Stop Here for Better Orgasms

In my private practice, I receive many inquiries from men asking for advice on how to last longer in bed. And though most women I talk to aren't looking for marathon-length sessions, we do appreciate the option to take our time and enjoy the experience. Learning to control your orgasm (for both men and women) is not only empowering, but can deepen sexual and orgasmic response. This is the first in a three-part mini series on making sex last longer.

The Stop-Start Method is a simple, sensual and orgasm-intensifying approach to lasting longer in bed. It simply entails doing whatever you love to do and stopping just before the point-of-no-return (or the point of ejaculatory inevitability for men). You don't have to stop stimulating your partner or yourself, but do stop performing the particular activity that makes you feel like cumming.

For example, if you're having penetrative intercourse, pull out (or have your partner pull out) and engage in some breast...

New research out of the UK suggests that it is not only men who stare at women’s breasts. According to a survey by cosmetic surgery company, Transform, 90 percent of women also check out one another’s bosoms several times per day.According to The Sun, men are the “worst offenders.” Of the 1000 men questioned, nearly half admitted that they notice breasts before they look at a woman’s face and 40 percent claimed they sneak a peek a breasts at least ten times per day.Though Transform’s motivation for conducting the large-scale study of 1000 men and 2000 women may seem transparent, they did find that almost half of men think their partner’s breasts are beautiful and wouldn’t want them to change them in any way. Unfortunately, women reported lower levels of breast satisfaction with over half saying they are unhappy with their own set.

Pat Dunion, a spokesman for Transform, reports, "This research is a real insight into our attitude towards...

If orgasms are something you enjoy experiencing and would like to experiment with ways to intensify, increase or accelerate sexual response, consider the following:

1. Spend more time on foreplay (vulva kissing, breast caress, erotic massage, sexy talk, etc.) so that you're already at the third stage of sexual response (Plateau) before you engage in the main event (however you choose to define it).

2. Penile-vaginal penetration alone is not usually enough; if you really want to stick with this one activity, consider rubbing your clitoral glans and hood against your partner's pelvic bone as you thrust away. This may be facilitated by closing your legs tightly between your partner's so that you squeeze his shaft against your clitoral glans.

3. Try using your hands to play with the clitoral hood or glans while engaging in other sexual activities (intercourse, oral sex, etc.); you can pull up and down on the hood by manipulating the skin on the pubic mound.

4. Consider playing with...

This was by far my favourite session at Desire and I'm happy to share an excerpt from it below. This post just addresses a few vulva caress techniques, but in the workshops we discussed and explored the female body from head to toe with many exciting stops in between.

Let's begin with the Clitoris, which is more than the myth of a "tiny pea-sized bump rich in nerve endings" as it is often described in medical and anatomical texts. It is actually a complex system of over eighteen parts that are similar to the penis. Rebecca Chalker, author of The Clitoral Truth, explains that the penis is actually derived from the female sex organs which undergo change at about eight weeks in utero. Included in this complex system are:

Glans (or head, which is often referred to as the clitoris)

Hood (which covers the glans and may provide indirect pleasurable stimulation of the glans)

Shaft (a cord-like structure beneath the hood that swells during excitement)

Bulbs (erectile tissue similar to...

This post is a continuation from here...

Let's cover a few techniques that can be used during a vulva caress. Rather than simply thrusting your finger(s) into their vagina, consider a range of activities to explore areas that have a far greater capacity for sexual pleasure than the interior vaginal walls. As with all sexual activity, it is ideal to ask for verbal permission to proceed with each new adventure.

The Lip Liner

1. Position yourself comfortably between her legs while she lays on her back.
2. Apply lots of lube to your hands. See Astroglide for tasty lube.
3. Use your lubricated index finger to slowly and gently trace a line from her belly button down against her lips and back to her anus.
4. Start with your left index finger and trace along the side of her left outer labia (lip) and back up to her belly button.
5. Use your right index finger to trace along the side of her right outer labia (lip) and then back up to her belly button.
6. Take your time and repeat brushing against her...