That Depends On Your Definition of Cheating.

What is cheating? Does a kiss, a long glance, a casual screw, an online romance or a secret emotional connection constitute relationship infidelity? As a culture that celebrates diversity, it is important to remember that relationships come in all shapes and sizes. Accordingly, there is no determinate set of acts or behaviours can be universally considered cheating. Some people are open to (even welcoming of) friendly flirting, intimate friendships and casual threesomes, while others cringe at the thought of sharing their partners.

There is no perfect fit for relationships. Serial monogamy, polyamory, open relationship triads, swinging and a range of other options are all legitimate and potentially challenging arrangements. Proponents of monogamy may claim that their relationship provides more intense intimacy and companionship, while polyamorists may view monogamy as a limiting form of possession.

It is easy to be critical or...

Steven Soderbergh's The Girlfriend Experience Is All Business

Sex is a commodity. It can be bought and sold like any other product and is subject to the complexities and volatilities of the free market economy. Steven Soderbergh's The Girlfriend Experience, explores the obvious relationship between sex and economic trade through a glimpse into a few days in the life of Chelsea, a high-end New York call girl.

Chelsea (played by porn-star Sasha Grey) is an independent businesswoman for whom sex is only one element of her trade. Though she does exchange sex for money, she spends the better part of her time branding herself with designer fashions, marketing her website with search-engine optimization, documenting her transactions and managing her finances according to the advice of her more connected clientele.

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Those who know little about sex work often accuse workers of selling their bodies -- Chelsea sells an experience. Transactions with...

Vulva, vulva, vulva. Say it with pride if you have one or love one. Unlike the oh-so-popular vagina, with its many euphemisms à la va-jay-jay and other less-respectful terms, the vulva has not yet been put through the linguistic, misogynist ringer.

This lesser-known, but remarkably important region, is inaccurately used synonymously with the vagina. I'd like to officially clear things up:

The vagina is the interior space beginning at the entrance of the vagina and ending at the cervix (the entrance to the uterus). It is a muscular structure that can sometimes be difficult to locate for young women, as it is a potential space as opposed to a wide-open hole. The walls of the vagina generally touch in a relaxed state and during arousal, this elastic tube-like structure can expand to accommodate an inserted object. The vagina is composed of expandable tissue and functions as a passageway for childbirth, provides a barrier against harmful bacteria...

Young men in Britain will now be able to pick up free condoms at barber shops and football fields as part of an initiative to reduce teen pregnancy and the spread of sexually transmitted infections. After attending an educational session on safer sex, they will receive plastic cards that can be used to collect condoms at convenient locations in which they already congregate like football fields and barber shops.

What a great initiative to get young men involved in both contraception and safer sex!

At a recent conference on HIV/Aids, researcher Dr. David Este reported on the benefits of HIV education programs that are accessible through previously-established community gathering places like salons and barber shops. While sexual health clinics are essential to promoting healthy sexuality, they can be intimidating (particularly for young men) and may not always be easily accessed due to location and limited hours of operation. Making condoms available in places that youth already...

Sex is a process. It's a beautiful, fun and wonderfully messy process that involves several stages of arousal and response. Orgasm (alongside desire, excitement, plateau, and resolution) is just one stage of sexual response, but it tends to get the most attention. Though orgasms can be great (sometimes better than great), they aren't always earth-shattering and shouldn't be universally regarded as the main event.

Sex is often reduced to orgasm alone and this can put undue performance pressure on both women and men. While I'm an avid fan of performance when it comes to sex, pressure should never be a part of the equation. Our nervous systems don't respond naturally or optimally when we're put under pressure and this lessens our ability to experience pleasure. Our sexual response cycle, which includes blood circulation, erection, lubrication and muscle relaxation, is also negatively impacted. I'm not suggesting we forget about orgasms all together, but simply that we focus on other...

I hear about this concern from both men and women: "It takes her forever to come!"

