3 Dating Red Flags

Are you single and dating? If so, you may be scrolling, swiping and meeting up with new folks daily and with so many options, it can be difficult to decide whether to not someone is a good fit for you.

A @SexWithDrJess Podcast listener recently asked me if there are any red flags to look out for early on in the dating relationship, so I’m sharing a few with you below.

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They express a desire to have you all to themselves. Is your new partner is critical of your friends and family? Do they suggest that you don’t need them or try to isolate you from your social circle? They may suggest that they love you so much that they’re trying to protect you. And they might assure you that you’re simply too good of your friends and family. This attempt to isolate you and make your new relationship the centre of your life may be a red flag that their controlling behaviour will only intensify.

Criticism and complaining are the norm. Does your new partner seem to have bad blood with almost everyone in their lives? From friends and family to exes and coworkers, do they find fault with just about everyone? If so, you can recognize the common denominator: it’s them. While it’s normal to have some acrimonious relationships in their past (or present), social and relational ties are important to both life satisfaction and overall health; and since your partner’s friendships and relationship with family can affect yours, it’s important to pay attention to the way they speak and interact with other people in their lives. Even if they’re loving, considerate and respectful toward you, if they don’t treat others similarly, you may find that their behaviour toward you will also change with time.

They’re rude or disrespectful to service staff - to their face or behind their backs (e.g. waiters, baristas). The way they speak to and about their friends and family matters, but so do their daily interactions. If they believe they’re better than others, it’s likely they’re sizing you up to determine whether or not you’re good enough for them too — this isn’t a healthy foundation for any relationship, so be weary. Moments of fleeting intimacy with strangers (like service staff) can be good for our health too, so they’re missing out on valuable social opportunities by being rude or dismissive; chances are they’ll expect the same of you and you likely want more meaningful interactions in your life — whether single or partnered.

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