How To Talk Dirty: Part 1

expert advice Oct 26, 2012

Of all the workshops I teach, Dirty Talk, is among my favourites! I promise clients that if they learn to talk dirty, they can be the laziest lovers and still blow their partners’ minds. This is because dirty talk is all about learning to tap into your most intense fantasies and bring them to life in words. And since fantasy is often hotter than reality, crawling into your partner’s dirty mind is the key to a long-lasting and fulfilling sexual relationship.

Many people learn to talk dirty from porn, but this leaves them with a limited repertoire that excludes the personal element of sexy talk. Moreover, dirty talk doesn’t have to be rough, hardcore or even sexual to be erotic. The most enticing bedroom chatter can be romantic, teasing, alluring, demanding, submissive, naughty and fantastical.

Follow these guidelines to get started and be sure to check back next week for some explicit one-liners you can use to develop your dirty talk arsenal:

The first step to...

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How To Talk Dirty: Part 2

Continued from Part 1...

If you want to take it up a notch, consider telling your partners about the fantasies you have that include them. Tell them that you thought of them earlier in the day and started aching to feel their touch or tell them that you saw someone else checking them out and it turned you on. You might tell them that you were watching them work, bend over or get undressed and it made you tingle in all the right places.

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Be honest with regard to your fantasies and remember that fantasies do not need to become reality. Just because you are willing to talk about filming your sexual escapades because it turns you on while you are having sex does not mean that you need to pursue this fantasy in real life. If you find that you are turned on by talking about a fantasy, but draw the line at talk alone, make this clear in advance. It is important to set boundaries before sex play and debrief after sex to discuss how you feel about the things that were said.

Other...

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How To Talk Dirty: Part 1

Of all the workshops I teach, Dirty Talk, is among my favourites! I promise clients that if they learn to talk dirty, they can be the laziest lovers and still blow their partners’ minds. This is because dirty talk is all about learning to tap into your most intense fantasies and bring them to life in words. And since fantasy is often hotter than reality, crawling into your partner’s dirty mind is the key to a long-lasting and fulfilling sexual relationship.

via GIPHY

Many people learn to talk dirty from porn, but this leaves them with a limited repertoire that excludes the personal element of sexy talk. Moreover, dirty talk doesn’t have to be rough, hardcore or even sexual to be erotic. The most enticing bedroom chatter can be romantic, teasing, alluring, demanding, submissive, naughty and fantastical.

Follow these guidelines to get started and be sure to check back next week for some explicit one-liners you can use to develop your dirty talk arsenal:

The first...

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Single Women And The Absence Of Contraceptives

Even in today’s society, with all of its medical and scientific advancements, many women still fail to use contraception. The use of contraception can help reduce the risk of STD/STIs and prevent many unwanted pregnancies, yet it falls by the wayside for many women. There are many factors that go into a woman’s decision on why she chooses not to use a form of contraception.

via GIPHY

Many women’s religious beliefs forbid the use of contraception. They are told that sexual intercourse is only for the production of children, therefore they do not need to use methods against childbirth. They are however permitted to use the “rhythm method” or cycle beads. These forms rely on counting days or beads to determine fertile days. These methods are highly unreliable because women’s cycles change and are not the same amount of days each month.

There can also be societal factors that would make them uncomfortable talking, let alone, seeking out,...

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How To Get What You Want

expert advice Oct 18, 2012

“I’ll never have a sexual life like other women.”

“I’m too wounded to have a good sexual life or relationship.”

“It’s just not in the cards for me.”

“Everyone else is fixable—but me.”

“My perfect relationship just doesn’t exist.”

I hear these things all the time from people—women, especially. People often go to a place of disbelief about having what they really desire because on some level it’s safer to believe they just can’t have it. If they just accept that they can’t really have what they want, they don’t have to do anything different, challenge themselves anew and risk the possibility of it being true. So they just decide it’s inevitable.

It’s only true if you believe it to be.

You create your life, every minute of every day.

This scarcity belief is a way to protect the self from further hurt and it keeps you small. If this sounds like you or...