A well-intentioned male client recently complained to me that despite forty or fifty minutes of hard penile thrusting (ouch!), his wife struggles to reach orgasm. Another friend mentioned that she used to reach orgasm so quickly with her super-hot partner, but lately is taking longer to reach her Niagara Falls-like moment of bliss. Neither of these situations is uncommon.

Lots of women require relaxed, prolonged and varied stimulation to get to the point of no return. And vaginal stimulation is often not enough. Do not be mistaken -- there are also women who reach orgasm in a matter of seconds - some without any genital stimulation at all, and they're the ones wishing their partners would hurry up already. But there seems to be undue pressure on women to reach the heights of ecstasy within a short period of time.

Ladies: whatever your ambitions (faster orgasms, more intense orgasms, multiple orgasms),...

If orgasms are something you enjoy experiencing and would like to experiment with ways to intensify, increase or accelerate sexual response, consider the following:

1. Spend more time on foreplay (vulva kissing, breast caress, erotic massage, sexy talk, etc.) so that you're already at the third stage of sexual response (Plateau) before you engage in the main event (however you choose to define it).

2. Penile-vaginal penetration alone is not usually enough; if you really want to stick with this one activity, consider rubbing your clitoral glans and hood against your partner's pelvic bone as you thrust away. This may be facilitated by closing your legs tightly between your partner's so that you squeeze his shaft against your clitoral glans.

3. Try using your hands to play with the clitoral hood or glans while engaging in other sexual activities (intercourse, oral sex, etc.); you can pull up and down on the hood by manipulating the skin on the pubic mound.

4. Consider playing with...

This is the workshop for which I received the most thanks from the female attendees. Going down on a woman can be a wonderful source of pleasure for all parties involved and we can all use a few suggestions to improve our repertoire. I list a few tidbits below and welcome your recommendations and feedback.

General Suggestions:

• Communication is of utmost importance for mutual enjoyment. Ask your partner what she likes and welcome her reactions.
• A good partner is eager to offer constructive feedback and show appreciation for her partner's efforts.
• Safer sex practices for cunnilingus involve the use of barrier methods such as dental dams.
• For increased sensation and pleasure, apply a water-based lubricant to both sides of the dental dam.
• Consider pleasuring and teasing her entire body before proceeding to her vulva. 

Grooving:

• Gently run your tongue between the grooves of her outer and inner labia.
• Alternate your breathing patterns to stimulate her...

Continued from the previous post...

Feel out their responses to understand their mental trigger points and build on them. If your partner loves to hear about sex in exotic/public places, keep changing the scenarios to add variety. Tie in real-life elements (sex in the workplace or in the car) to make it seem attainable and further entrench their interest. And if your fantasies are highly divergent (they like sex in public places and you just love the chill of handcuffs) combine your fantasies to create a new script (sex in the park with the pigeons watching while you’re tied up to the bench). Talking about or envisioning an ultimate scenario, partner, body part or other fantasy object right before climax can enhance your body’s response and intensify your orgasmic experience.

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And don’t worry about stretching the truth a little. In a committed relationship with open communication, telling your partner that you’d love to see...

A mind is a terrible thing to waste – especially when it comes to sex. The brain is not usually what comes to mind when we think about sex organs, but it has the potential to be our most powerful tool for accessing mind-blowing sex.

From a physiological standpoint, the mind controls our sexual response through its interplay with and interpretation of the autonomic nervous system. This system controls involuntary sexual responses and induces relaxation and arousal. But enough about the science of it…

Our minds allow us to fantasize about anything – even the impossible or seemingly unattainable. And fantasies are healthy and normal. A good fantasy can be better than physical sex because we’re in control of every last detail and can force events to play out perfectly to our liking. Unlike physical sex, which can be interrupted by a phone call, kids, parents or the Avon lady calling, fantasy sex occurs within the vacuum of the mind. We choose...