Over the years, I’ve written a great deal about dirty talk. From general guidelines to hot phrases you can use to rile your lover up, dirty talk is one of my favourite topics to cover...and put into practice.
In several of my workshops (including Steamy Sex for Couples and Rock his/her World) I ask participants to share what they want to hear in bed via secret ballot. Each person writes down a few things they’d like their lover to say in the heat of the moment and we read them aloud as a group without identifying the source.
The following is an unscientific summary of the most popular lines I’ve collected from thousands of workshop participants.
What men say they want to hear:
“I’m coming!” This line comes up multiple times in every workshop without exception.
“Your penis/cock/dick/wiener is so big.” Yes -- someone actually wrote “wiener”.
“You make me so wet.” More on this here
“You’re the best...
In my last post, we covered the basics of dirty talk and they are well worth reviewing if you missed them. As promised, I’ve listed some specific dirty talk lines you can use to woo, taunt, tease or tantalize your sweetie without feeling embarrassed or tongue-tied.
Romantic and Sweet:
•You’re everything I’ve ever dreamed of.
•I can’t imagine making love to anyone else.
•You’re my dream guy.
•I never want any other c*ck inside of me.
Alluring and Teasing:
•I know you want what’s under this shirt.
•Want to come play with me?
•Make my thighs wet!
•I’ll do whatever you tell me to do.
Aggressive:
•I’m going to hold you down and make you come.
•Can you handle what I’m about to do?
Responsive:
•Tell me how you like it.
•What can I do for you?
•I’m just going to lay back and let you work me over.
Ego Stroking:
•You’re the best I’ve ever had.
•You make me so...
Of all the workshops I teach, Dirty Talk, is among my favourites! I promise clients that if they learn to talk dirty, they can be the laziest lovers and still blow their partners’ minds. This is because dirty talk is all about learning to tap into your most intense fantasies and bring them to life in words. And since fantasy is often hotter than reality, crawling into your partner’s dirty mind is the key to a long-lasting and fulfilling sexual relationship.
Many people learn to talk dirty from porn, but this leaves them with a limited repertoire that excludes the personal element of sexy talk. Moreover, dirty talk doesn’t have to be rough, hardcore or even sexual to be erotic. The most enticing bedroom chatter can be romantic, teasing, alluring, demanding, submissive, naughty and fantastical.
Follow these guidelines to get started and be sure to check back next week for some explicit one-liners you can use to develop your dirty talk arsenal:
The first...
Continued from Part 1...
If you want to take it up a notch, consider telling your partners about the fantasies you have that include them. Tell them that you thought of them earlier in the day and started aching to feel their touch or tell them that you saw someone else checking them out and it turned you on. You might tell them that you were watching them work, bend over or get undressed and it made you tingle in all the right places.
Be honest with regard to your fantasies and remember that fantasies do not need to become reality. Just because you are willing to talk about filming your sexual escapades because it turns you on while you are having sex does not mean that you need to pursue this fantasy in real life. If you find that you are turned on by talking about a fantasy, but draw the line at talk alone, make this clear in advance. It is important to set boundaries before sex play and debrief after sex to discuss how you feel about the things that were said.
Other...
Continued from the previous post...
Feel out their responses to understand their mental trigger points and build on them. If your partner loves to hear about sex in exotic/public places, keep changing the scenarios to add variety. Tie in real-life elements (sex in the workplace or in the car) to make it seem attainable and further entrench their interest. And if your fantasies are highly divergent (they like sex in public places and you just love the chill of handcuffs) combine your fantasies to create a new script (sex in the park with the pigeons watching while you’re tied up to the bench). Talking about or envisioning an ultimate scenario, partner, body part or other fantasy object right before climax can enhance your body’s response and intensify your orgasmic experience.
And don’t worry about stretching the truth a little. In a committed relationship with open communication, telling your partner that you’d love to see...
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