I'm sure most women find it frustrating that female masturbation does not share the same level of open discussion as male masturbation. Luckily, there are some who are fighting for the cause!

Tokyo, Japan has opened bar Love Joule, which acts as a safe space for women to gather, have a few drinks and openly discuss masturbation with one another. Behind the bar is not a vast display liquor, but a colourful array of vibrators.

Love Joule attempts to blast the stigma of female masturbation, which unfortunately remains a taboo subject. This bar is a female-only space, allowing men to enter only when accompanied by a woman. Patrons of the bar appreciate the safe environment created to allow women to get together and discuss sex and masturbation, without prying eyes and ears.

The bar is a huge hit, with an already expanding clientele. Love Joule is a step in the right direction toward diminishing the unnecessary stigma that surrounds the topic of female masturbation.

To...

I made my students repeat aloud “Sex is a skill,” as I was beginning the sexuality module in my college courses last week, their collective voices paired with open and uncomfortable grins.

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I am always amazed at how many people do not realize that yes, SEX REQUIRES SKILL! It does not come naturally. Nothing does, except maybe breathing. When we come into this world, we don’t know how to do anything—not even eat. That’s why there are so many breast-feeding consultants. Babies need to learn how to take their mothers’ breast into their mouths and suckle, and new moms need to learn how to teach them!
When we are born, we don’t know how to drive a car, play Frisbee or soccer, cook a turkey, or dress ourselves with style. All of these things must be learned. And so must sex.

Yet we have all these romantic notions that somehow sex is just natural, it “just happens” and, it’s perfect with “the one” you love,...

Sex is a vital component of a healthy relationship. Aside from the (hopefully) mutual enjoyment it provides, sex also releases a flood of powerful neurochemicals that cause you to feel closer to your partner. Great sex can relieve stress, break tension, and facilitate recovery after a big fight.
It’s easy to have frequent, passionate sex early on, but what about when sex dries up a bit as the relationship becomes long term?

Running errands, catching up on work, and other activities that are part of the daily grind can interfere with time normally reserved for romance. This often leaves women feeling neglected and men feeling sexually frustrated, although these feelings are by no means gender exclusive.

I frequently receive emails from guys who can’t explain the sexual slump they’re in. Women reach out and tell me they don’t quite know why, but they don’t feel the same passion, the same spark they used to feel.

It boils down to a case of he-says-she-says....

Continued from Part 1 here...

Closed-Ended Questions

All of us would have inadvertently said something to hurt someone. Hence, when you try to get sexual feedback from your partner, their own fears of hurting you will come into play. They are not just worried of potentially hurting you, but also have a disbelief that you are genuinely willing and open to hear from them. It will take a while before your partner will begin to talk more openly about their sexual experiences.

If you have limited success with open-ended questions, don’t give up. This is where you move onto closed-ended questions such as:

“Did you notice when I did…..?” (Yes or No)

“Did you like it when I did it?” (If your partner does not remember, you could imitate what you did previously.)

“Was your orgasm the same, less or more intense than the last time?” (There is only one answer.)

This is where you can encourage further dialogue by reverting to a few open-ended...

In previous pieces, I have covered how sex is not a one-way experience (in ‘Don’t Lie Back and Think of England’), as well as how sex can be like an elephant in the bedroom when it comes to communicating any problems that might be occurring. This week, I would like to suggest ways in which we can get feedback from our partner after a sexual experience. And when I say sexual experience, I am not limiting it to just penetrative sex.

Open-Ended Questions

You can begin asking your partner what the sexual experience was like:

“Sweetheart, how was it for you?” or “How was it just now?”

If feedback is restricted to one-word answers or not forthcoming, you can elaborate by saying: “Ok… You know, I would really like to hear what you like about it and what would make it better. Could you share more with me?”

An open-ended question allows for your partner to communicate as little or as much as desired.

Breaking the questions down...

