fit, accomplishing fitness goals (exercising on a regular basis, for example) or simply losing weight boosts your self-esteem and helps you to feel sexier”.

Exercise together and there’s a good chance your sex life is going to rock (good selling point for the boys or randy chicas out there). Don’t be afraid to use this fact to coerce your partners into getting fit with you.

Most couple’s boot camps are about fast food style relationship overhaul, lots of talking and expressing emotions. Here’s a link to...

We only have one vagina, ladies, so taking care of the one you have should be a top priority. Here are some ways you can keep your nether regions happy and healthy:

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Hair Removal

If using a razor, make sure it is clean with no rusting. Ideally, it isbe the best to use a new razor every time, but if it’s not possible please make sure it is at peak performance and the razor blades are sharp. The sharper the blade the easier the shaving process, the duller the blade the more drag occurs against the skin which causes razor burn.

This area is extremely sensitive and prone to irritation from hair removal.

When using hair removal methods such as creams or waxes make sure they are safe for use on the genital area. Some brands give you direct instructions on how to use their products on the genital area while others direct you not to use their products at all in this area. Always follow instructions and precautions because it’s better to be safe and sorry.

Eat your...

Sometimes you get so stuck sexually and you are so used to feeling stuck, you have no way to gauge how or why.

I see this a lot with new sex coaching clients and prospects. If a woman has gotten far enough in her process to call me, she at least has some sense that her sexuality needs attention. Sometimes that’s as much as she knows. Figuring out the way into it or how to break it down feels hard and the whole of her sexual issues becomes a series of symptoms with vague ideas of the root causes.
I recently spoke to a woman who described her sexuality as a ball with no handles that just rolls and rolls and she doesn’t know where or how to get a grip on it. I think many people feel this way about sexuality because it’s so big and so many potential issues come up that they do not know where to begin.

You can start by taking your own sexual temperature, so to speak. Look at the various key aspects of your sexuality and if you could literally take your temperature, how...