Should you fake it?

expert advice Mar 28, 2012

Should you fake orgasms?

Probably not. A one-off performance may not cause much damage, but tread lightly, as faking can easily become a bad habit.

In a perfect world, you wouldn’t need to fake orgasms for your own sake or your partner’s. However, the reality is that almost all women have put on an Oscar-worthy performance at least once.

But why do women fake orgasms? These are a few of the reasons I’ve heard:

“I just needed to get him out of there! Like ASAP.”

“He had no clue what he was doing — and he wasn’t about to figure it out in the next 20 minutes, so I ended it”

“It just makes him happy.”

“I don’t even know what an orgasm really feels like.”

“I knew it just wasn’t going to happen. Sometimes you just know.”

“I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.”

“He kept asking if I’d come yet — that gets annoying, right?”

“It was getting late...

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R is for Raphe, Retifism, Rimming & Rusty Trombone

The Raphe is the dividing line that runs all the way from the anus, across the perineum, up the scrotal sac to the very tip of the penis. Ask your partner to stand with his legs shoulder-width apart while you kneel on the floor beneath him and lick his raphe with a wide, wet tongue.

Retifism refers to sexual arousal that is derived from shoes. And since the foot is the most common fetish in North America, it’s no surprise that there are a ton of retifists in our mist. Here’s to sky-high heels in the bedroom!

Rimming involves licking, sucking and kissing around the butt-hole.

Rusty Trombone: Are you a musician at heart? Then you’ll love this one whether you’re a giver or receiver! The Rusty Trombone involves eating-out a man’s butt from behind, while reaching around to stroke his penis as though you’re playing a trombone. Two words: why not?

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Getting Excited for a Cold Sore!

expert advice Mar 21, 2012

I got a cold sore a few weeks back. It was really no surprise since stress is my main trigger and I’d been working on the road for five weeks living out of hotel rooms. When I landed back in Toronto, I felt the tingle on my way to an evening of events. I turned to my partner and exclaimed, “I think I’m getting a cold sore. I’m excited!”

Also a cold sore sufferer (since his toddler years just like me), he was obviously perplexed by my exclamation. “What?”

“I’ll finally get a chance to try that Cold Sore FX,” I explained.

“Awesome!” He responded with more than a hint of sarcasm.

Cold Sore FX caught my attention a few months back, as they’ve been working to de-stigmatize cold sores and correct misinformation about the virus and breakouts. They’ve also done a whole whack of research (the biggest study in Canada) as part of this campaign and as a sexologist, some of the findings were alarming –...

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My First One-Night Stand!

expert advice Mar 19, 2012

And What Was Missing in the Morning

This is a true story from a brave client who is willing to re-tell it for our education and amusement.

I receive lots of great stories from clients all over the world, but this one stands out because it reinforces one of my Mind-Blowing-Sex gold rules: Lube changes your life!

After sharing this pearl of wisdom with the 70 brave women who attended The Greatest Sex of Your Life event a few weeks back, one smart (and very pretty) lady approached me to tell me just how much she agreed with my take on lube. Here is her story…

A few days ago, I decided to engage in my first one night stand…with a hot Argentinian polo player.

Hot and well-hung, he claims that it’s impossible to cum with the condom on because the little buggers are just too tight for his massive manhood. So to make the experience better for him, I grab my travel-sized version of Maximus lube and start giving him a very slippery hand job. He seems to enjoy this very...

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One Way to Unlock Your Orgasms

tips & techniques Mar 15, 2012

Sex is supposed to feel good -- actually, it's supposed to feel great! And though you don't need to have an orgasm to enjoy sex, it's no secret that orgasm is the high-point of pleasure for most men and women. However, this doesn’t mean that orgasms during intercourse are out of the question. In fact, orgasms that combine penetration with clitoral stimulation can be intensely satisfying for all parties involved.

One approach to orgasm-inducing intercourse involves the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT). This positioning and movement can provide a woman with both vaginal and clitoral stimulation, stimulate a man’s shaft and prostatic nerves and does not require any challenging gymnastic moves or flexibility. Hooray! Because we’re tired of swinging off chandeliers, right?

