Love Your Body! - Part 2

Continued from Part 1 here...

3. Minimize Negative Triggers

We all have our ups and downs and it would be futile to attempt to eliminate all sources of negativity. However we can minimize exposure to unnecessary triggers that tend to promote a less than positive attitude toward our bodies.

If certain social circles, individuals, television shows or even social media updates leave you feeling inadequate, you may want to reframe or reconsider how often you embrace these connections. Surrounding yourself with people who focus on their positive attributes while acknowledging that their body is only one component of their whole selves will help you to do the same. 

4. Accept a Little Jealousy!

In our culture, we tend to view jealousy as unconditionally negative. It is often dismissed as a sign of weakness or low self-esteem when this is not always the case. In fact, we all experience some feelings of jealousy and since it is
difficult (near-impossible) to directly control our ...

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Love Your Body! - Part 1

Tips for feeling better about your body after cancer:

Feeling great about our bodies is no easy task and negative perceptions of the way we look run rampant among all women. Add the side-effects of chemo, radiation, surgeries, drugs and medical probing into the mix and it’s no surprise that most women diagnosed with cancer also struggle to love and embrace their bodies.

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But body image is less about the way you look and more about the way you feel about your body. It is a core component of self-worth and impacts the ways in which we relate to ourselves and others. It is also key to sexual functioning and positive body image is  positively correlated with levels of desire, orgasm and sexual satisfaction.

An overwhelming number of women living with cancer diagnoses report a decline in sexual desire and many connect body image issues with this side effect. And while sex may be the farthest thing from your mind during treatment and recovery, feeling as comfortable and...

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You Don't Have to Want Sex!

Sex is Healthy. But it's also healthy to not experience sexual attraction.

In my business, we talk a lot about being sex-positive. This means that we see sex as a natural, healthy part of human life and that we're open to a range of interests, tastes, desires, and behaviours. We try not to judge others based on their unique sexual inclinations and we believe in sexual rights -- including the right to accurate information, the right to engage in consensual activities and the right to enjoy sexual fantasies.

But this doesn't mean that we believe that people ought to engage in sexual activities or that they must have sexual fantasies if these things don't seem desirable or even natural. Each person's interest in sex varies over time with age, lifestyle, health, stress, partners, peers and a confluence of other factors. And some people do not experience sexual attraction at all -- some research suggests that approximately one percent of the population is asexual. But what...

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Boobies 101

Breasts! They are often at the forefront of sex play and are lovely, beautiful parts of the female body.

We hear a lot about breast health and the importance of checking them regularly as part of the breast cancer screening process and this message is of paramount importance, so please do be sure to check your breasts.

There is, however, a lot more to our mammary glands than health and cancer prevention alone. Here are a few fun breast facts:

• Size doesn’t matter when it comes to sexual pleasure. Breasts come in a wide variety of shapes, sizes, colours and even textures and while women’s breasts seem to be growing (likely due to body weight increases), breast size does not impact a woman’s experience of physical pleasure. One factor that does seem to influence sensitivity and pleasure is the menstrual cycle and fluctuating hormone levels with many women reporting greater sensitivity during ovulation and less sensitivity during the first two...

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M is for Mastilagnia, Mechanophilia, Milking the Prostate, Mooseknuckles and Muff Diving

Mastilagnia refers to deriving sexual pleasure from whipping or being whipped.

Mechanophilia describes sexual attraction to machines including trains, bicycles, planes and other mechanical devices. If machines turn you on, you might want to check out this very lifelike robot girlfriend who offers both conversation and sex!

Milking the Prostate refers to the process of stimulating the male prostate gland with a finger or other object inserted through the anus. The term “milking” often describes a prostate massage that culminates in ejaculation.

Muff Diving is slang for cunnilingus or going down on a woman. Looking for a few tips on muff diving? Click here!

Mooseknuckles is a term used to describe the outline of the male genitals revealed through tight pants, shorts or other clothing.

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How Long Should You Wait To Have Sex?

How do you know if you're ready?

