Photo by Deon Black @ letstalksex.net

I was recently asked a few questions about penetration: What does is mean if I don’t like it? I still like sex, but just don’t love penetration? Can I learn to like it more? What if I just don’t feel much? Does this mean something is wrong with me?

Here are a few thoughts:

You don’t have to enjoy penetration. You may not enjoy penetration for a range of reasons and there are many reasons why sex can be painful including physical changes (e.g. thinning of the vaginal walls, hormonal shifts, dryness, muscle spasms) as well as psychological factors (nerves, performance pressure, anxiety). Some people don’t enjoy penetration because it doesn’t provide enough clitoral stimulation or rubbing and grinding on the outside. Others don’t enjoy penetration, because they find it boring or associate it with seriously unsatisfying experiences.

Sometimes penetration is associated with former trauma, so...

Marriage and family therapist Shadeen Francis joins us to talk about X-Men, therapy, vulnerability and emptying the jug. She helps us to explore the following questions:

• How can the “emptying the jug” approach lead to more fulfilling relationships?
• How can we even begin to open up and let our guard down?
• What language can we use if we’re new to opening up and letting others in?
• How can empathy transform experiences?
• How is self-esteem tied to vulnerability?
• What does it mean to be vulnerable — the good and the bad?
• How can distraction be useful when dealing with difficult experiences?
• How can we improve communication around challenging topics?
• How can we open up and be more open to being emotionally impacted?

Follow Shadeen on Twitter and Instagram.

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If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here...

If you don't know who Elle Chase is, get to know her a little better in this Sexuality Superhero feature. Elle is a certified sexuality educator, a pleasure advocate coach, sex consultant, author, speaker and so much more!

How did you find yourself working in sexuality?

I had a “sexual awakening” when I left my marriage. I started a curated porn site, LadyCheeky.com, that focused on body positivity, passion, sexual exploration and desire. People seemed to flock to it and started sending me questions about sex. The more I researched answers, the more I fell in love with (and saw a need for) pleasure inclusive sex education. I started reading every sex ed book I could get my hands on. I eventually attended the San Francisco Sex Information (SFSI) Sex Educator Training Program and began creating classes including my “Big, Beautiful Sex: Sex and Body Image” class and speaking on using porn as a vehicle for sexual exploration. Those two...

 Andrea Werhun, author of Modern Whore, joins Jess and Brandon to share her personal story as a sex worker, performer and author. She discusses her beautiful journey into sex work and how her work has shifted during physical distancing and isolation. They also discuss:

• What makes an escort enjoy the experience with a client
• How sex workers and their clients build trust and connection in their relationships
• Andrea’s Hire-A-Muse packages
• The coming out process and Andrea’s story of sharing her truth with her Mom & Dad
• How to be an ally to sex workers and how to be sex worker-positive
• Jess’ experience with sex workers at her first SAR
• Sex work as a healing profession
• The benefits of sex work
• Insights from sex work that can benefit all daters
• Stripping vs. Escorting and the whorearchy 
• The importance of labour rights for sex workers

Follow Andrea on Instagram & Twitter. Follow Modern Whore...

This morning on Global TV's The Morning Show, Jess shares a few hacks with Carolyn and Jeff about how we can feel less lonely during quarantine. She also discusses managing work and personal relationships in isolation. Check out her notes and video segment below.

1) I'm single and live alone, it's been 10 weeks and I'm still lonely.  I have video chats with friends and family every day, I take my walk outside and even still I'm so lonely! Is there anything I can do or do I just have to wait this out until things go back to normal?

This is a common experience and I appreciate your speaking up. I think we need more dialogue about how our policies and many of the discussions around the distancing regulations don’t necessarily address the needs of the over 4 million Canadians (a number which has more than doubled in the last 35 years). Living alone is not only associated with higher risk of depression and anxiety, but when you’re alone...

It’s Masturbation May and we’re here to celebrate solo sex with the Pass The Sex Toy Challenge featuring the We-Vibe Melt, the We-Vibe Wand and some of my favourite sexperts!

We love solo sex for its many benefits:

• Masturbation helps you to learn about your unique responses to sexual pleasure — from what turns you on in your mind to what gets you going in your body. Because solo sex allows you to shed any partner-based performance pressure, you’re more likely to discover new pathways to pleasure that really work for your own body — regardless of whether or not they align with social expectations. For example, you might find that lying on your stomach and squeezing a toy between your legs creates more intense orgasms — a technique you’re unlikely to discover with a partner or by watching porn.
• Most of us learn to orgasm through self-pleasure and accepting the fact that orgasm is an experience as opposed to something a lover...

Say hello to this week's Sexuality Superhero, Cameron Glover. Cameron is a business coach for sex educators, meaning she supports experts in the field, helping their businesses thrive. Get to know Cameron a little better, and read her feature below.

1. How did you find yourself working in sexuality?

I fell into the sexuality field almost by accident. I studied literature during undergrad and planned on teaching in academia. But once I graduated, I had to figure out what to do in the meantime. I started freelance writing and continued that for five years. Through freelancing, I got to research and look into so many different paths, and writing sexuality-focused stories got me curious about what it was like to go even further into this space. One Google search of "How do you become a sex educator?" later and I found myself researching certification programs.

Today, I'm a full-time certified sex educator, business coach, and founder of my own brand, Successful Sex Ed.

2. What...

Wendy Miller, host of Sex Ed The Musical Podcast, joins us to discuss her experience as the former Head of Production with PlayboyTV. She shares stories from the Playboy set shoots as well as insights from the Under Covers series, which explored the real stories of women from all walks of life. They discuss PlayboyTV’s Swing, the toll TV representations can take on body image and their “Sexual Golden Tickets”. Listen now and learn more!

Follow Wendy on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

 If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible.

And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any...

Our newest Sexuality Superhero is Dr. Hernando Chaves. Dr. Chaves is a licensed marriage and family therapist, based in Los Angeles. Dr. Chaves' focus is based on empathetic, sex-positive support with an emphasis on enhancing pleasure. Check out his feature below and learn more!

1. How did you find yourself working in sexuality?

I started off as a child therapist and started experiencing burnout. I looked for another niche and sex therapy stood out. I went back to school for a doctorate in human sexuality, changed my focus to sex therapy, started teaching human sexuality, and found where I belong. They say do what you love and find your passion and I did.

2. What is the best part of your job?

The best part of my job is helping people reduce sexual anxiety and bring pleasure into their world. Whether it's a student learning eye opening and life-changing aspects of their own sexuality or therapy clients experiencing changing growth with their sexual functioning, it's an honor...

Therapist Todd Baratz joins Jess to discuss the costs and potential benefits of avoidance behaviours. He shares his thoughts on:

• The ways in which avoidance can be functional
• The stress and anxiety associated with sexual avoidance
• How to manage conflict avoidance
• The importance of conflict in relationships
• Specific strategies to break the avoidance cycle

Follow Todd on Instagram here. Check out his podcast, Your Diagnonsense.

If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible.

And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for...