Instead of comparing ourselves to porn stars (actors) and fictional characters, a little re-education is all we need to feel more empowered and have better sex. Read on as we dispel some of the top myths about the female orgasm.

The female orgasm is a wondrous thing, but when it comes to understanding the phenomenon, misinformation abounds. From the exaggerated displays in mainstream porn to the sure-fire simultaneous and almost non-stop orgasms of Fifty Shades of Grey, it’s no surprise that confusion and feelings of inadequacy have become the norm.

Instead of comparing ourselves to porn stars (actors) and fictional characters, a little re-education is all we need to feel more empowered and have better sex. Read on as we dispel some of the top myths about the female orgasm.

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Myth: The louder the screams, the bigger the orgasm.

Thanks to the fact that most of us learn what sex looks and sounds like through porn, we are misled into believing that earth-shattering...

The Partner Interview

I love my job! As a sexologist, I work with thousands of clients each year to support them in building happy, healthy relationships and sex lives.

One of the best parts of my work involves facilitating workshops for couples. From the chilly Great White North to the sunny shores of the Caribbean, I teach classes on everything from sexual communication and trust to kink and sexual technique. Since the most rewarding part of running workshops is the feedback I receive from clients, I thought I’d share an exercise that always receives rave reviews: The Partner Interview.

This exercise involves a very simple set of questions that you take turn answering with your lover. Here are just a few reasons why my clients and I love it:

1.You can repeat it every few months and learn something new every time.

2.It opens up new conversations.

3.You can add your own questions to suit your personal needs.

4.Even if you don’t use all the information right away,...

New relationship sex and sex-on-the-fly may burn up your sheets, but as routine and increased comfort levels settle in it can be hard to keep things hot in the bedroom. What’s a frisky girl to do? Try out these strategies to reignite your sex life and feel free to share your own.

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One easy way to keep sex hot and keep your partner guessing is to initiate sex in unexpected locations. Leave the boring old bedroom behind and surprise your partner at work, in the shower, at the theatre, in the car, at the dinner table or in the kitchen. Obviously take the necessary safety precautions, think beyond intercourse and be aware of the laws in your area. Nothing turns a sweet sex session sour faster than a visit from the local authorities or a trip to the emergency room – trust me on this one.

Another simple way to make relationship sex hotter is to play with your timing. Instead of having sex right before you nod off to sleep, try it out in the morning or afternoon....

Apparently, G is for more than just the G-Spot. I had difficulty choosing from all the awesome options once again, but here is a sampling:

Gamaphobia: An irrational or exaggerated fear of marriage.

Genuphallation: Sex in which the penis is inserted and stimulated between a partner’s knees. Use lube for this one — unless you like chafed knees.

GFE: Acronym for the Girlfriend Experience which refers to a type of service offered by female sex workers. The exact description will vary from person to person, but it often involves interacting with the client as a girlfriend would and may include a range of interactive activities beyond sex.

Glory Hole: A hole in a wall between rooms or bathroom stalls into which a penis (or other object) can be inserted for manual, oral or other sexual stimulation. Make sure there are no rough edges around the hole! If you’re nervous about putting your hose in the hole, you can always sit back and watch. But be...

Oh, the lovely letter F. It really is quite a mouthful. There are so many great words to choose from, but here is a little sampling…

Fisting refers to inserting a very – and I mean very well-lubricated hand into the vagina or anus. If you want to work toward fisting, be sure to proceed very gradually beginning with a small finger and then adding a few more. Be sure to trim your nails and remove all jewellery. Whether you’re fisting a vagina or an anus, communication is of utmost importance to ensure that both you and your partner are comfortable proceeding. It may be most comfortable for the fistee to lie on his/her back with the knees bent and legs spread. The fister should gradually insert more lubricated fingers with the palm facing upward toward the belly. Once all four fingers are inserted as far as the second set of knuckles, the thumb can be tucked into the palm so that the hand forms a beak-like shape. Continue progressing gradually...