This week’s episode is a wet one! Jess shares the science of G-Spots & squirting along with techniques you can try tonight. She answers common questions including: Can all women squirt? Is the G-Spot a real thing? Is female ejaculate pee? How can I get my partner to squirt? What is the Vagus nerve?
If you’d rather read about the G-Spot and Squirting, check out some summary notes from The New Sex Bible below:
The G-Spot
This sensitive area accessible through the upper wall of the vagina (toward the stomach) has enjoyed its share of controversy over the years. Dr. Beverly Whipple named the G-Spot after Dr. Ernst Grafenberg, M.D., who previously described it as a “distinct erotogenic zone” on the anterior vaginal wall along the urethra that responds to sexual stimulation. The G-Spot is an area marked by many sensitive nerve pathways, tissues and organs, but it is not a distinct entity, nor is it located inside of the vagina; Dr. Whipple clarifies that it can be felt through the vagina and when stimulated, the tissue begins to swell. As opposed to being a singular organ, it is believed that its sensitivity is connected to corollary stimulation of the female prostate (previously referred to as Skene’s glands), urethral sponge and inner clitoris.
Remember that the G-Spot isn’t a distinct organ, but an area of the body that is associated with the release of fluids. Each woman’s experience with the G-Spot is unique and the degree of pleasure associated with this sensitive area can vary according to a number of factors including arousal levels and monthly cycle. I’ve heard women describe G-Spot stimulation as irritating, weird, neutral, tickling, euphoric, sensational and unbelievably titillating. The bottom line is that there is no right way to experience pleasure and no two bodies respond in the exact same way.
Sex Tip From The Pros
Though squirting isn’t a sideshow trick and not every woman will experience the same degree of ejaculation, you can encourage fluid expulsion by bearing down with your PC muscles. As you approach orgasm, take a few deep breaths as you “push out” with the muscles around your vagina. Relax and allow your body to respond naturally resting assured that the amount of liquid is not necessarily commensurate with your experience of pleasure.
There seems to be a great deal of misinformation floating around about female ejaculation, but the expulsion of fluid from the urethra is a fairly well-documented phenomenon. Not only do early sexual texts including the Kama Sutra reference women’s ability to expel fluid during sex, but the latest research reveals that the skene’s glands, which are a part of the G-Spot and drain into the urethra, are homologous to the prostate gland in men. G-Spot ejaculation, like prostate ejaculation, is a sexually-induced reaction that may or may not coincide with orgasm.
Mainstream porn may tout this “spraying” sensation as some sort of a sideshow trick, but in reality, the fluid expelled is usually less than a teaspoon in volume and doesn’t usually squirt across the room. Some women and their lovers are concerned that the fluid they discharge is urine, however, studies confirm that its contents are similar to male prostatic fluid. It has been found to contain prostatic-specific antigen, prostatic acid phosphatase, urea, creatinine, glucose and fructose. Some describe it as sweet tasting and others say that the taste is rather subdued.
The concern with regard to urinating during sex can sometimes inhibit our sexual response and limit women’s experiences of pleasure with the G-Spot and ejaculation. The skene’s glands are embedded in the spongey tissue that surrounds the urethra between the vagina and the bladder. It is therefore common for women to feel as though they have to pee when the G-Spot is stimulated through the vagina or the abdominal wall. Many of us tense up, contract our pelvic floor muscles or cease stimulation altogether in reaction to this sensation warding off orgasm entirely. While it is possible for ejaculate to contain some traces of pee, emptying your bladder before sex play can help to alleviate this concern. In the event that you do release a small amount of urine due to pressure on your bladder and urethral sponge, rest assured that this fluid is also harmless and like ejaculation, it often goes unnoticed during sex.
For some, ejaculation can be intensely pleasurable and evident, while for others their experience may range from discomfort to indifference. For other women, ejaculation can go entirely unnoticed during sexual intercourse. Each of these experiences is normal and healthy. Our bodies are unique and just as each person reacts differently to the foods we consume, we also respond uniquely to sexual stimuli and touch. If you want to experiment with ejaculation, try it on your own first to help reduce the pressure of performance and embrace your own reaction without focusing on any particular goal:
From the book of Trina:
“When I drip and come at the same time, I go bananas. I bite. I scream. Tom says my face contorts in a way like no other.” Trina, Age 45.
