How To Keep The Flame Burning Over The Holidays
The holiday season can be a stressful time for many couples, so check out Dr. Jess’ tips to help keep your flame burning as your ring in the new year.
Forego Gift-Giving
Good things may come in small packages, but great things come in the form of our most valuable asset…time. The pressure to choose the perfect gift can detract from the cheer of the season, so trade in time at the mall for quality time spent together.
Take turns planning an intimate date and use these ideas as inspiration:
Go ice skating hand-in-hand.
Hit up the tobogganing hill beneath the stars.
Prepare a private brunch for two.
Indulge in a spa day.
Take a holiday cooking class together.
Snuggle up for an evening of spiked hot cocoa and cheesy holiday movies.
Go snow tubing!
Volunteer at a local soup kitchen or “adopt”’ a child and purchase holiday gifts from their wish list.
“Match” Your Family Time
The holidays usually involve a series of...
The Naughty-But-Nice Gift Guide
Gifts From The Heart
You don’t have to dig deep into your wallet for naughty-but-nice gifts to surprise your lover this holiday season. Try your hand at writing a sexy story or compose a holiday-themed love letter and send it via the old-fashioned post. Make your own massage oil using olive or baby oil or tie a few colourful spatulas together with a festive ribbon and get kinky with some playful spankings. Wrap up a soft-bristled paintbrush and keep your lover guessing as to its use as you melt chocolate wafers for a sensual body-painting session. Alternatively, freeze some apple cider and play with the cool sensations and tastes against your most erogenous body parts before snuggling up under your blankets or in front of the fireplace. Do you know a couple in need of a few hours of alone-time? Offer up the gift of time and schedule a babysitting session outside of their home to let them relax and unwind as they enjoy a quick adult escape. Finally, take advantage of...
The Truth About Vibrators
Last week, I tweeted some tips for reaching orgasm more quickly for women and the brilliant Joan Price pointed out that I left vibrators off the list. Considering the fact that almost all of my clients love their battery-operated toys, it really was quite an oversight! This omission coupled with a recent discussion I had with a passionate women’s group in Mexico prompted me to write this piece on vibrators and their role the bedroom.
When it comes to sex toys, there is a lot of misinformation out there, so I’m keen to set the record straight by addressing some of the most common vibrator myths I come across in my practice...
Myth: Vibrators are for single ladies.
Fact: While I can totally envision an awesome ad for the latest and greatest vibrator choreographed to Beyonce’s hit single (how cute would dancing vibrators be?), married women actually report higher rates of use than singles (60 vs. 30 percent). Given that women who use vibrators also report...
Doggy Style: 5 New Takes On An Old Position
Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?
When it comes to sex positions, the possibilities are endless! However, even the most creative among us tend to fall into a routine, so sometimes we need a little inspiration to spice things up.
If you’re in need of a bit of inspiration, check out these hot position variations to take your tried and trusted doggie style to a whole new level.
First…The Classic Doggy Style
She gets on her hands and knees and he slides in from behind. That’s it folks!
Pile High Variation
Pile pillows beneath her hips to change her pelvic angle and stimulate her G-Spot and A-Spot from behind. She can lean forward onto her elbows and arch her back to give her butt a little extra POP!
Good Doggie Variation
He takes total control and grabs her by the forearms or wrists, so that she rests on her knees, but her torso is still almost parallel to the mattress. She submits to his dominance as he thrusts and rocks in perfect...
Is Shopping Together Good For Your Sex Life?
Researchers claim that shopping can be just as exciting as sex, as stumbling upon a great deal causes a powerful endorphin rush that rivals sexual arousal. Seriously?
A dispassionate shopper, I am reluctant to buy the theory that that a hot deal can leave you overcome with climactic excitement. I adore my sky-high heels and appreciate their role in the bedroom, but I cannot imagine getting that worked up in the mall.
Shopping expert, Tamika Auwai of Shop Socials sees things differently and invited me to attend her sold-out event, TEN, at the Spoke Club to observe the connection between intimacy and shopping in the flesh. This cocktail-friendly experience included some of the hottest designers in Canada and I was immediately taken aback by the number of couples who attended hand-in-hand. Perhaps it was the exclusive venue or the melange of booze and design, but the event was packed and love was in the air.
