How To Talk Dirty: Part 2

Continued from Part 1...

If you want to take it up a notch, consider telling your partners about the fantasies you have that include them. Tell them that you thought of them earlier in the day and started aching to feel their touch or tell them that you saw someone else checking them out and it turned you on. You might tell them that you were watching them work, bend over or get undressed and it made you tingle in all the right places.

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Be honest with regard to your fantasies and remember that fantasies do not need to become reality. Just because you are willing to talk about filming your sexual escapades because it turns you on while you are having sex does not mean that you need to pursue this fantasy in real life. If you find that you are turned on by talking about a fantasy, but draw the line at talk alone, make this clear in advance. It is important to set boundaries before sex play and debrief after sex to discuss how you feel about the things that were said.

Other phrases you might consider whispering, groaning or screaming during sex include: “I want it in my mouth.” “Nibble on me a little.” “Let’s watch ourselves in the mirror.” “I’m coming (again)!” “I want more!” “I love the way that sounds/tastes/smells/feels.” “You’re making me dizzy.” “I would pay for this!”

Let me reiterate the importance of honesty in great sex. Sexy talk will be much hotter if you mean what you say, as your partner will sense the full intensity of your genuine desire and enjoyment. Again, as adults we can differentiate between fantasy and reality, so a willingness to talk about a sex act and enjoy the dialogue does not imply that you actually want to engage in the act itself. Simply put, be honest about what turns you on and acknowledge your limitations.

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Start slowly, have fun and remember that it is okay to giggle a little. Obviously you do not want to laugh at your partner, but sex is supposed to be fun and a sense of humour can carry you a long way. If you feel silly at first, you can practice on your own to get used to saying all the fun sex and swear words that you do not get to use on a regular basis.

If you are going to continue to expand your dirty talk repertoire, chat with your partner ahead of time about topics, fantasies or words that are off-limits. Each person has his/her own unique set of limitations and sensitivities and these can change over time, so it is a good idea to revisit your ground rules periodically.

Here are some lines you can use tonight!