From the book of Lorna:
“My friends all want to learn how to spray. I’m the opposite. I wish it would stop. It feel alright, but it makes such a mess. It’s honestly not worth the hassle because it’s no better than a dryer orgasm.” Lauren, Age 33.
Dr. Jess Says...
Female ejaculation is not a sign of femininity or sexual responsiveness. Similarly, a wetter reaction does not necessarily indicate a more enjoyable experience or greater skills as a lover. Our culture is patently competitive, but sex shouldn’t be a competition. If your neighbors, friends or co-workers make you feel as though you are missing out on a sexual masterpiece, ignore them. Research shows that bragging about sex may trigger the same brain reactions as having sex, so perhaps they’re overcompensating…
This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.
Rough Transcript:
This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.
Your Guide to G-Spots & Squirting
Participant #1:
You're listening to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast sex and Relationship advice you can use tonight.
Participant #1:
Hello. Hello. This is Jess O'Reilly, your friendly neighborhood hood sexologist. And I am here to share the science of sex and relationships in a way that you can actually use it tonight to create hotter, more compatible relationships. Today's show is all about one of my favorite topics, Gspots and Squirting, and this episode is brought to you by Desire Resorts. They have two locations on the Mayan Riviera, just south of Cancun. I go there five to six times a year. And Desire is the adult playground where you can simply relax and reconnect with your partner, meet open minded couples, push your boundaries, get naked if you so choose or simply sit back and enjoy the show. Desire, of course, is taking their show on the road and on the open seas on their Venice cruise in September. I will be aboard sailing from Venice to Bologna to Dubrovnik in Croatia and a couple of other stops along the way. Very excited. So I hope to see you there. And it's quite fitting that my Gspots and Squirting episode is brought to you by Desire Resorts because Desire Riviera Maya Resort was the very first place I witnessed where I actually got to watch. As a student, I'm here to learn. I'm not just a pervert watching. I'm learning for you people. You're welcome. This is the first place where I witnessed a gusher orgasm. It was quite an experience. If we have time, I'll tell you a little bit about it, but we have a lot to cover, because this is your go to podcast guide to Gspots and Squirting, and there is a lot of information to share. I've got probably 25 different scientific facts and techniques that you can use to simulate the Gspot and experiment with these squirter gusher orgasms. So let's dive right into it, starting with the Gspot. Now, the Gspot isn't really a spot here's. A little bit of a misnomer. The Gspot is an area. All right? It's a series of nerve endings and tissues, and it's a real thing. I've read some headlines that the Gspot doesn't exist. We can get to why they say that in just a moment. But new research shows that the schemes glands are a part of the Gspot. They drain into the urethra. And in fact, these schemes glands are homologous to the prostate gland in men. So, in fact, in old medical textbooks, the G spot used to be labeled the female prostate. Now, the G spot or the G area isn't an anatomical entity, so it's not like an eyeball that you can extract. And this is part of why I think sometimes scientists who do autopsies will say, Well, the Gspot doesn't exist because it's not an anatomical entity. It's not like my liver. My liver is not doing well. I can't tap you on the shoulder and say, hey, my liver is not doing great. Can you donate me a piece of your liver? You can do that with the liver, but you can't do that with the G spot. So you got to work on your own G spot. And the Gspot is, in fact, considered to be a part of the clutoral complex. But you can't always easily find the Gspot. If right now, you just stick your fingers down there and start looking for it. Don't do it. Come on. It's not that kind of podcast. There are podcasts for that, but this is not one of them. Besides, I don't have one of those sexy voices anyhow. If you reach down there and look for the Gspot right now, you may not be able to find it because it's an area that swells with pleasure when you're aroused. So if your partner has a Gspot and she walks in the door and after a long day at work and she's starting to make dinner and you try and reach up there and find the G spot, you're going to get a knee to the garage. All right. Because it doesn't feel good at any point in time. And