Sexuality Superheroes: Davia Frost

expert advice Oct 28, 2019

This week's Sexuality Superhero is Davia Frost. Although Davia is based in Chicago, this advocate for sexual health education shares her knowledge with community health organizations, classes, lectures and coaching lessons across the world. She is the founder and owner of Frosted Pleasure, and offers sensual workshops at Chicago's The Pleasure Chest. Learn more about Davia below!

How did you find yourself working in the sexuality field? 

For me my relationship with my sexuality started pretty young compared to most. Even with my parents being very religious and patriarchal people from Jamaica, I was so intrigued by bodies and any romantic scenes on TV and wanted to learn so much more.  I would even reenact scenes I would see with my Barbies, I remember just wanting to be a voyeur just so I could see everything that was going on sensually and sexually. Back in the AOL days, I would be a voyeur also, by watching closely to the words as people I’ve never met engaged in...

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How Do I Know if My Partner is Over Their Ex?

expert advice Oct 23, 2019

I received this question from a podcast listener a while back and I’ve shared my insights below: What does it mean if my partner still talks about their ex? They’re no longer in touch, but how do I know if they’re over them and should I bring it up if it bothers me?

My very brief thoughts: It’s not uncommon to feel threatened by your partner’s ex, but these feelings are likely unfounded — especially if they’re no longer in the picture. Ask yourself *why* the thought or talk of their ex makes you uncomfortable and be honest with yourself about these vulnerable feelings instead of running from them. It’s normal to feel weak, scared, insecure, jealous and/or threatened at times especially when you’re dealing with an unknown. Simply acknowledging these feelings gives you a chance to lean into them, understand them and learn from them. You can’t address insecurity (or any feeling) if you pretend it doesn’t exist, so focus...

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Sexuality Superheroes: Jade the Erotic Storyteller

expert advice Oct 21, 2019

Say hello to our newest Sexuality Superhero, Jade the Erotic Storyteller. Jade is a sexuality liberated writer and expressionist. Or should I say 'sex-pressionist'? She is the author of two books, Passion After Dark 1 & 2, a podcaster and speaker. Check out Jade's feature below to learn more!

How did you find yourself working in sexuality?

It began with my writing. Telling stories from a realistic perspective made my work relatable. Through my writing I came to learn so much about my own sexuality, then soon discovered women and men who dealt with very similar situations. Left and right people began to share their kinkiest secrets and fears. From there, my calling became clear to me.

What is the best part of the job?

Being able to connect with women and men who were once afraid to discuss sex openly.

What is the most challenging part of the job?

Censorship. It makes it difficult at times to promote my work. It's unfortunate that my work falls under an umbrella of illegal sex...

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10 Ways To Increase Your Chances of Orgasm

expert advice Oct 17, 2019

Hot sex and earth-shattering orgasms don’t always come naturally — most of us have to do a bit of learning along the way and it can be a lifelong process. I was recently interviewed on the topic and the journalist asked for a few tips on how to have an orgasm, which I’ve shared below:

1. Play with running water. Many of my clients who have never experienced orgasm, learn to do so with the help of a detachable shower head. Their water bills may soar, but it's a small price to pay for mind-blowing orgasms. Run it over your vulva, clit, backside and nipples and experiment with hot and cold to see how your body responds. The possibilities are endless! Just be sure to avoid spraying a stream of water directly into the vagina.

You might also want to check out the Waterslyde and the Femme Fountain if you’re into water play — not to be confused with water sports.

2. Hump furniture. If you emulate what you see in porn — jackhammering, fingering, smacking...

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Sexuality Superheroes: Jennifer Beman

expert advice Oct 07, 2019

Say hello to this week's Sexuality Superhero! Jennifer is the artist behind the Graphic Sex Project: an interactive art installation where people make "graphs" of their sexual values and preferences using colored cubes. They can take a picture of their creation to share with a partner as a conversation-starter, and if they want they can add their graph to her growing collection. It's a playful, fun way to think about sex - and get some powerful insights into what you desire and what you care about. She's gathered over 700 graphs so far. The display of graphs is beautiful - a testament to the diversity of the human sexual experience. When she's not asking people to graph their sex lives, she edits documentaries for clients like National Geographic, Discovery, Smithsonian, PBS, and the History Channel. She lives outside of DC with her husband of 30 years, and two college-age children. Read more about Jennifer below!

