The Female Orgasm: What's Taking So Long?

I hear about this concern from both men and women: "It takes her forever to come!"

A well-intentioned male client recently complained to me that despite forty or fifty minutes of hard penile thrusting (ouch!), his wife struggles to reach orgasm. Another friend mentioned that she used to reach orgasm so quickly with her super-hot partner, but lately is taking longer to reach her Niagara Falls-like moment of bliss. Neither of these situations is uncommon.

Lots of women require relaxed, prolonged and varied stimulation to get to the point of no return. And vaginal stimulation is often not enough. Do not be mistaken -- there are also women who reach orgasm in a matter of seconds - some without any genital stimulation at all, and they're the ones wishing their partners would hurry up already. But there seems to be undue pressure on women to reach the heights of ecstasy within a short period of time.

Ladies: whatever your ambitions (faster orgasms, more intense orgasms, multiple orgasms), please make them your own and focus on your own pleasure - not on performance. Just like a tasty recipe of double-chocolate, butterscotch liqueur bars can sometimes produce a less-than-perfect, still-delicious batch, we don't have earth-shattering orgasms each and every time. Our orgasms are not porn-gasms for the purposes of male arousal; they are our-gasms and we define the ways in which we love, experience and relish in them.

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