This post is intended for readers over the age of 18.

Hand jobs are not just for teenagers. Though I've written about the art of sensuous touch in the past, each time I visit Desire Resort and Spa, I pick up a few new tricks from the very adventurous and experienced couples who attend my workshops. I thought I'd post a few thoughts on how to make the most of lending a hand in the bedroom, at the theatre or under the restaurant table. (Please abide by local laws.)

As always, I'll preface this post by reminding readers that every guy is different (even if they all seem the same), so there are no sure-fire ways to bring him to the heights ecstasy. All I can offer are a few techniques to get you started. You can practice on a carrot or other vegetable, but don't get too hung up on technique. I always tell my workshops participants to do what feels good for them as opposed to focusing on my instructions. If you "screw up" and twist to the left instead of the right, don't worry about it...

Continued from Part I

I describe some starter techniques below, but you can play with them to make them your own:

The Firestarter

Lube up both palms and gently rub them over the shaft of the penis as though you are warming your hands over the fire. Lube is essential to this technique, so be generous in your application. Breathe gently on his lubricated shaft to produce a tingling sensation.

via GIPHY

The Basic Grip

Use your non-dominant hand to grip the base of the penis by forming a tight okay sign using your index finger and thumb. This can function like a cock ring to trap blood in the penis and intensify sensation. Use the other lubricated hand to stroke up and down the shaft and apply pressure to the ridge and the frenulum.

via GIPHY

The Other Woman

This is the backhand grip. Turn your dominant hand upside down as though you are signalling a thumbs-down sign. Stroke up and down the shaft to offer a varied sensation from the traditional grip.

via GIPHY

The Multi-Tasker

Use...

Clients are often looking for sure-fire ways to bring their partners to mind-blowing, earth-shattering orgasms. And though a quick survey of women's and men's magazine covers may suggest otherwise, there are no guaranteed tricks that will work each and every time for each and every person.

Each person's body is unique and our erogenous zones vary not only from person to person but from day to day. What works on Monday afternoon in the backseat of your car may do nothing for you on a Saturday night after enjoying a bottle of wine in front of a flickering fireplace. And it goes without saying that while one partner may scream with joy at nice lubed finger in the bum, the same move might send another partner screaming and running for the hills.

Having said that, part of my work as a sexologist involves sharing techniques to help clients get started on their own journey of exploration and experimentation. Here are a few thoughts to inspire your own sexual voyage across the beautiful...

Research out of the UK indicates that more women are opting to use condoms as their primary method of contraception. This is great news! Not only do condoms reduce the risk of unplanned pregnancies, but they also offer significant protection against HIV and sexually transmitted infections.

But condoms are not only important in terms of safety. They also enhance pleasure! Men who wear condoms can benefit from slightly harder, larger erections. Condoms can function like a cock-ring to constrict blood and trap it inside the penile shaft and keep it firm. Accordingly, they can also help men to last longer (in an erect state) during a hot and heavy sex session, which works out well for those guys who have partners who may take longer to finish off. This also benefits men who often experience intensified orgasmic response with prolonged sex play. For those looking for a little more stimulation, you can put a bit of water-based lube in the tip of the condom to enhance sensation.

Condoms...

Women want sex. That's right. Today's empowered, educated, confident women are not afraid to embrace their love of sex. It feels great to say it and do it!

A study conducted at the University of Florida found that women and men in committed relationships reject gender stereotypes and embrace similar attitudes toward sexual pleasure.

But for those women who are in relationships with men who want it less than they do, a number of issues can arise. Some men feel emasculated or intimidated by their partners' active libidos. And women, who may have been conditioned to associate desirability and arousal with being pursued, can find that their desire wanes when their partners are less enthusiastic.

To address this challenge, both men and women need specific reassurance from their partners. This is very simple, but many people disregard the power of words. First, tell you partners how you feel! Tell them how badly you want them, how good it feels to be with them and how they make your heart...