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How to Get What You Want

“I’ll never have a sexual life like other women.”

“I’m too wounded to have a good sexual life or relationship.”

“It’s just not in the cards for me.”

“Everyone else is fixable—but me.”

“My perfect relationship just doesn’t exist.”

I hear these things all the time from people—women, especially. People often go to a place of disbelief about having what they really desire because on some level it’s safer to believe they just can’t have it. If they just accept that they can’t really have what they want, they don’t have to do anything different, challenge themselves anew and risk the possibility of it being true. So they just decide it’s inevitable.

It’s only true if you believe it to be.

You create your life, every minute of every day.

This scarcity belief is a way to protect the self from further hurt and it keeps you small. If this sounds like you or...

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George Clooney: I Never Want to Get Married Again

I woke up yesterday morning to a news story  about George Clonney possibly being single and once again his beliefs on marriage came under fire. George married Talia Balsam in 1989 and they were divorced in 1993. After their split, he said he would never marry again. This is always a hot topic with media and this belief can rub people the wrong way. But here is the thing: he said he was never going to marry again -- not that he was never going to commit to someone else or be in a relationship ever again. Here is the other thing: he might also be happy the way he is. Should we be calling him a forever- playboy or perhaps acknowledging that he is brave enough to work out what he wants in life and stand up for it publicly.

We live in a society that puts so much emphasis on marriage as the ultimate happiness. But for some couples (some who have been together for quite some time), marriage can come with a lot of unwanted pressure that wreaks havoc on the relationship. If someone does...

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The New Pre-Gaming: Should You Masturbate Before a Date?

Who doesn’t get a little nervous before a first date? Hands up please. No one? Right.

Even if you are the most charismatic, confident, good-looking person out there, you may still feel a little uncertainty in your mind. Is masturbating the new pre-date activity to help alleviate those nerves? Most of us have seen that scene from There’s Something About Mary.

All joking aside, is this a viable option to cure a case of the nervies?

Can a pre-game O help keep your mind off of sex on your date? I am highly doubtful. If you are concerned with thinking about sex the entire time on your date, I don’t think masturbation will help keep you out of the mental sheets. If you are with your date and things are progressing nicely, you are attracted to them, you probably are going to think about sex. AND THAT IS OK! We are sexual beings. Your date isn’t going to be able to read your mind and as long and you don’t whip off the table cloth and take them right there on...

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The Bare Truth: Why I Don't Have Pubic Hair

When my life overwhelms me – which, as an introverted entrepreneur and mother, is often – I try to escape to the one place that I know no one will speak to me, The Korean Day Spa. I spend the entire day there, soaking, steaming, sweating, and watching the glorious variety of women move through this sacred space as the holy bodies that they are. Everyone is naked, as mandated by the spa itself. They come in all shapes, sizes, colors, styles, and when surrounded by them I truly feel as if I am part of something, some magic thing that needs no words or creed. The mere fact of our nipples and wrinkles and bulges, and the fact that we all look ridiculously bad in the little shower caps the spa makes us wear, is enough to refill my soul. If I were the platitude sort, some part of me would probably start singing, “I am woman, hear me roar,” but the rest of me would be all like “shut up, bitch,” and I would return to the silence that I so crave.

The...

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Sex Is A Skill

expert advice Oct 04, 2012

I made my students repeat aloud “Sex is a skill,” as I was beginning the sexuality module in my college courses last week, their collective voices paired with open and uncomfortable grins.

I am always amazed at how many people do not realize that yes, SEX REQUIRES SKILL! It does not come naturally. Nothing does, except maybe breathing. When we come into this world, we don’t know how to do anything—not even eat. That’s why there are so many breast-feeding consultants. Babies need to learn how to take their mothers’ breast into their mouths and suckle, and new moms need to learn how to teach them!
When we are born, we don’t know how to drive a car, play Frisbee or soccer, cook a turkey, or dress ourselves with style. All of these things must be learned. And so must sex.

Yet we have all these romantic notions that somehow sex is just natural, it “just happens” and, it’s perfect with “the one” you love, right? Gender...

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