in fact, you can't always find it at any point in time. And of course, every Gspot is different. Every person's body is different. So we're going to be talking about the Gspot. We're also going to be talking about squirting because Gspot stimulation is associated with these squirting orgasms. So squirting is a word that is also a bit of a misnomer. All right. So you've probably accidentally in your travels, come across some porn, and in that porn, you've probably seen some squirting across the room that could ultimately take out the camera guy's eye. Right. It's a gusher. But in real life, for most of us, there is not a super. Soaker 2000 hidden up inside the vaginal. Okay. The average expulsion of fluid during female ejaculation is less than a teaspoon. And I know in porn it's like a bucket, right. If we could just get all these porn squirters together, we might be able to do something about the drought in California, but believe it or not, people take it from someone who spent some time on many a porn set. Yes, that's my job. My life sucks. I know you have to know this. Some things in porn are fake. That's right. Sometimes they come in twos, and that's okay, too. Some people will really squirt across the room. Some people will make a huge mess of the bed. But for many of us, it's not really a squirt. It's more of a dribble. All right. Every time you have a squirt or orgasm, you may not even notice. Actually, if you've ever been having sex and then you get up to go pee after sex, that's a good thing. You come back to the bed and there's a big wet spot. Yeah, that is a squared orgasm. And you just don't always notice it and then you see the wet spot, and you're all like, Babes, man, switch sides with me. I don't want to sleep in the wet spot. It's only fair. Yeah, I know. Worst ever. In fact. Well, squirting another piece about squirting. There's a lot of information here. Okay. Squirting or female ejaculation. Ejaculation and orgasm are two distinct processes. They often happen at the same time. But this isn't always the case. You can ejaculate without feeling the sensations of an orgasm, and you can have an orgasm without ejaculating. So I do believe that most people can learn to ejaculate to squirt, if that's the word you want to use, most people do ejaculate, many of you don't notice. But even though I can teach you, like, I'm not going to reach out and teach you, but I can teach you right now. We're going to learn some techniques in just a moment. We can teach you to ejaculate, and you can learn and experiment with your body and enjoy the process.
The bottom line is, some of you won't even like it. All right, so I kind of divide women who squirt into two categories. There's the ones who really love it. It's the end all be all. It is the best orgasm. It's the orgasm to end all orgasms, and they just love it. And then there's the ones who do their own laundry and they're like, oh, squirting. It's all right, man, but it's such a mess. So you might learn to squirt and love it. You might learn to squirt and not like it. Whatever your response is perfectly normal. So if you don't have a G spot or you're trying to get your partner to learn to have a Gspot squared orgasm, and you do these techniques that I'm going to walk you through, and she squirts and says she doesn't like it. Do not email me or tweet me and say, Doctor Jazz, something's wrong with my wife. Nothing is wrong with your wife, okay? She is the expert in her body. I am not the expert in her body. I don't want to be the expert in any more bodies. Really seen enough of them done. Enough of them. Okay, so wetter isn't always better when it comes to orgasm. Some people like it, and some people think it's just one way to create another load of laundry. Another thing. Just because you squirt a lot doesn't mean your orgasm is more intense. Now, again, I know for some of you, squirter orgasms are the most intense orgasms. But for some of you, this is not the case. Some of you will squirt a lot. Some of you will squirt a little. It's okay. But don't be one of those braggers, okay? Who's like, oh, my gosh, you haven't lived until you've squirted. No, you've got to try. You got to learn to squirt like me. No, don't brag about it. It's kind of like sweating. Okay, so I'm a really sweaty person so sweat and ejaculation, you don't really control how much you sweat or how much you ejaculate. But I don't walk around bragging. Oh, I'm so sweaty. I'm sweating in places you couldn't imagine. You haven't lived until you sweat like me. No, that would be ridiculous. So same thing with squirting if you love it good for you. But don't force it upon others. Going back to the Gspot, I want to remind