Check out what Dr.Jess had to say about sexual education and culture to Haligonians here!

The following was originally published in Pink and Teal, a magazine for women living with cancer. However, there are many reasons why sex can be painful, so the advice below may be useful to all women who have experienced pain or discomfort during sexual activity.

Sex is supposed to feel good! But sometimes our bodies just don’t cooperate with our primal urges and it can be more of a pain than a pleasure. Many women suffer in silence after a cancer diagnosis and their support team (friends, family, medical professionals and partners) may discount sex as insignificant in comparison to the complex challenges of treatment and recovery. But sex, however you define it, is significant. For many people, intimacy, affection and pleasure are fundamental to quality of life.

Women diagnosed with breast or gynecological cancer may find sex painful for a number of reasons including:
•Lack of lubrication. Friction is an inherent part of sex, but without adequate lubrication, it can be...

We only have one vagina, ladies, so taking care of the one you have should be a top priority. Here are some ways you can keep your nether regions happy and healthy:

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Hair Removal

If using a razor, make sure it is clean with no rusting. Ideally, it isbe the best to use a new razor every time, but if it’s not possible please make sure it is at peak performance and the razor blades are sharp. The sharper the blade the easier the shaving process, the duller the blade the more drag occurs against the skin which causes razor burn.

This area is extremely sensitive and prone to irritation from hair removal.

When using hair removal methods such as creams or waxes make sure they are safe for use on the genital area. Some brands give you direct instructions on how to use their products on the genital area while others direct you not to use their products at all in this area. Always follow instructions and precautions because it’s better to be safe and sorry.

Eat your...

An excerpt from Dr. Jess’ best-seller, Hot Sex Tips, Tricks and Licks.

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Flirting is one of the most fundamental human behaviors and each of us is hard-wired to seduce prospective partners with flirtatious gestures and expressions. When you first meet, the flirting meter flies off the charts, but this sexy courting ritual wanes with time and can easily disappear even in loving relationships. This can be catastrophic, as evolutionary psychologists believe that flirting with your own partner is actually a genetic survival tactic. Translation? Flirting leads to more sex!

Here are a few flirting tips to take your prolonged foreplay to new heights:

Touch! Brush your hand against your lover’s thigh in non-sexual situations to make the blood rush to their pelvic region and give them a taste of what’s to come later on. This isn’t a commitment to “have sex” when you get home, but just a reminder that your attraction to them is still red-hot.

Be...

Evolutionary researchers believe that our ancestor’s hibernating patterns may be to blame for a drop in libido alongside the mercury, but that’s no reason to trade in your hot sex life for the big chill. Heat things up in (and out) of the bedroom as the temperatures drop and take your sex life to a new level before the first sign of Spring.

We’ve got a few suggestions to help ensure that your sex life is stays smokin’ hot during the Winter months:

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Boot Sex

Forget your hat! Leave your boots on…or at, least your socks. Research suggests that women are more likely to reach orgasm if their feet are warm, so a foot massage or donning a pair of thigh-high boots may just make for the perfect foreplay.

Whether you’re fresh off the slopes in clunky ski boots or straight off the runway in cozy, but sexy Sorels, stripping down to nothing but boots provides visual stimulation aplenty!

Standing 69 Sex

Why try the challenging and super hot Standing...

Sometimes you get so stuck sexually and you are so used to feeling stuck, you have no way to gauge how or why.

I see this a lot with new sex coaching clients and prospects. If a woman has gotten far enough in her process to call me, she at least has some sense that her sexuality needs attention. Sometimes that’s as much as she knows. Figuring out the way into it or how to break it down feels hard and the whole of her sexual issues becomes a series of symptoms with vague ideas of the root causes.
I recently spoke to a woman who described her sexuality as a ball with no handles that just rolls and rolls and she doesn’t know where or how to get a grip on it. I think many people feel this way about sexuality because it’s so big and so many potential issues come up that they do not know where to begin.

You can start by taking your own sexual temperature, so to speak. Look at the various key aspects of your sexuality and if you could literally take your temperature, how...

I hate putting on a bathing suit. It’s irrational, to some extent, but very real. I am not alone. I don’t know very many women – over the age of 21 anyway – who like to be seen in their bathing suits. It’s scary. It’s the most surefire way to feel badly about yourself. It’s filled with the anxiety of “stacking up,” of being “hot,” of looking how the media tells you that beautiful women look. After all, you NEVER see “normal” women in bathing suit ads, calendars, movies etc….

I’m not an all-encompassing media blamer. There’s more to it than that. We are reflective creatures. Long before we had mirrors and mass media, I’m betting that we looked to the reaction of others to know whether we were beautiful or not. And I’m betting that when someone else got all the attention, we interpreted it as a personal short coming. Even those of us who claim not to.

When my friend Suzanne...

I hate putting on a bathing suit. It’s irrational, to some extent, but very real. I am not alone. I don’t know very many women – over the age of 21 anyway – who like to be seen in their bathing suits. It’s scary. It’s the most surefire way to feel badly about yourself. It’s filled with the anxiety of “stacking up,” of being “hot,” of looking how the media tells you that beautiful women look. After all, you NEVER see “normal” women in bathing suit ads, calendars, movies etc….

I’m not an all-encompassing media blamer. There’s more to it than that. We are reflective creatures. Long before we had mirrors and mass media, I’m betting that we looked to the reaction of others to know whether we were beautiful or not. And I’m betting that when someone else got all the attention, we interpreted it as a personal short coming. Even those of us who claim not to.

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When my friend...

You may already be a seasoned pro between the sheets, but even an old dog can learn a few new tricks. After all, I’ve been studying human sexuality (formally) for the past twelve years and I learn something new each and every day. Lucky me!

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It is my pleasure to share one of my favourite moves, the Pinch N Groove, which receives rave reviews from my clients across the globe…

Begin by riling her up with the Pussy Pocket. This easy move is a great warm-up technique, but it can also be used to take her over the edge as you increase the speed, pressure and grinding. Simply cup your warm hand over her Venus mound pressing your palm against her mound and curling your fingers down over her vulva. Press your fingers against her gradually increasing the intensity by pulsing, rubbing and undulating your entire hand over her most sensitive region.

Once her hips start to thrust and her breath rate increases, have her lean back against the headboard with her legs...

Often times, clients come to me (particularly moms) without any ability to connect with their lower abdominals. When an area of our body feels dormant or hard to connect with, this can sometimes mean that that corresponding chakra needs some energy brought into the area. The sacral chakra is about feeling and sexuality and is located right around the lower abs. Visit this site to read more.

Any exercise that helps stimulate the lower abs can be a great way to bring your sexuality back to life and bring new energy into the area, clearing out stagnation.

There are some go to exercises I love for getting these muscle fibres more alive.

To get your started, I'm going to suggest the towel squeeze tail bone lift exercise. Many people who haven't been able to fire these lower tummy muscle fibres find this fool proof! I've had people swear they haven't been able to feel this area work in any exercises or with lots of coaching in the past and finally feel their lower tummies alive again.

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