Prolong Your Pleasure

This week, I received 3 emails asking about The Squeeze Technique, so I thought I'd post a blog for the world to enjoy! This approach to delaying orgasm for men involves a little more work than the Stop-Start Method and though some people use it to address so-called premature ejaculation, it can also be practiced by anyone who wants to gain greater ejaculatory control and intensify their orgasmic response.

The squeeze technique involves reaching a high state of pre-orgasmic arousal and squeezing the penis just below its glans/head (where it connects with the shaft) until the urge to ejaculate subsides. The man or his partner can perform the squeeze using the thumb and index finger, but he needs to be able to recognize his approaching point-of-no-return so that he can stop what he's doing ahead of time. The erection may subside creating an opportunity for more fun sex play to build it back up if desired.

This method requires practice, so it...

Stop Here for Better Orgasms

In my private practice, I receive many inquiries from men asking for advice on how to last longer in bed. And though most women I talk to aren't looking for marathon-length sessions, we do appreciate the option to take our time and enjoy the experience. Learning to control your orgasm (for both men and women) is not only empowering, but can deepen sexual and orgasmic response. This is the first in a three-part mini series on making sex last longer.

The Stop-Start Method is a simple, sensual and orgasm-intensifying approach to lasting longer in bed. It simply entails doing whatever you love to do and stopping just before the point-of-no-return (or the point of ejaculatory inevitability for men). You don't have to stop stimulating your partner or yourself, but do stop performing the particular activity that makes you feel like cumming.

For example, if you're having penetrative intercourse, pull out (or have your partner pull out) and engage in some breast...

This post is intended for those over the age of 18. If you're not yet 18, please visit Scarleteen for some great resources on sexuality.

No two bodies are the same and accordingly, no two penises, balls or prostates are identical in their sexual response. Even those who know exactly what brings them to the height of ecstasy admit that their needs change with...well, the wind. Mood, time elapsed since last sexual encounter, stress, energy levels and a host of other factors influence what feels good during oral sex for both men and women. So the techniques I outline below are merely suggestions and certainly not a recipe for the perfect blow job. Play with them, have fun and ask your partner for feedback to find out what they love and enjoy the process.

If anyone else has suggestions, please add them to the list! Here are just a few thoughts on blow jobs as a sneak peek into my workshops and video courses...

1. Consider massaging their thighs and lower...

Vulva, vulva, vulva. Say it with pride if you have one or love one. Unlike the oh-so-popular vagina, with its many euphemisms à la va-jay-jay and other less-respectful terms, the vulva has not yet been put through the linguistic, misogynist ringer.

This lesser-known, but remarkably important region, is inaccurately used synonymously with the vagina. I'd like to officially clear things up:

The vagina is the interior space beginning at the entrance of the vagina and ending at the cervix (the entrance to the uterus). It is a muscular structure that can sometimes be difficult to locate for young women, as it is a potential space as opposed to a wide-open hole. The walls of the vagina generally touch in a relaxed state and during arousal, this elastic tube-like structure can expand to accommodate an inserted object. The vagina is composed of expandable tissue and functions as a passageway for childbirth, provides a barrier against harmful bacteria...

Sex is a process. It's a beautiful, fun and wonderfully messy process that involves several stages of arousal and response. Orgasm (alongside desire, excitement, plateau, and resolution) is just one stage of sexual response, but it tends to get the most attention. Though orgasms can be great (sometimes better than great), they aren't always earth-shattering and shouldn't be universally regarded as the main event.

Sex is often reduced to orgasm alone and this can put undue performance pressure on both women and men. While I'm an avid fan of performance when it comes to sex, pressure should never be a part of the equation. Our nervous systems don't respond naturally or optimally when we're put under pressure and this lessens our ability to experience pleasure. Our sexual response cycle, which includes blood circulation, erection, lubrication and muscle relaxation, is also negatively impacted. I'm not suggesting we forget about orgasms all together, but simply that we focus on other...