you that it's not a magic button. Okay. If you like having your Gspot played with that's perfectly normal. And if you don't like having your Gspot played with that's, okay, too. Just because you read it in a magazine and heard it on a podcast doesn't mean that it applies to every single person out there. All right. So trust your partner's guidance. It's not all about what I have to say, not a button. All right. Now that we've got some of the science out of the way. Oh, I should mention that the fluid that is expelled during female ejaculation is quite similar to the contents of prostatic fluid in men minus the semen. So it's got some of those minerals, the urea in. It all that fun stuff, but no sperm, obviously. So we got the science out of the way. Let's talk about where you find the Gspot. So you'll often hear that the Gspot is inside the vagina, but it's not actually inside the vagina. It's accessible through the vagina. All right, so the schemes glands are embedded in the urethral tissue. That's the spongy tissue that surrounds the urethra. So in really simplified terms, it's between the upper vaginal wall and the inner bladder wall. All right. So it's a really oversimplification, non scientific. It is squished between the bladder and the vagina. That's where you're going to find the Gspot. Now, you're not going to actually get in there because there's no way to access it. But you can feel it through the vagina. As I said, if you reach in right now, you might not feel it. But if you reach in, press your fingers up toward the stomach wall. When you are aroused, when you're turned on, the blood rushes to that area, it engorges with blood. I know. Great dirty talk, right? I can feel your upper vaginal wall engoraging with blood. No, not hot at all. Okay. Not hot at all. So if you reach on the side of the vagina, when you're turned on up toward the tummy wall, not very deep at all. You might start to feel an area that is a little bit Ridge like or puffy or more firm or protruding. That is the G area. So most people teach that you curl a finger inside and you just do a come hither motion up toward the tummy wall with your, say, index finger. Like you're saying, come here. Now, you can use your fingers or you can use a toy, a vibrator. Heck, you could use a penis if that's the kind of thing you're into. So I've got my we vibe glow. That also it can be used on its own, or it can be used with the vibrating Tango. And it helps you to access the Gspot really, really easily in terms of techniques, I promise you, we will get to the squirting techniques in just a minute. I guess it's the grand finale, but there are other techniques to stimulate the Gspot. You can stimulate the G spot without forcing yourself to a gusher orgasm. Okay, it's not really about the destination or the finale. It's about the journey and enjoying yourself. So one of my favorite moves is the windshield Wiper. So you take your index and middle finger, you slide into the vagina, you press gently up against the tummy wall so the upper wall of the vagina, and you just kind of swish your fingers slowly, gently back and forth like a windshield Wiper. Or like you're going TikTok on one of those old clocks. So that's one option, the windshield Wiper. Another option is the come hither, where you simply take a couple of fingers, slide inside and curl them upwards back toward yourself. Like you're enticing that G spot to come toward you. Alternatively, you could do a gentle tap where you take a couple of fingers, press up against the G spot and tap very gently. You could roll your fingers around in big, sweeping ovals. You could take a vibrator and pulse against that spot and a reminder that before you really start putting pressure on the G spot, and before you even consider trying to induce Gspot orgasm, you want to get all riled up, get, like, 70 or 80% of the way to orgasm. Oftentimes people will say that they don't like having their G spot stimulated, and sometimes it's because they're doing it too early in the sexual response cycle, so they're not turned on, and then they go poking and prodding same thing with the cervix, which we can talk about another time. So the more turned on you are, the better it's going to feel when you're turned on. When you're highly aroused, you've got the endorphins flooding your body. You've got the adrenaline going oxytocin levels are high, and that oxytocin has a palliative effect on the body, meaning that your pain thresholds double in fact, when you're highly arrest. So there are a couple of techniques for you. You can also simulate the Gspot during intercourse. If you're having intercourse with a penis or a strap on. Sure you can do that too.