The CAT is a basic modification of the missionary position that involves the man riding up on a woman’s pelvis so they can rock and rub the clitoris against the base of his penis and/or...

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“My Penis Broke!” One Painful Story

expert advice Mar 02, 2012

Many thanks to Warren for sharing his real story of how he broke his penis:

Last weekend, I was at my local sex club around 2AM in full view of several others and having intercourse from behind with my girlfriend in our regular rough manner (she likes the hair pulling, and the bum slapping, etc.) when I suddenly slipped out and then tried to immediately reinsert. But she must have zigged and I’ve always been much more of a zagger, because I think I hit her taint on the way in and thus, crumpled my penis. It hurt a good deal and it didn’t pop or bend really so much as…well, crumple. It started to bleed substantially and I thought it must have ripped the skin which I knew was no big deal so I wasn’t too freaked out at this time. Turns out the bleeding was coming from the inside and stopped rather quickly as soon as the urethra shut down altogether, which as it happens, was very bad. Penis-threateningly bad.

We prepared to leave the Club and I paid the...

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New Year's Resolutions from a Sexologist

expert advice Jan 20, 2012

About Dr. Jess

We may be nearing the end of January, but this article was originally posted on LisaLiving as proof that I did write my resolutions in time for the new year:)

From LisaLiving:

As the new year rolls in, we tend to focus on resolutions to improve our overall health. Gym memberships fly of the shelf, diet products sell out in response to turkey overload (how blessed we are to eat until we're full!) and new programs to quit our not-so-healthy habits make headlines with stories of success. It really is an exciting time and I think everyone deserves and can benefit from the feeling of a fresh start!

While you're making resolutions to live a better life and become a better version of yourself, be sure to take some time to look at your relationships. It only takes a few minutes, but thinking about your connections with friends, family, partners and co-workers can help you gain a new perspective on the ways in which you interact with others. Healthy relationships are of paramount...

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Q is for Quasimodo-Wank, Queef, Quickie and QUILTBAG

Thanks to my British friend, Jon Jackson, for defining Quasimodo-Wank which involves masturbating to the sound of bells. And why not? If the clock strikes twelve and the mood happens to strike you, then go for it! Just don’t do it beneath the church bell tower please and thank you.

The Queef is also known as a vaginal fart, but unlike a bum fart (ew – I don’t even like writing about real farts), a queef contains no waste gases. Hooray! A queef is just the natural expulsion of air from the vagina that sometimes occurs during sexual activity. There is no need to be embarrassed by the sound and a normal queef isn’t odorous so get busy and queef away. Just don’t ever blow air into the vagina, because this could cause an air embolism.

Quickie is a short sexual interlude that usually excludes “foreplay”. Quickies are a great way to relieve tension, reduce stress and calm the nerves in the middle of the hectic workday....

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Fun Sex Facts

expert advice Dec 13, 2011

How many of these facts did you know? Are you surprised by some? Let me know in the comment section below...

Fun Sex Facts 1

Fun Sex Facts 2

Fun Sex Facts 3

Fun Sex Facts 4Fun Sex Facts 5Fun Sex Facts 6

 

What are your thoughts about these statistics? Comment below

via GIPHY

 

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P is for Pearl Necklace, Pegging, Penguin, Phallophobia and Priapism

The Pearl Necklace involves spraying your ejaculate on your partner’s neck/chest so that it looks like s/he is wearing pearls. Use your imagination and remember to ask first!

Pegging refers to a woman penetrating her male partner’s butt with a strap-on dildo. The term was coined by Dan Savage who asked his readers to vote on the best term for “a woman fucking a man in the ass with a strap-on dildo” and pegging beat out BOBing (bend-over-boyfriend) and Punting (kicking the ball to the other team)

The Penguin is easy and fun to visualize. It involves two (or more) people engaging in any sort of sexual activity in which one partner walks or runs away right before the other reaches orgasm. The abandoned partner chases after the ditcher with his/her pants around the ankles so that the it looks like s/he is running like a penguin. Get it?

Phallophobia refers to the a persistent, irrational fear of the penis.

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