How To Get Over A Cheater
It can be very difficult to move on in life and in relationships after we’ve experienced betrayal, but there are strategies you can employ to facilitate the process. Read through the suggestions below and feel free to share your own in the comments section:
Take time to heal. A clean break will make it easier to move on and focus on the positive elements of your own life. Agree not to transition to a friendship immediately after a break-up and avoid making excuses to get together. If you’re a drunk-texter, delete their number from your phone so you won’t be tempted to get in touch during a late-night moment of loneliness.
Sign off of social media You don’t have to close or deactivate your accounts altogether, but you do need a fresh start. Stop following (and analyzing) your ex’s updates and do not use social media platforms as a means of seeking attention or lashing out.
Take the high road It may be tempting to mock, bash or publicly...
How To Trust Your Partner
Trusting a lover is not always easy. We’ve all experienced some form of betrayal and even when we’re trying to mind our own business, news and rumours of sexual infidelity surround us.
From neighbours and friends to celebrities and politicians, almost every relationship will be tested by the temptation or aftermath of a sexual affair. So how can you learn to trust your partner when you’re seemingly surrounded by marriage breakdowns and cheating spouses? Read on for my top three suggestions and feel free to add your own in the comments below.
1. Understand that supervision doesn’t amount to trust. Some lovers believe that having their partners check-in on a regular basis will affair-proof their relationships. Others try to spend every waking moment together as a form of supervision. The reality is that neither of these approaches works and failing to maintain some degree of independence can actually backfire and wreak havoc on a relationship. If you...
Chatting or Cheating? When does online chatting cross the line?
In-the-flesh affairs are easy to identify. From making out in a cab to sneaking away for some afternoon delight, unless you’re Bill Clinton, there is little ambiguity when physical contact is involved. But the same cannot always be said for online affairs and the line between friendly chatter and full-blown cheating is often blurred by distance, uncertainty and sometimes a dose of self-serving rationalization.
In my practice, I hear from many clients who admit to crossing lines of infidelity online that they wouldn’t dare approach in-person. Whether they’re sending flirty Facebook messages or full-on sexts, technology has not only transformed the way we communicate, but it has also changed the way we cheat.
Dr. Katherine Hertlein, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist believes that online chatting is set up perfectly to facilitate cheating. “It’s affordable, accessible and anonymous,” explains Hertlein. “And since...
Does Your Partner Cheat? Part 2
Continued from previous post...
Talking about boundaries and expectations also produces a perfect opportunity to discuss the potential for diversity or experimentation within all types of relationships. Clients who are interested in swinging often ask for advice on how to introduce the subject to their partners. While it is unlikely that most people will be open to a sudden change in relationship structure, asking your partners about their fantasies can create an exciting dialogue and produce shared fantasies and role play games that can be even more mind-blowing than the real thing.
But back to the question at hand: what is cheating? In short, cheating involves engaging in any activity (emails, text messages, telephone calls, physical intimacy, emotional companionship, etc.) to which your partners would not consent. A good starting point is to act in a similar manner both in the presence and absence of your partners. If they would be uncomfortable watching you act in a particular...
Does Your Partner Cheat? Part 1
That Depends On Your Definition of Cheating.
What is cheating? Does a kiss, a long glance, a casual screw, an online romance or a secret emotional connection constitute relationship infidelity? As a culture that celebrates diversity, it is important to remember that relationships come in all shapes and sizes. Accordingly, there is no determinate set of acts or behaviours can be universally considered cheating. Some people are open to (even welcoming of) friendly flirting, intimate friendships and casual threesomes, while others cringe at the thought of sharing their partners.
There is no perfect fit for relationships. Serial monogamy, polyamory, open relationship triads, swinging and a range of other options are all legitimate and potentially challenging arrangements. Proponents of monogamy may claim that their relationship provides more intense intimacy and companionship, while polyamorists may view monogamy as a limiting form of possession.
It is easy to be critical or...