Guests were eager to explain the connection between shopping and intimacy and...
3 Ways To Seduce Your Woman
What do all great lovers have in common? They are masters of seduction and they know it. Confidence may be key to seducing your lover, but you can also pick up a few tips and tricks along the way to keep her coming back for more. Try out these seduction approaches and let us know how it goes!
Compliment Her
You want to have sex with her, right? Then tell her! Let her know that she is the object of your desire and ply her with compliments. Telling her that she looks good won’t suffice. You need to seduce her by describing in detail everything you like about her. Think about all five senses and compliment glow of her skin, the scent of her hair, the taste of her lips, the beauty of her curves and the sweet sound of her breath. Be an animal and let her know just how badly you want to get between her legs…and cater to her every need.
Be Aggressive
Sometimes a poke in the backside or a half-hearted “Wanna do it?” just won’t...
The Best Hand-Job Tip Ever
Last weekend, I had the pleasure of exhibiting and speaking at The Everything To Do With Sex Show in Toronto. Over 45 000 guests passed through the doors of this action-packed trade show and more than 5000 singles and couples attended my seminars on oral sex. I could not believe the turnout! Apparently fellatio and cunnilingus are hot topics and people arrived in droves to learn the “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Vagina” and “The Goddess” techniques alongside a few hundred of their closest acquaintances. It was quite the rush to stand on the stage in front of such a large crowd of eager and enthusiastic students. Now, it is my pleasure to share my favourite money-move with you, my loyal readers.
The Goddess hand-job technique is a sure-fire way to finish him off and leave him aching for more of you, you and only you! It’s super easy and can be adapted to suit a range of positions of scenarios. Try it out tonight and let me know how it goes:
...
How To Talk Dirty: Part 2
Continued from Part 1...
If you want to take it up a notch, consider telling your partners about the fantasies you have that include them. Tell them that you thought of them earlier in the day and started aching to feel their touch or tell them that you saw someone else checking them out and it turned you on. You might tell them that you were watching them work, bend over or get undressed and it made you tingle in all the right places.
Be honest with regard to your fantasies and remember that fantasies do not need to become reality. Just because you are willing to talk about filming your sexual escapades because it turns you on while you are having sex does not mean that you need to pursue this fantasy in real life. If you find that you are turned on by talking about a fantasy, but draw the line at talk alone, make this clear in advance. It is important to set boundaries before sex play and debrief after sex to discuss how you feel about the things that were said.
Other...
Single Women And The Absence Of Contraceptives
Even in today’s society, with all of its medical and scientific advancements, many women still fail to use contraception. The use of contraception can help reduce the risk of STD/STIs and prevent many unwanted pregnancies, yet it falls by the wayside for many women. There are many factors that go into a woman’s decision on why she chooses not to use a form of contraception.
Many women’s religious beliefs forbid the use of contraception. They are told that sexual intercourse is only for the production of children, therefore they do not need to use methods against childbirth. They are however permitted to use the “rhythm method” or cycle beads. These forms rely on counting days or beads to determine fertile days. These methods are highly unreliable because women’s cycles change and are not the same amount of days each month.
There can also be societal factors that would make them uncomfortable talking, let alone, seeking out,...
How to Get What You Want
“I’ll never have a sexual life like other women.”
“I’m too wounded to have a good sexual life or relationship.”
“It’s just not in the cards for me.”
“Everyone else is fixable—but me.”
“My perfect relationship just doesn’t exist.”
I hear these things all the time from people—women, especially. People often go to a place of disbelief about having what they really desire because on some level it’s safer to believe they just can’t have it. If they just accept that they can’t really have what they want, they don’t have to do anything different, challenge themselves anew and risk the possibility of it being true. So they just decide it’s inevitable.
It’s only true if you believe it to be.
You create your life, every minute of every day.
This scarcity belief is a way to protect the self from further hurt and it keeps you small. If this sounds like you or...
