How To Boost Your Sexual Self-Esteem
In a world consumed by exaggerated notions of beauty, sexual self-esteem is often associated with physical appearance and learning a few signature moves. But being confident in bed isn’t about looking good naked or twisting two-thirds to the left at a medium pace. Sexual confidence is about feeling comfortable with yourself, so take a look at these strategies to feel better from the inside-out:
Accept that you have lots to learn. We all do!
Nothing holds us back in the sack more than the erroneous belief that we’re natural born lovers. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Since each person has a unique set of wants, needs, and limitations, every new lover presents a fresh course in sex.
If you sometimes wonder what to do to seduce your lover, rev their engine or keep them coming, you’re perfectly normal. Don’t be discouraged if you feel you have lots to learn. As a sexologist, I’ve spent the last eighteen years studying sex and I’ve only...
How Professional Success Affects Relationships
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Winning an Oscar triples your chances of getting divorced. And though you may not be in the running for an Academy Award, your personal and professional successes can adversely affect your relationship — but they don’t have to! Dr. Natasha Sharma joins Jess to discuss how you can ensure that your success serves to enhance — not threaten — your relationship.
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This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.
How Health Plays A Role In Your Relationship
A rich body of research suggests that marriage is good for your health and your pocketbook. But what if you’re in an unhappy relationship? What are the health effects of tension and marital discord? Jess joined Jeff on The Morning Show to discuss a range of studies related to marriage and health. Watch the video and read the summary below.
1. We’ve heard that marriage is good for your health - is this still true?
- Overall, marriage is tied to a range of health and social benefits: higher incomes, greater recovery rates, lower risk of cardiovascular disease.
- A recent study found that marital quality’s relationship to physical health is as important as daily exercise and a healthy diet.
2. But what about if you’re in an unhappy relationship?
It’s not marriage alone that offers potential health benefits; the quality of the relationship matters:
- Marital distress is tied to higher levels of depression and hypertension.
- In unhappy relationships, your risk...
How to Put Yourself Back on the Market β Without Going Online!
Sure, online dating sites and apps give those of us looking for love an opportunity to see what’s out there beyond the usual places to meet. But let’s be real: it ain’t for everybody. So here are five expert tips for putting yourself back on the market without having to create the eHarmony profile or master Tinder swiping.
Tip #1: Put your phone away and try to actually notice people
Taking an offline approach to getting back out there shouldn’t be limited to skipping dating sites or apps, but also by making an effort to be more unplugged, period! Such as when you’re getting your morning coffee, out walking the street or passing through public spaces — that sort of thing. At least that’s the opinion of upscale matchmaker and author, Janis Spindel. In a Huffington Post piece, the former fashion executive argues how prospective matches could be anywhere. But if you are frequently busy texting or fiddling around on your phone, you’ll...
How to Seduce Your Lover
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Do you want to seduce your lover with confidence and finesse? Marla Stewart can help. She joins Jess to talk about the “Seduction Learning Approach”. She uses real-life examples to help you understand your own desires and your partner’s. Jess and Marla also share specific suggestions to use your words, body, actions and more to seduce your lover with confidence — and to teach them to return the favor.
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This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.
You've Got Relationship Questions? Jess Has Answers!
This morning on Global TV's The Morning Show, Jess sat down with Jeff and Carolyn to tackle another round of relationship questions from viewers. Check out her advice below and watch her segment from earlier today.
My husband of 11 years doesn’t want me to have any male friends. He says I should only be friends with men in a professional setting and if I hang out with opposite-sex co-workers after work, he needs to come along to chaperone.
I think it’s fair for your husband to want an invitation to after-work drinks sometimes if he simply wants to hang out with you and get to know your work friends. BUT the notion of chaperoning is a red-flag.
You don’t cultivate trusting relationships through supervision or control. And you cannot address insecurities via supervision or control. And his desire to chaperone is likely rooted in insecurity (and perhaps inaccurate messages about what constitutes trusting relationships). In fact, the more you supervise...
What You Need to Know About the 'Bi-Cycle'
Have you heard of the 'bi-cycle'? By definition, the 'bi-cycle' means when people (not just bisexual people) find that their sexual preferences change from day to day or even minute to minute. It’s perfectly normal for your sexual desires to fluctuate throughout the month, but also over the long term. What you enjoy today is different than what you wanted five years ago and this is what keeps sex so exciting.
Many cis and trans women report that it’s not only their sex drive that fluctuates with their menstrual cycles (as reported in earlier research with regard to ovulation and sexual interest) but also their specific sexual desires and fantasies.
For example, many of the women I work with who are in CNM (consensually non-monogamous) relationships report that their interest and comfort with the CNM component of their relationship dips right before menstruation. This could be attributed to hormonal, but also to shifts in mood, energy levels and body image...
Letβs Talk Threesomes!
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Luna Matatas joins Jess to talk about threesomes. From how to snag a unicorn to how to navigate those awkward moments, we’ve got you covered.
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This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.
Could Hiring a Housecleaner Save Your Relationship?
Just before our wedding thirteen years ago, my family got together to assemble a book of (unsolicited) advice to help our love and relationship last a lifetime. I don’t remember many of the recommendations they had to offer, but I do recall that my mom, whom I admire greatly, offered one pearl of wisdom: Hire a house cleaner if you can afford to do so.
We followed her advice from the onset (both my husband and I grew up with parents who fought about division of household chores) and the cost of a cleaner (Selena) has been worth every penny. Selena’s weekly contribution reduces our stress levels, curbs tension related to any perceived imbalances and affords us more time to spend together (or apart at our leisure).
Now a working paper from researchers at Harvard Business School and the University of British Columbia suggests that spending a little a money to save time and reduce stress could lead to more satisfying relationships. Jess joined Jeff on The Morning Show to...
Use The Three F's For Effective Communication With Your Partner
Communication is everything when it comes to a relationship. It's important that you and your partner are completely honest with each other, and aren't afraid to express your feelings to one another. I suggest that all couples talk about the Three Fs: feelings, frequency, and fantasy. These F-words serve as stepping stones for effective communication with your spouse.
Frequency: How often do you want to have sex? How often do you think your partner wants to have sex? It’s likely that you think you know how often your partner wants it, but most people tend to misread their partner’s desire. If you want sex less often than your partner does, it’s likely that you overestimate how often they want it; if you want sex more often than your partner does, it’s likely that you underestimate how often they want it. So…you need to formalize the conversation! Write it down on a piece of paper: how often do you want it? how often do you think your partner wants it?...