How did you find yourself working in sexuality?

It was a...

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Sexuality Superheroes: Alisha Fisher

expert advice Sep 30, 2019

This week's Sexuality Superhero is Alisha Fisher. Alisha has worked under Jess in the past, learning from her in both business and theory. She has since butterflied into her own expertise, teaching clients about her insights on intimacy, and embracing their desire for sexual pleasure. Read her feature below and get to know Alisha a little better.

How did you find yourself working in sexuality?

It was all the way back in Elementary School, that I found myself being fascinated with how people in intimate partnerships interacted. Asking myself questions like: Why were intimate relationships important? What was happening to our bodies that made us crave intimate touch? etc. Of course, my language was not as developed at that time, but I quickly became the sex-guru-go-to for all questions surrounding gender identity, gender roles, sexual orientations, Kinky connections, Role Play, relationship advice, sexual advice and so forth!

I blindly went into the world of Psychology,...

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Dr. Jess on the Challenges & Benefits of Being a Sexologist, and the State of Sex Education

expert advice Sep 25, 2019

In 2017, I was profiled by the Sexual Health Magazine for their cover story. As exciting as it is to be featured on the cover of this magazine, I think my interview has some really good takeaways. So I am posting this here for future reference. Feel free to check out the interview in this digital copy of July 2017's Sexual Health Magazine, or read it below. :)

1.When did you know you wanted to be a sexpert? What inspired you?

I didn’t aspire to be a “sexpert" — I fell into it by accident. My passion is education and eleven years ago, I was teaching at a high school whose students were deemed “at-risk”. I saw the costs of a sex education system that was failing them. Every week students came to me looking for help with abusive relationships, STIs, unplanned pregnancy, birth control, gender identity and sexual orientation.

I wanted to be a part of the solution, so I went back to school to study sexual health education with a focus on teacher...

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How to Have Hot Sex in Long-Term Relationships

expert advice Sep 18, 2019

I was recently interviewed on the topic of long-term passion and how to keep your relationship sizzling after months or years of living together. This is my passion! I’ve been living with my partner, Brandon, for 18+ years and I’m still excited for every single day we get to spend together — in and out of the bedroom.

Listen to my podcast on The Science Of Passion In Relationships here and read below for some of the tips I shared in the interview.

If you want to keep your relationship hot over the long-term…

1. Make your daily interactions more erotic. 

You are not a light switch. You can’t go from talking about the mundane (e.g. your grocery bill or whether or not little Johnny is constipated) to tearing one another’s clothes off. So if you want more passion and excitement in your relationships, you’re going to want to weave eroticism throughout your day, week, and month.

Now this doesn’t mean every time I eat a banana, you need...

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Sexuality Superheroes: King Noire

expert advice Sep 16, 2019

This week's Sexuality Superhero is King Noire. King is a master fetish trainer, the co-creator of Royal Fetish Films and adult film star. Check out their feature below!

How did you find yourself working in sexuality?

Initially, when I was 18-years-old I was asked by a friend who was a dancer at the time to be in a magazine with her because she did not want “any random dicks” in her face. I was in need of work and it fit my interests as I was starting to really explore my sexual likes and dislikes. From there I got booked to do private cuckolding and domination sessions which opened me up to cam modeling, live shows and adult film. After that, I took a few years hiatus as my music, social activism and community work took a front seat. After being laid off, I began dancing at parties and doing Erotic Touch through my company Sensual Noire. That’s around the time I met Jet Setting Jasmine and we started doing Fantasy Flight Parties. At our parties, a lot of the...

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3 Dating Red Flags

expert advice Sep 09, 2019

Are you single and dating? If so, you may be scrolling, swiping and meeting up with new folks daily and with so many options, it can be difficult to decide whether to not someone is a good fit for you.

A @SexWithDrJess Podcast listener recently asked me if there are any red flags to look out for early on in the dating relationship, so I’m sharing a few with you below.

If you have sex, dating and relationship questions, submit them here. We love to hear from you!

They express a desire to have you all to themselves. Is your new partner is critical of your friends and family? Do they suggest that you don’t need them or try to isolate you from your social circle? They may suggest that they love you so much that they’re trying to protect you. And they might assure you that you’re simply too good of your friends and family. This attempt to isolate you and make your new relationship the centre of your life may be a red flag that their controlling behaviour will...

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