The only person who can really provide an answer is you. If you feel ready, willing and prepared and have taken some time to consider how you feel, then you may very well be ready. If you feel unsure of your preparedness, then you should probably wait until you feel more comfortable.

I wish I could tell you that 5.6 dates means that you're ready to hop in the sack, but the reality is that every person and every situation is unique. It shouldn't matter what everyone else is doing (forget about that so-called third date rule), because your body is your own and you have to choose to do (or not do) as you feel fit.

As a sexologist, I advocate for sexual rights, health, education and pleasure. I also provide education to reduce the potential risks associated with sex and embracing a sex-positive approach. This in no way means that I think all sex is wonderful. I also don't believe that people need to make sex a greater priority unless they want...

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The Good Sex Diet

Real Aphrodisiacs

Combining food and sex really is the ultimate indulgence. Just ask George Costanza. And if a pastrami on rye sandwich isn't exactly what you have in mind when it comes to sensual eating, a new study may offer some tips on how to add a little sugar and spice to your sex life.

A Canadian review of 150 international studies found that saffron, the world's most expensive spice, has been shown to enhance sexual performance and satisfaction. Maybe this is why saffron couscous is so tasty! Panax ginseng (or Korean ginseng) may also offer sex benefits by improving erectile functioning in men and arousal frequency in women.

Other spice rack staples like cloves, sage and nutmeg may also enhance sexual stimulation. And though the lab experiments with these threespices with rats have yet to be replicated in humans, I'm now beginning to understand why my local grocery stores always seem to be sold out of sage...and apple pie.

For an oral approach to boosting your libido, you...

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L is for Limerence

Limerence is a term used to describe that period of hot longing and lustful infatuation that we feel when we first connect with someone and begin to fall in love. That sexy spark and constant (almost obsessive) passion is enough to make us look past our partner’s flaws and see nothing but perfection. Yes. We are blinded by love.

Just writing this description makes my heart race a little bit and I need a moment to breathe a big slow exhale right now. If you’re a true romantic or have ever experienced the euphoria of falling in love, you probably know what I’m talking about.

If you’ve ever been in love, you have likely also experienced the decline of limerence or the perception of falling out of love, as limerence can be short-lived. While love can last a lifetime, the thrill of falling in love and the passion of a new romance fades over time, which is why so many couples complain that they’ve lost that lovin’ feeling.

But have no fear, because you...

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Bring That Lovin' Feeling Back Into Your Relationship

Consider making a few resolutions to bring that feeling of limerence back into your love life. I’ve listed a few suggestions below, but be creative and realistic with your own resolutions bearing in mind that keeping it hot takes work, but the process can be as much fun as the results.

Some ideas to get you started:

1. Call for no reason. We all fall into routines and though we may take comfort in the predictability, it can become boring very quickly. Be sure to call or text your partner a few times a week just to say hi and let them know you care. And be strict with the content of these calls and texts. Don’t ask your partner to pick up milk on the way home or slip in a story about the drama of your workplace. Keep the call purely intimate — you are more than roommates or business partners, so act like it. Some possible texts might include:

  • I love you.
  • I want you.
  • I’m thinking of you.
  • I can’t wait to see you.
  • You make me happy.
  • You’re the best.
  • ...
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Do Long Distance Relationships Work?

Blow kissWhile long distance love may make for lonely nights and the need to keep a few extra batteries on hand in the nightstand, loving from a distance is a common arrangement in the modern, globalized world. As more people connect through online dating, new relationships are often separated by hundreds of miles (or more) from the onset. And though the distance may prove challenging at times, smart couples are taking advantage of all that long-distance love has to offer.

On the plus side, absence not only has the potential to make the heart grow stronger, but it can also make the libido soar. While intimacy may be cultivated through comfort and closeness, raw sexual desire is often fueled by unpredictability, risk and the unknown. So sex in long distance relationships can be very hot — as long as you don’t let a little space get in the way.

Phone sex, Skype sex (hooray for webcams) and sexting are not only the perfect foreplay to let the tension build until your next in-person...

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