This post is continued from a previous post here...

But does size matter? From a sexological perspective, penis size has very little impact on the sexual pleasure of the penis-bearer or his partner. For men having vaginal sex with women, the shape and size of the vagina do not require large objects of insertion for pleasure and a well placed penis, finger, dildo or other object can produce far more pleasure than an oversized rod. In a relaxed state, the vagina is a short potential space with walls that gently touch and close together and the richest nerve endings are located near the opening. The g-spot, which can produce intense response and orgasm for some women, can generally be stimulated by any object of two inches in length. However, vaginas also come in different sizes, so it may be a matter of finding the perfect fit.

More importantly, the clitoris, that wonderful pleasure organ through which most women achieve orgasm, is not located in the vagina. A penis, finger, feather,...

I don't have a penis and I've never wanted one. As a woman, I'm subject to impossible pressures with regard to my physical makeup, but I can't even begin to fathom the anxieties associated with penis size. While it may not factor heavily along the path to enlightenment and it doesn't seem to matter to most women, men are socialized to obsess about the size of their penises. Joking, bragging, worrying, strategic shaving, lying and measuring are common symptoms of this cultural fixation that reduces men to the size of their members.

Studies of men who worry that their penises are too small overwhelmingly indicate that their anxieties are unfounded. They often underestimate their own size or overestimate perceptions of normal penis size. More importantly, they miscalculate the degree to which their sexual partners desire a larger penis. Research indicates that 85 percent of women are happy with their partner's penis size in comparison to only 55 percent of men who report satisfaction...

Could you coach football without ever having seen a game?

Each time I host a workshop that addresses the expansion of sexual repertoire, I'm reminded of the fact that very few of us have had the opportunity to learn about sex through the valuable lens of observation. Sure. Many of us have glanced at (and admired) our reflections in the heat of action in an overhead ceiling mirror and we've all been exposed to a whole bunch of actors (I use this term loosely) having the sexual time of their lives, but how many have actually watched others have sex for educational or erotic purposes? Very few.

And how many people have received any formal training in how to give and receive sexual pleasure? Other cultures teach their children how to pleasure themselves and offer formal instruction to young adults in the art of loving and sexual pleasure. This may sound outlandish, but some of our common sexual practices (too much tequila and some sloppy fumbling around in the dark) aren't exactly...

Here are a few general tips from the Fun With Fellatio session below...

• Change positions often to avoid cramping, vary your angle of contact and alter sensations.
• Alternate between your hands, lips, tongue, nose, chin, chest and anything else you can think of to avoid tiring and jaw aches.
• Use lots of lube. Saliva is great, but a water-based lube can be tasty, long lasting and provide a more slippery, fun surface.
• Pay attention to the scrotum (the sac containing the testicles), perineum, thighs and anus if your partner enjoys this type of stimulation.
• Partners: offer constructive feedback and lots of appreciation to let them know that you love it; if you're uncomfortable expressing how you feel with words, consider facial expressions, gestures and sounds of pleasure.
• Safer oral sex includes the use of condoms. Practice putting it on with your lips and tongue!

The Tease

1. Use your lubricated hands, moist lips, wet tongue and/or lubricated chest to softly caress his entire body,...

This was by far my favourite session at Desire and I'm happy to share an excerpt from it below. This post just addresses a few vulva caress techniques, but in the workshops we discussed and explored the female body from head to toe with many exciting stops in between.

Let's begin with the Clitoris, which is more than the myth of a "tiny pea-sized bump rich in nerve endings" as it is often described in medical and anatomical texts. It is actually a complex system of over eighteen parts that are similar to the penis. Rebecca Chalker, author of The Clitoral Truth, explains that the penis is actually derived from the female sex organs which undergo change at about eight weeks in utero. Included in this complex system are:

Glans (or head, which is often referred to as the clitoris)

Hood (which covers the glans and may provide indirect pleasurable stimulation of the glans)

Shaft (a cord-like structure beneath the hood that swells during excitement)

Bulbs (erectile tissue similar to...

This post is a continuation from here...

Let's cover a few techniques that can be used during a vulva caress. Rather than simply thrusting your finger(s) into their vagina, consider a range of activities to explore areas that have a far greater capacity for sexual pleasure than the interior vaginal walls. As with all sexual activity, it is ideal to ask for verbal permission to proceed with each new adventure.

The Lip Liner

1. Position yourself comfortably between her legs while she lays on her back.
2. Apply lots of lube to your hands. See Astroglide for tasty lube.
3. Use your lubricated index finger to slowly and gently trace a line from her belly button down against her lips and back to her anus.
4. Start with your left index finger and trace along the side of her left outer labia (lip) and back up to her belly button.
5. Use your right index finger to trace along the side of her right outer labia (lip) and then back up to her belly button.
6. Take your time and repeat brushing against her...

As part of my initiation into the field of international sexology, I hosted the first set of human sexuality workshops at Desire Resort and Spa this month and they were a huge success. Participants were mostly couples, but a few singles attended the Hand Job session armed with a handy cucumber for practice. I had planned to provide dildos, but was warned that I may not make it through Mexican customs with 50 silicone penises. Given the red-light, green-light selection process at the Cancun airport Customs desk, I'm glad I was forewarned.

As promised, I share a few techniques from the workshop below. Bear in mind that the best sex is always subjective and these are just a few ideas to get you started...or keep you coming. Play with these a little, change their names and adapt them to suit what feels best for you.

Basic hand job tips:

1. Change positions often to avoid cramping.
2. Use lots and lots of lube. Check out www.GoodVibes.com for a yummy selection of the good stuff.
3. Apply...

This post is continued from a previous post here...

As promised, I share a few techniques from my workshop Desire Resort. Bear in mind that the best sex is always subjective and these are just a few ideas to get you started...or keep you coming. Play with these a little, change their names and adapt them to suit what feels best for you.

Possible positions:

Rear View: Kneel over his abdomen with your back toward his face

Director's Chair: Kneel between his legs as he sits upright on a chair

Easy Access: Kneel/lay between his legs as he lays on his back

Try a few of these moves and let me know what you think!

The Licking Hand:

The Licking Hand is a nice way to get started and is really simple:

1. Use a flat, super-lubricated hand to simulate a licking tongue. Consider blindfolding him and using two licking hands to simulate a fun threesome.
2. Gently lick/paint the shaft, balls, head and inner thighs.

The Grand Slam Breakfast: pancakes, syrup and freshly-squeezed OJ:

1. Apply lots of...

Cock Rings can be lots of fun for both men and women and despite their namesake, you don’t need to have penis to use them. Yay!

Cock rings are designed to be worn around the base of the penis and/or behind the scrotum (the sac containing the testicles); the pressure provided by cock rings can be pleasurable and they promote longer-lasting, harder erections. However, as they come with various attachments, they can be used for a variety of purposes.

Some rings are textured, ribbed or include a vibrating portion designed to stimulate a partner’s clitoris or prostate. These make for fun finger toys as well. Just slip them on your finger(s) and massage the vulva, anus, vagina or any other body part of your choice. If introducing the cock ring to your partner seems intimidating, you may start by using it as a finger ring first. Textured rings can make for some fancy, fingering fun!

Some cock rings are made of flexible material that can be stretched onto a hard or soft penis...