How to Move on From a Cheater

If your ex cheated, diving back into the world of dating can be intimidating. But being cheated on doesn’t mean the end of romance, intimacy and happy relationships — in fact, it’s just the beginning. If your ex cheated, you can still find love, fulfilment and commitment - and you deserve it all.

Consider these strategies for moving onward and upward:

Do not accept responsibility for a cheater. Know that it’s not you — it’s them. Your ex cheated because they chose to cheat. You were not the “cause” of their cheating, so there is no reason to assume that your next partner will cheat too.

Make sex exciting again with We-Vibe Sync

Date outside of your comfort zone. Do you have a certain “type” to which that you tend to be attracted? Try getting to know different types of people and hang out in different venues to see if your attraction is broader than you realized. You might attract someone with whom trust arises more...

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One “Trick” To Revolutionize Your Sex Life

podcasts Jun 07, 2017

In this week’s quickie episode, Jess describes how understanding your “Core Erotic Feeling” can improve your sex life. Whether you’re turned on by love, tenderness, humiliation or compliments, training your partner to evoke your core erotic feeling is key to a fulfilling sex life!

Podcast Transcript:

It’s not a trick at all. It’s a straightforward exercise you can do on your own and with your partner (if you have one) that really will revolutionize your sex life.

It involves learning to understand your core erotic feeling (CEF).

Your core erotic feeling is the feeling that you most strongly associated with sexual desire, arousal, pleasure, and fulfillment.

To help identify your CEF, answer this simple question: how do you need to feel in order to enjoy sex?

Do you need to feel loved? Relaxed? Appreciated? De-stressed? Desired? Sexy? Challenged? Threatened? Jealous? Subjugated? Powerful? Surprised?

This list is obviously non-exhaustive.

Your core...

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5 Toys To Revolutionize Your Sex Life! Part 1

jess' article reviews Jun 07, 2017

When I first started working in the field of human sexuality, most of the toys on offer came in the form of exaggerated phalluses and animal-inspired vibes made of jelly. Fast forward to today and I’m thrilled to report that the adult toy industry has come along way. The variety and quality of products has vastly improved and many companies are investing heavily in research and development to ensure that their toys reflect the needs of their customers.

As a sexologist, I’m often asked to review toy prototypes and provide feedback (it’s a tough job, but somebody has got to to it!) and the companies I’ve worked with have been highly responsive to constructive criticism. From tech-enabled couples’ toys to products that focus as much on health as pleasure, it’s an exciting time in the adult industry.

There are thousands of toys, props and accoutrements on the market, but these are five that have revolutionized my sex life and those of my very happy...

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5 Toys To Revolutionize Your Sex Life! Part 2

jess' article reviews Jun 07, 2017

Continued from Part 1 here...

3. Astroglide Sensitive Skin Gel

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You know how much I love lube! Sex is simply hotter with the addition of this sexy, slippery stuff and if you have reactive skin, Astroglide’s Sensitive Skin Gel may be just what the doctor ordered.

Try these sexy ways to apply lube to your lover:

  • Apply to your palm and then squeeze your hand in a fist allowing the lube to drip sensually over their most sensitive spots.
  • Blindfold them and use a soft-bristled makeup brush to create a sensational experience.
  • Roll a few drops over your lips and use your mouth as your applicator.
  • Apply with your fingertips and then breathe warm air over the wet spots.

4. Ben Wa Balls
These nifty devices have seen a resurgence of popularity since the release of the Fifty Shades trilogy and I really love the Scarlet Couture Glass Duo Balls.
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You can use them to perform Kegel exercises as prescribed by your pelvic floor physiotherapist and they can be used for enhancing...

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Is Your Friend Marrying the Wrong Person?

What should you do if you think your friend is about to marry the wrong person? Should you speak up or forever hold your peace? I weigh in on this sensitive subject with Jeff McArthur on Global TV's The Morning Show. Check out my advice and the video below!

 
1. Should you tell a friend they’re marrying the wrong person?
In most cases, you should keep your mouth shut, but it depends on a few factors:

  • Are they wrong for your friend or wrong for you? Do you dislike the way their partner has impacted your friendship with this friend or are you genuinely concerned for your friend’s happiness?
  • Are you really a good judge of whether or not someone is right or wrong for somebody else. I’m a so-called relationship expert (I read dozens of new studies each week and engage with thousands of couples each year) and I’m not even comfortable making that kind of call in most cases.

