Q is for Quasimodo-Wank, Queef, Quickie and QUILTBAG

Thanks to my British friend, Jon Jackson, for defining Quasimodo-Wank which involves masturbating to the sound of bells. And why not? If the clock strikes twelve and the mood happens to strike you, then go for it! Just don’t do it beneath the church bell tower please and thank you.

The Queef is also known as a vaginal fart, but unlike a bum fart (ew – I don’t even like writing about real farts), a queef contains no waste gases. Hooray! A queef is just the natural expulsion of air from the vagina that sometimes occurs during sexual activity. There is no need to be embarrassed by the sound and a normal queef isn’t odorous so get busy and queef away. Just don’t ever blow air into the vagina, because this could cause an air embolism.

A Quickie is a short sexual interlude that usually excludes “foreplay”. Quickies are a great way to relieve tension, reduce stress and calm the nerves in the middle of the hectic workday. Check out AskMen’s top eight locations for a quickie, but before you dive in, be sure you’re not breaking any local laws

I learned about QUILTBAG from Scarleteen’s website. They are probably the best online sex education resource for teens, but I think adults can also benefit from most of their work — I know I do! Click on the hyperlinks to check out their site: “QUILTBAG is an acronym used to express the following sexual and gender identities/groups: Q, Queer and/or Questioning, U, Unidentified, I,Intersex, L, Lesbian, T, Trans, B, Bisexual, A, Asexual (and/or) Allies, G, Gay and/or Genderqueer.” Source: Scarleteen