Sex therapist Shamyra Howard joins Jess to talk about how to have happier relationships — with yourself, family, friends and partner(s). She talks about how to apologize effectively and why your partner doesn’t want you to be sorry — they want you to be better. Shamyra also offers strategies to:

• Manage jealousy and overcome insecurities
• Validate your partner and differentiate between validation and affirmation
• Understand differences as opposed to simply accepting them

Check out Shamyra's Sexuality Superhero feature here.

See some more of Shamyra's pearls of wisdom below...

 

 

 

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You know what's sexy? Vulnerability is a word we use often but what does it mean for relationships and why does it matter? Relationships are all about feeling safe enough to take emotional risks knowing that this person has the ability to hurt you, but relying on your own ability to trust yourself to show up. This happens best with an...

Are you single and dating? If so, you may be scrolling, swiping and meeting up with new folks daily and with so many options, it can be difficult to decide whether to not someone is a good fit for you.

A @SexWithDrJess Podcast listener recently asked me if there are any red flags to look out for early on in the dating relationship, so I’m sharing a few with you below.

If you have sex, dating and relationship questions, submit them here. We love to hear from you!

They express a desire to have you all to themselves. Is your new partner is critical of your friends and family? Do they suggest that you don’t need them or try to isolate you from your social circle? They may suggest that they love you so much that they’re trying to protect you. And they might assure you that you’re simply too good of your friends and family. This attempt to isolate you and make your new relationship the centre of your life may be a red flag that their controlling behaviour will...

Austin-based sex therapist, Adam Maurer, joins Jess to share straightforward insights for happier relationships. They discuss JODO, setting boundaries, managing let-down, dealing with personality differences (e.g. introverts versus extroverts) and a simple weekly ritual to improve communication, understanding and intimacy.

Follow Adam on Instagram, and check out moontowercounseling.com. Adam will also be in the Bedpost Confessions from October 23-25. Check it out!

This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible.

And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

When people hear that I’m a sexologist, they assume that I talk about orgasms, blow jobs and sexual dysfunction. And while I do talk about the big ohhh, sexual skills and overcoming common sexual problems, in reality, I spend most of my time talking about relationships because sex doesn’t occur in a vacuum and not all relationships are sexual.

In the upcoming month, for example, I’ll be working with corporate groups and private groups of entrepreneurs who want to improve their relationships — in their homes and in their workplaces, because they know that investing in relationships in the workplace is essential to sustaining and fuelling growth in their businesses.

Whether you run a small bakery or a transnational consulting firm, the who often matters more than the what and how much when it comes to thriving businesses — including the bottom line. 

This morning, I sat down with Jeff and Carolyn on The Morning Show to discuss the effect of...

Intimacy means different things to different people. For some, sexual intimacy involves feeling loved and close to their partner. To others, intimacy involves an experience of spiritual or euphoric connection. For kinky folks, intimate sex might involve injecting elements of emotional or physical vulnerability.

However you define intimacy, consider these approaches to enhance your intimate connection with your lover.

Make eye contact. Research suggests that eye contact with a loved one results in a spike in oxytocin — the hormone that spikes right before orgasm and is associated with bonding. Eye contact during sex can intensify the connection, but it is not uncommon for people to avoid face-to-face positions on account of self-consciousness, discomfort or embarrassment. To ease yourselves into full eye-contact during sex play, start with the lights low or take turns wearing a blindfold as you become more comfortable with your natural facial expressions in response...

Jess discusses emotional vulnerability, sexual shame, strategies for discussing sexual needs, why some people cheat and the Madonna/whore dichotomy with Toronto-based sex therapist, Kat Kova. Kat also helps Jess to open up about her greatest sexual fear.

This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible.

And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate...

Before we get started, I want to direct you to an even better article about how to pleasure the clitoris and vulva. No bias here, I swear. OK — maybe I’m a little biased. I just love vulval pleasure!

But back to the topic at hand…

If you want to give the best blow job ever, my best advice to is talk to your partner about your desires and ask them to share theirs.

A rich body of research and a small dose of common sense reveals that talking about sex makes for better sex — no surprise.

Unfortunately, most of us are more comfortable having sex than talking about it.

But I want to talk about it. And I want you to talk about it. Because the uncomfortable conversations are often the most fruitful ones. And talking about sex often leads to sex and apparently people like sex.

Beyond the importance of open, non-judgmental communication, consider these practical approaches and techniques:

1. Be selfish. Focus on your pleasure rather than your performance. It’s...

How can you reduce the negative effects of technology on your relationship? And how can you move on and rebuild after you’ve cheated on your partner? Jess and Brandon share their thoughts in response to listener questions.

Oftentimes when we ask something of our partner, we need to begin with ourselves. Before you try to convince your partner to put down their phone, ask yourself if you need to do the same. Even if you allow it to interfere to a lesser degree, every time you’re on yours, they're likely to pick up their own.

And when it comes to cheating: you can move on and have a happy relationship after an affair. Begin by taking responsibility, getting help, tracking your progress, and making space for negative feelings and interactions.

Please see some rough notes below...

How do I get my wife to put down her phone?

Great question! Oftentimes when we ask something of our partner, we need to begin with ourselves. I was working with a group of couples the other day...

The weekend is upon us and if you don’t mindfully carve out quality time with your partner, you may find that you only spend time together as roommates or co-parents.  Just as you have to plan and dedicate time to fitness, health and business, you need to specifically schedule time to be together as a couple. The beginning of the weekend is a great time to create a ritual that remind you both that you’re intimately connected — you don’t just live together, but you share an intimate bond that is worth nurturing.

Here are a few options for jump-starting your connection today:

1. Eliminate technoference. Put your phones in a box and place them in the car, a cupboard or in the basement. The mere presence of a cell phone (even if it’s in your pocket) detracts from connection, trust and collaboration, so invest in quality time with your partner at least once a week. You’ll naturally practice being present and mindful without distractions and this...

Jess joined Vikki and Jeff this morning to discuss the role celebrity relationships play in our lives. They also talked about how to “future-proof” your relationship. Check out the summary and video below.

1. Why are we so concerned about celebrity relationships when we don’t even know these people?

We feel as though we know them because social media offers what seems like an intimate glimpse into their world. Snaps and stories, in particular, create a false sense of connection because they’re behind-the-scenes glimpses of the mundane or everyday habits.

Perceived relationships with celebrities or online personalities can seem to fulfill major factors of relationships:

Intimate sharing which results in an emotional reaction and endures over time.

But this relationship only goes one way and is a parasocial interaction.

2. Why are we so affected when celebrities (total strangers) break up?

We see celebrities as aspirational and we idealize their lives —...