In response to my earlier post, How to Initiate Sex: 10 Pointers For Women, I’ve received several requests from men asking for tips on initiating sex with their female partners. Ask and you shall receive!

Trusting a lover is not always easy. We’ve all experienced some form of betrayal and even when we’re trying to mind our own business, news and rumours of sexual infidelity surround us.

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From neighbours and friends to celebrities and politicians, almost every relationship will be tested by the temptation or aftermath of a sexual affair. So how can you learn to trust your partner when you’re seemingly surrounded by marriage breakdowns and cheating spouses? Read on for my top three suggestions and feel free to add your own in the comments below.

1. Understand that supervision doesn’t amount to trust. Some lovers believe that having their partners check-in on a regular basis will affair-proof their relationships. Others try to spend every waking moment together as a form of supervision. The reality is that neither of these approaches works and failing to maintain some degree of independence can actually backfire and wreak havoc on a relationship. If you...

“I’d rather eat chocolate.”

“I just don’t care for it. It’s more of a hassle.”

“I want to be in the mood, but it just doesn’t happen anymore.”

Do you ever wonder what happened to your libido? Are you in an otherwise happy relationship in which the sexual tension seems to have vanished and you’d like to get it back? You are not alone! Losing interest in sex is actually quite common for women of all ages and while our reasons for becoming uninterested are varied, there are some common themes that emerge in our highly personal stories.

Read on to uncover some of the top reasons women lose interest in sex and explore practical strategies for getting your sexual groove back.

Performance Pressure

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Sex is supposed to be an experience, not a performance. If we could shift it back toward the former, the bulk of our sexual challenges would be easily resolved. Unfortunately, our obsession with sex as an indicator of...

Limerence is a term used to describe that period of hot longing and lustful infatuation that we feel when we first connect with someone and begin to fall in love. That sexy spark and constant (almost obsessive) passion is enough to make us look past our partner’s flaws and see nothing but perfection. Yes. We are blinded by love.

Just writing this description makes my heart race a little bit and I need a moment to breathe a big slow exhale right now. If you’re a true romantic or have ever experienced the euphoria of falling in love, you probably know what I’m talking about.

If you’ve ever been in love, you have likely also experienced the decline of limerence or the perception of falling out of love, as limerence can be short-lived. While love can last a lifetime, the thrill of falling in love and the passion of a new romance fades over time, which is why so many couples complain that they’ve lost that lovin’ feeling.

But have no fear, because you...

Consider making a few resolutions to bring that feeling of limerence back into your love life. I’ve listed a few suggestions below, but be creative and realistic with your own resolutions bearing in mind that keeping it hot takes work, but the process can be as much fun as the results.

Some ideas to get you started:

1. Call for no reason. We all fall into routines and though we may take comfort in the predictability, it can become boring very quickly. Be sure to call or text your partner a few times a week just to say hi and let them know you care. And be strict with the content of these calls and texts. Don’t ask your partner to pick up milk on the way home or slip in a story about the drama of your workplace. Keep the call purely intimate — you are more than roommates or business partners, so act like it. Some possible texts might include:

• I love you.
• I want you.
• I’m thinking of you.
• I can’t wait to see you.
• You make me happy.
• You’re the best.
...

While long distance love may make for lonely nights and the need to keep a few extra batteries on hand in the nightstand, loving from a distance is a common arrangement in the modern, globalized world. As more people connect through online dating, new relationships are often separated by hundreds of miles (or more) from the onset. And though the distance may prove challenging at times, smart couples are taking advantage of all that long-distance love has to offer.

On the plus side, absence not only has the potential to make the heart grow stronger, but it can also make the libido soar. While intimacy may be cultivated through comfort and closeness, raw sexual desire is often fueled by unpredictability, risk and the unknown. So sex in long distance relationships can be very hot — as long as you don’t let a little space get in the way.

Phone sex, Skype sex (hooray for webcams) and sexting are not only the perfect foreplay to let the tension build until your next in-person...

That Depends On Your Definition of Cheating.

What is cheating? Does a kiss, a long glance, a casual screw, an online romance or a secret emotional connection constitute relationship infidelity? As a culture that celebrates diversity, it is important to remember that relationships come in all shapes and sizes. Accordingly, there is no determinate set of acts or behaviours can be universally considered cheating. Some people are open to (even welcoming of) friendly flirting, intimate friendships and casual threesomes, while others cringe at the thought of sharing their partners.

There is no perfect fit for relationships. Serial monogamy, polyamory, open relationship triads, swinging and a range of other options are all legitimate and potentially challenging arrangements. Proponents of monogamy may claim that their relationship provides more intense intimacy and companionship, while polyamorists may view monogamy as a limiting form of possession.

It is easy to be critical or...

This is the workshop for which I received the most thanks from the female attendees. Going down on a woman can be a wonderful source of pleasure for all parties involved and we can all use a few suggestions to improve our repertoire. I list a few tidbits below and welcome your recommendations and feedback.

General Suggestions:

• Communication is of utmost importance for mutual enjoyment. Ask your partner what she likes and welcome her reactions.
• A good partner is eager to offer constructive feedback and show appreciation for her partner's efforts.
• Safer sex practices for cunnilingus involve the use of barrier methods such as dental dams.
• For increased sensation and pleasure, apply a water-based lubricant to both sides of the dental dam.
• Consider pleasuring and teasing her entire body before proceeding to her vulva. 

Grooving:

• Gently run your tongue between the grooves of her outer and inner labia.
• Alternate your breathing patterns to stimulate her...

Continued from the previous post...

Feel out their responses to understand their mental trigger points and build on them. If your partner loves to hear about sex in exotic/public places, keep changing the scenarios to add variety. Tie in real-life elements (sex in the workplace or in the car) to make it seem attainable and further entrench their interest. And if your fantasies are highly divergent (they like sex in public places and you just love the chill of handcuffs) combine your fantasies to create a new script (sex in the park with the pigeons watching while you’re tied up to the bench). Talking about or envisioning an ultimate scenario, partner, body part or other fantasy object right before climax can enhance your body’s response and intensify your orgasmic experience.

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And don’t worry about stretching the truth a little. In a committed relationship with open communication, telling your partner that you’d love to see...

The following post is intended for those over the age of 18. If you are not yet 18, please access www.sexualityandu.com for accurate sex information.

As promised, I describe another oral sex term below: The Aficionado. This one is for all the men and women who love women, enjoy pleasing us and keeping us coming back for more.

Once again, I can only offer my personal thoughts based on my own experience, research and conversations with other women. This is not a prescription for great cunnilingus, but just a description of one possible approach to fun, sensual muff-diving. Contrary to the popular belief that “anything you do feels good down there”, each woman has a set of unique desires and responses and open communication is the best way to learn about what she loves. This open communication should be a two-way street in which she gives encouraging feedback and you ask supportive questions.

Encouraging feedback might include the following requests/responses: Faster. Oh...