The following an excerpt from Dr. Jess' article published by iVillage Canada: "Cute, sweet and perfect on paper. Why aren't we clicking?"

If you’ve ever fallen head over heels for the Mr. Wrong (and who hasn’t?), you know that the laws of attraction are both a science and a mystery. Sometimes we find ourselves inexplicably attracted to a man who brings us nothing but drama while the perfect gentleman goes completely unnoticed. Sorry guys!

I hear it from women in the dating game all the time. They meet and connect with a guy who is perfect on paper, but they just don’t seem to click. He’s handsome, kind, funny and caring -- a perfect 10. But sexually, they just can’t seem to get beyond first gear -- or first base.

Most of these women start to blame themselves and wonder if something is wrong with them. They label themselves as self-destructive or damaged when in most cases, nothing could be farther than the truth. Sexual chemistry is a complex...

Men and women across the globe spend their lives searching for love in hopes of companionship, excitement, family, happily-ever-after, sex, security and even status. But now science suggests that love also has the power to ease physical aches and pains. A study has found that being in love activates the reward centres of the brain — the same regions impacted by painkiller drugs.

The research out of Stanford University tested pain levels of men and women by applying heat to the palm of their hands. Looking at photos of their lovers significantly reduced their experience of pain and MRI scans connected this love-induced analgesia to activity in the area of the brain associated with addiction to painkillers, cocaine and other drugs.

“This tells us that you don’t have to just rely on drugs for pain relief,” explains researcher, Dr. Arthur Aron. “People are feeling intense rewards without the side effects of drugs.”

And though big pharma...

Men and women across the globe spend their lives searching for love in hopes of companionship, excitement, family, happily-ever-after, sex, security and even status. But now science suggests that love also has the power to ease physical aches and pains. A study has found that being in love activates the reward centres of the brain — the same regions impacted by painkiller drugs.

The research out of Stanford University tested pain levels of men and women by applying heat to the palm of their hands. Looking at photos of their lovers significantly reduced their experience of pain and MRI scans connected this love-induced analgesia to activity in the area of the brain associated with addiction to painkillers, cocaine and other drugs.

“This tells us that you don’t have to just rely on drugs for pain relief,” explains researcher, Dr. Arthur Aron. “People are feeling intense rewards without the side effects of drugs.”

And though big pharma...

Feeling itchy and scratchy? Does it burn when you pee? Are you sexually active? If you follow my work, you’ll know that I don’t use scare tactics in my practice and I celebrate sex for all its glorious pleasure potential. However, partnered sex of all varieties and even safer sex with condoms carries some risk of sexually transmitted infection (STI), so taking your health into your own hands is of utmost importance.

As a young professional, you take care of your health: you make an effort to eat well (weekends don’t count), exercise (dancing all night qualifies) and achieve a healthy work-life balance (unless it is month or quarter-end). Taking care of your sexual health should therefore be a no-brainer. After all, sex feels good, carries a host of health benefits and is ultimately, the life force.

So, where should you begin? First and foremost, safer sex is an absolute must. STI and HIV rates continue to rise, so barrier methods like condoms need to be used...

Having trouble reaching the big Ohhh? You're not alone. A lack of physical stimulation (where it counts), relationship strife, hormonal shifts, mood, pelvic floor tone and intrusive thoughts can all interfere with your ability to orgasm, but this week I've seen half a dozen women who presented with similar challenges: their orgasms are being impeded by a combination performance pressure, "spectatoring" and stress.

Since their experience is so common, we've outlined more about these obstacles and how to overcome them below:

1. Performance Pressure is one of the biggest detractors from sexual pleasure. While men may feel pressure to last longer and be harder, women also feel pressure to “perform” in the bedroom. In my Rock His World workshops, I always remind women that my goal is to offer new ideas and inspire them to feel confident — as fun as it is to learn new sex moves (and practice on carrots!), being a great lover isn’t only about technique. In...

Let’s face it, our bodies don’t always cooperate with us. For men whose erections disappear at an inopportune time the stress and discomfort can be overwhelming but, it doesn’t have to be.

Every man is going to have to deal with losing an erection at some point in his life and if you’re the partner on the other end, you can rest assured that it has nothing to do with you. It’s not your body, your touch or your technique that is keeping him from getting it up. It could be a physiological issue (e.g. high blood pressure, circulation problems, nerve damage or certain medications), but if it happens only once-in-a-while, it may simply be attributable to a bit of anxiety, stress or pressure.

So let him know that it’s no big deal. Don’t overdo it, but do tell him that it’s okay and that it’s perfectly normal. Because it really is! And then kindly demand (is that possible?) that he continue to focus on your pleasure. Yup. It’s not...

As a sexologist, clients come to me with a wide range of issues: from broken penises (please don’t come to my office - go straight to the hospital and don’t pass GO!) to the joys and complexities of multiple orgasms, each person’s story is unique. But as much as every story is personal and one-of-a-kind, the issue of sexual compatibility in relationships is a theme that arises with almost every client I see.

This is because sexual compatibility matters in relationships. Thanks to the rules of monogamy, achieving a degree of compatibility in bed is essential to relationship success and satisfaction. Check out these 5 tips for understanding and developing sexual compatibility:

Sexual compatibility takes work.

Like all good things, sexual compatibility doesn’t always develop naturally - it really does take work. This is because sexual desires and expectations are highly personal, so even if you share a lot in common with your partner, there are bound to be...

Should you fake orgasms?

Probably not. A one-off performance may not cause much damage, but tread lightly, as faking can easily become a bad habit.

In a perfect world, you wouldn’t need to fake orgasms for your own sake or your partner’s. However, the reality is that almost all women have put on an Oscar-worthy performance at least once.

But why do women fake orgasms? These are a few of the reasons I’ve heard:

“I just needed to get him out of there! Like ASAP.”

“He had no clue what he was doing — and he wasn’t about to figure it out in the next 20 minutes, so I ended it”

“It just makes him happy.”

“I don’t even know what an orgasm really feels like.”

“I knew it just wasn’t going to happen. Sometimes you just know.”

“I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.”

“He kept asking if I’d come yet — that gets annoying, right?”

“It was getting late...

I recently hosted a women’s workshop in which a number of questions about sex toys kept coming up. Since so many of us share similar questions and concerns, I’ve decided to post the answers below…

Question: I’ve heard that sex toys are common — even for couples, but I’m afraid to bring up the subject to my boyfriend, because I don’t know how he’ll react. Do you have any advice to make it easier?

You’re absolutely right. Many women and men use sex toys and research suggests that those who use them actually report higher levels of sexual satisfaction. Woohoo! And though more women are willing to admit to owning a sex toy, men’s attitudes are also overwhelmingly positive with 70 percent reporting that they don’t find them intimidating.

To start the conversation with your partner, consider these strategies:

1. Talk openly about your interests and desires. If you’re comfortable talking about sex, it will help to put...

The Raphe is the dividing line that runs all the way from the anus, across the perineum, up the scrotal sac to the very tip of the penis. Ask your partner to stand with his legs shoulder-width apart while you kneel on the floor beneath him and lick his raphe with a wide, wet tongue.

Retifism refers to sexual arousal that is derived from shoes. And since the foot is the most common fetish in North America, it’s no surprise that there are a ton of retifists in our mist. Here’s to sky-high heels in the bedroom!

Rimming involves licking, sucking and kissing around the butt-hole.

Rusty Trombone: Are you a musician at heart? Then you’ll love this one whether you’re a giver or receiver! The Rusty Trombone involves eating-out a man’s butt from behind, while reaching around to stroke his penis as though you’re playing a trombone. Two words: why not?