Okay, I know you're going to read a lot of headlines that say these are positions to simulate the G spot. And the bottom line is that there are no positions guaranteed to hit the G spot, because even though we know from MRI sex research, when people actually climb into the MRI machine and get paid to have sex, even though we know that positions in which the person with the penises on top tend to hit the front wall of the vagina so close to the G spot. It's not universally applicable because vaginas all have different tilts and penises angle differently. They have different curves. So you have to experiment to figure out how to hit your G spot, but you definitely want a shallow position. And generally speaking, I would say that if the person with the G spot sits on top, they'll have more control over the pressure, the rhythm, the speed, the angle. And they'll be more likely to not only hit their Gspot, but also they'll be able to experience and observe the Gspot Ejaculatory orgasm. So if you want to see the squirting, being upright is going to facilitate that now. All right. If you're interested in squirting, I am going to describe describe a technique that I did learn. As I said to you, I learned it down at Desire Resorts, and it was in a private space where somebody was willing to do a demo. And this was maybe eleven or twelve years ago, so I was pretty skeptical. I was thinking, oh, come on. There's no one technique that makes all Gspot squirt, and this guy lined up a bunch of women and they were already aroused because I'm not going to tell you why, but they were already aroused and they all squared. And it was really interesting to watch. Actually, it was really uncomfortable to watch as an unaroused observer, just because it's quite a rough technique. So if you're not aroused and you try this technique, it's probably going to hurt. As I said, if you try this on your partner, you're going to get a knee to the head or knee to the crotch. But if they're aroused and into it and breathing deeply and relaxing and bearing down, it can be really hot. So this is the technique you take a couple of fingers. Some experts will say, oh, you need to use the middle finger and ring finger. I say, use whatever two fingers are most comfortable for you. For me, that's my middle and index finger. I will take those two fingers and slide it into her vagina and go back and forth really, really fast and hard against the G spot in a come hither motion. What I'm doing here is putting pressure on the urethral sponge from the inside. This is not enough. In most cases, if you want to take it to the next level and really stimulate the Gspot from the inside out, you're also going to take your other hand and press down on her lower stomach wall so your fingers are inside saying, come hither hard hard against the G spot, and then your hand on the outside is pressing on her lower abdominal wall to squeeze the Gspot between the bladder and the vaginal canal. I wish I had video for this. I don't hear, but I do have a webinar series. If you're on my website where I walk you through these techniques. And of course, many, many, many more. Those are the Sexual Pro series Webinars. You can find those, and I walk you through while a model demonstrates on some fruits and vegetables. So we're going hard against the Gspot on the inside, you're pressing down on the outside, you're getting it from the inside out. The person with the G spot is breathing deeply, relaxing. And some women say that they're more likely to squirt if they bear down with their pelvic floor muscles. So if you know what a Kegel is, I bet you just did a Kegel. I know. I just did a Kegle, too. If you know what a Kegel is bearing down is the opposite of a Kegel. So oftentimes when we have clitoral orgasms, we tense up like we're squeezing our pelvic floor muscles and engaging them with a Gspot and gusher orgasm. Women say that they need to let go and push out, and this facilitates not only the orgasmic sensations, but relaxation and the ejaculation or squirting. So you need to be breathing deeply. There are things you can do to prepare for Gspot and gusher orgasms, and just for sexual functioning in general, one of the most important is to tone your pelvic floor and work your PC muscles, make sure they're healthy. And we used to say, do Kegels, do geeky. Do ketosis. But now we know that in fact, you should see a pelvic floor therapist because there is no one set of exercises that works for everyone. And some people, in fact, like me, shouldn't be doing Kegels because we're just too damn tense. That's another story altogether. I'm actually going to speak to a pelvic floor therapist on an upcoming episode as well. So you're breathing. You're doing this technique. Your pelvic floor is toned. You're not doing this in the beginning. You're waiting until you're 80% of the way to orgasm and you're bearing down and you just see what happens. I don't want you to obsess over squirting again. There is no prize for squirting. You're not better than your neighbor. If you're squirt. If your partner is involved in the squirting process, or as they often like to say, I made her squirt, it doesn't make them a better lover. So you're enjoying the process and just observing, getting to know your body. If you squirt, you're squirt, and it means more laundry. And if you don't, that's okay, too. Now, if you do all this and you don't like it, something is wrong with you. No, just kidding. Nothing's wrong with you. Okay. I always use the example of foot massages. So some of us love having our feet massaged. If you like having your feet massaged, nod your head. All right. Okay. I can feel it. I can feel it. Lots of you like having your feet massaged. Some people, on the other hand, do not even like having their feet touched. Nod your head if that's you. I do not like having my feet touched. I'm not saying that I like having my feet touched. If you don't like having your feet touched, that's normal, too. You're all perfectly normal, except the people who don't like having their feet. No, just kidding. You're all normal. Okay?