2. Are there any cases when you should speak up? 

  • If there is abuse. If...
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Love and Affection in Elle Brazil's Latest Cover

By Alison Minor

Earlier this week, Elle Brazil celebrated their 29th anniversary and the LBGTQ community in a beautifully commendatory fashion. They featured a same-sex couple on their highly anticipated, glossy annual issue of the magazine. The cover is irrefutably beautiful and was met with an inspiringly positive response all around.

For the current sexual and political landscape of Brazil, this cover matters a lot. Members of the LBGTQ community in Brazil have been subject to fatal hate crimes, most of which did not involve any form of robbery. In the past four years, Brazil has lost nearly 1,600 beautiful gay, lesbian, and transgender souls to mindless and hate-fueled violence. This number is most likely higher, due to police’s preference to omit details of victims’ sexual orientation because of the strong taboo that surrounds the subject.

The issue’s theme was affection, and we applaud Elle Brazil, and all those who bravely stand for inclusivity and...

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Former PlayboyTV Exec Tells All: Group Sex, Sex-On-Camera & Overcoming Body Image Issues

podcasts May 31, 2017

 

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This week, Jess speaks to her friend and former head of programming for Playboy TV, Wendy Miller. Listen to the pair reminisce about their days on set with Playboy TV, and many other shenanigans! This is one of Jess’ favourite interviews to date and not just because of all the talk of wine, gin and tonics, biting and strap-ons. Be sure to listen all the way to the end, as Wendy shares her story about overcoming body image issues as a ‘normal’ woman working in a world of Playboy bunnies.

This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Former PlayboyTV Exec Tells All: Group Sex, Sex-On-Camera & Overcoming...

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Why did Melania Slap Trump’s Hand Away?

Everyday, President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump are objectified under the media's microscope. So when an act of PDA is rejected, we immediately jump to conclusions about their relationship. I discuss this further with Jeff McArthur on Global TV's The Morning Show. Read my advice and watch the video below!

1. Is it a big deal that she slapped his hand away?

It’s only a big deal because they were in public. And it was more of a rebuff than a slap of the hand. Every single one of us has felt this way toward our partner at some point in time, so let’s not single out Melania. I’m married to the nicest, most charming, most loving man I could imagine and I still don’t want to hold his hand at every moment in time. Whether or not you’re a fan of Trump or Melania, you have to admit that we’re often looking for opportunities to criticize their relationship oftentimes because we're insecure about our own.

I should note, however, that the most...

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Bromance Benefits

I joined Jeff McArthur this morning on Global TV's The Morning Show to discuss the benefits of bromances. Read my thoughts below and don't forget to watch the video!

What is a bromance?

According to a recent study that looked at undergraduate students, a bromance is a close non-sexual friendship marked by intimacy, love and openness. It’s a relationship that is free from judgment and ultimately one that defies cultural prescriptions of masculinity that preclude men from being vulnerable and sharing intimate details of their life.

Are they becoming more common?

Yes! And it’s a good thing. We see that men who acknowledge having had a bromance acknowledge the many benefits:

  • The opportunity to divulge vulnerabilities without social ridicule.
  • Increased social support (which is positively correlated with more positive physical and mental health outcomes & longevity).
  • Feelings of brotherhood and family-like ties.
  • Opportunities to discuss topics that were previously...
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Confessions of a Codependent

By Alison Minor

We all have a friend who always seems to be in a relationship and who never seems to be single for more than (what feels like) five minutes. I can sincerely say that I have been that person for a majority of my mature life. As a result of this, I became codependent in the process. It came to a point where I was dating people who were not a good fit for me. It became an issue that I was far too afraid to solve.

However, now that I've finally broke the habit of clinging to my partner-of-the-moment, I will never go back.

Whether you find yourself constantly involved in a relationship, but yearning for a sense of independence or you’re generally unhappy in a relationship, but too comfortable to leave, these are my tips to break free of “codependence.”

1. Find things you love to do. As someone who always had a partner, I found that I would lose my personality in them. If they liked hockey, so did I. If they liked spending time outdoors, so did...

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