I'm not going to talk you into liking something you don't like, but I do want to say this. If you are not into Gspot play, I do suggest that you give it more than one shot, because sometimes your first time A is very nerve wracking, so you don't really enjoy the process. And B, if it's at a specific time in your cycle, you may experience it differently. So try it again in two weeks, so that your cervical position, your cervical mucus. Everything that's going on down there with your menstrual cycle is a little bit different because we do experience pleasure and pain and discomfort differently depending on where we are in our menstrual cycle. So just like, if you go wine tasting, you cannot taste the wine on your first sip. You have to wait until the second, right? You take a small sip and then you take your second sip to actually taste it. Some of us do it on the second glass. But that's another story. Or if you visit a city, I always find that you never really get a taste for the city until your second visit back. Same thing with everything sexual. So I know people say I'll try anything once. My motto is that I will try anything twice. So give it a second try. Now, I want to talk very briefly about the science of the Gspot because the Gspot is an interesting area of the genital region in that it communicates with the brain in a different way than the clitoris and the vagina. So you've got the pelvic nerve down there. The pudendal nerve communicating with the brain via, as you know, the spinal cord. But what researchers have learned from doing research with people with full spinal cord injury is that they can, in fact, have orgasms, too, despite the fact that there's no communication via the spinal cord and what they find when they put these people in an MRI machine and they're stimulated to orgasm despite full spinal cord injury, is that the part of the brain associated with the vagus nerve lights up. Now, the vagus nerve is exceptional because what happens in the vagus nerve stays in the just kidding. That was a dad joke. I'll let it go. The vagus nerve is different than the pudendal nerve and the pelvic nerve in that it wanders throughout the body and communicates with the brain, bypassing the spinal cord. This is such interesting research because it shows me someone who didn't believe this years ago that there actually are different types of orgasms. So even if you don't have a spinal cord injury, this is applicable to you because imagine if you stimulate the head of the clitoris and the Gspot at the same time. And you've got two different nerve pathways communicating with the brain to create this incredible overload orgasm. So there's lots of things you can do with the Gspot. I always tell people. Oh, please, please do not feel that because you are experimenting with the Gspot and a squared orgasm that you have to stick to that region alone. All right. You can simulate the G spot and stimulate the butt and stimulate the nipples or stimulate the clitoris. All right. You don't need to make it Gspot Mondays and Clotoral Thursdays. No. Okay. You can put them all together. So you've got a lot of information here. Oh, I want to talk about one other thing because I always get questions about pee. This concern with regard to urinating during sex can really inhibit our sexual response and limit our experiences of pleasure with G spots and potentially ejaculation. Now, the schemes glands are embedded in the spongy tissue that surrounds the urethra between the vagina and the bladder. So therefore, it's common for women to feel as though they have to go pee when the G spot area is simulated through the vagina or through the abdominal wall. So we feel like we have to pee and it's not pee. All right? It's not pee. I can talk more about that. But overwhelmingly, we know that it's not P. There can be exceptions where some P comes out, and that's not a big deal. All right. But because we feel like we have to pee when you stimulate the Gspot, many of us tense up. We tense our pelvic floor muscles, or we see stimulation altogether, and then we Ward off orgasm entirely. So rest assured that although it's possible for Ejaculate to contain some traces of P, you can just empty your bladder before sex to alleviate this concern. And if you did release a small amount of PE due to the pressure on your bladder and your Rethal sponge, it's no big deal. It's harmless. It's like Ejaculation, and it's going to go unnoticed. So don't worry about the P. That's a lot of info. The takeaway I want you to really, I guess hold on to right now is that everybody is different. You may or may not like this. Enjoy the process. It's not a circus trick. Okay. I mean, you could I maybe charge people to watch, but that's a whole other story, but it's not a circus trick. And there's, like I said, no super. Soaker up there. So just experiment with some of these techniques, see how it goes for you. Don't worry if you ejaculate a lot or ejaculate a little. All I hope is that it actually feels good. All right. If you have more questions about the Gspot and squirting, you can, of course, post them up on my Instagram and Twitter and Facebook, and I'll do my best to get back to you that was a mouthful. That was a long one for me. I hope you all stay dry. Actually, no. I hope you get wet. I want to thank again. Desire Resorts please follow up Desire Resorts on Twitter and send Facebook and maybe follow me across the world to Italy and Croatia on their Venice cruise this fall. I can't wait. That's all we've got for you today. Until next time. Grab an umbrella. Make sure you don't get any of that fun stuff in your eye, and I will look for your comments on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and see you next week. You're listening to the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast Improve Your Sex Life improve Your life.
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