Check out this week's Sexuality Superhero! Meet Karen Kaz Lucas. Using her influence from her entertaining days, Kaz started The Spread podcast. Finding that sexual health resources were limited in Kenya, her goal was to create a safe digital space where sex education, sexual identities and inclusivity are thoroughly understood. Read her feature below.
How did you find yourself working in sexuality?
I stumbled into this field out of the important things, passion and need. In Kenya there is a huge gap in the sex education industry and so many people are operating from a point of fear. I am using predominantly digital spaces to help everyone recreate their own sexual stories and not based on those told to them from fundamentalist perspectives.
What is the best part of the job?
Learning. Everyday I get to learn something new. I am open to the endless possibilities and I get to meet and interact with so many people across the world and discuss how...
We have a new Sexuality Superhero this week! Meet Dr. Megan Stubbs. As a sexologist, Megan often talks about the relationship between science and sex. She is a speaker, appears frequently on radio and television programming, and writes for many well-known media outlets and publications. Check out her feature below!
How did you find yourself working in sexuality?
I think it was my destiny to become a sexologist. I was always that friend you went to growing up to ask about ‘sex stuff’. Of course, growing up when I did, a sexologist was never a job that you saw on career day. I had a keen aptitude for the sciences, biology in particular, so I thought ‘Ok, let’s go to school to become a medical doctor.’ During undergrad I did really well in my biology courses, but realized that chemistry and I were not compatible haha. I dropped my pre-med emphasis and just wanted to get out alive with my general biology degree. All the while I was still that friend you...
Say hello to this week's Sexuality Superhero, Wendy Miller. Wendy and Jess go way back to their days on set of Playboy TV's Swing. Since then, Wendy has written and produced numerous TV episodes, has become a distinguished comedy writer, and has created her own podcast. Read her feature below and learn more!
How did you find yourself working in sexuality?
Completely by accident. I was hired by Playboy TV to completely reinvent their programming and create premium adult shows for couples to enjoy together. Immediately, I had to surround myself with the best sex educators in the world in order to become an expert myself. Spending time with various sex educators, swingers and adventurous couples; and hanging out on the set of shows such as Swing taught me a lot more about sex than I ever expected.
What is the best part of the job?
Knowing that I was helping couples stay sexually in sync while getting to spend time with really open-minded people who are adventurous, less judgmental and...
This week, meet Kevin Patterson. Kevin is a polyamorous blogger and sex-positive podcaster. Kevin's goal is to raise awareness about polyamorous relationships - the good and the bad. His blog, Poly Role Models, discusses the struggles, the history, and dynamics of being in a polyamorous relationship. Read his feature below.
How did you find yourself working in sexuality?
I've got this one thing I do really well. I talk about myself and my experiences in a relatable way. The good and the bad. I spoke at length about my experiences as a polyamorous black man and people just started listening. I wasn't looking to blaze any trails, but suddenly that's what I was doing. A partner of mine suggested that I start speaking in educational spaces and writing books. It all sounded way out of my range, but I did it anyway and have been pretty successful with it.
What is the best part of the job?
When I started out my polyamorous journey, I felt really isolated by way of race. I still...
Another week, another Sexuality Superhero! This week, meet relationship and sexual wellness coach, Dr. Maha Nasrallah-Babenko. Dr. Maha has worked with many couples facing all sorts of relationship challenges, from communication issues to common sexual difficulties. Get to know her work a little better, and read her feature below.
How did you find yourself working in the field of sexuality?
It was literally a light-bulb moment. I was in London completing my PhD in Psychology, and a conversation with my sisters about relationships just sparked this idea. The more I looked into it, the more interested I became. I decided to apply for a 2-year Diploma in Psychosexual and Relationship Counseling, and I absolutely fell in love with the program once I was in it. Not only was I interested in relationships, love, and intimacy, but I also very much enjoyed seeing couples reconnect, and connecting with the clients myself. In addition, I'm always fascinated by the field, and love that...
Meet Dirty Lola. She's this week's Sexuality Superhero! Lola is a sex podcast producer, a sex store manager, sex educator, and "edutainer". Check out her work and advice below.
How did you find yourself working in sexuality?
My career path has been a wild one. I started out talking about sex and writing micro erotica on Twitter and Tumblr in 2010. During that time, I was also hosting burlesque shows in NY. I was able to use these platforms to express my sexuality and share all of the sex knowledge I had picked up over the years. I was also able to connect with the sex-positive community via these platforms which led to me attending my sexuality conference, Catalyst Con. It was during that conference when I decided I wanted to find a way to combine my love for burlesque with my love for sex-ed. This was the birth of what would eventually become my live sex-ed Q&A variety show Sex Ed A Go Go.
Producing Sex Ed A Go Go made me realize I needed to get away from the 9-5 office...
This week, get to know Southern Sexologist, Tanya M. Bass. Tanya is the lead instructor for Human Sexuality at NCCU's Department of Public Health Education. Additionally, she's a conference organizer, an expert who's heavily involved in community-based organizations, and there's no doubt she's a sexual health influencer extraordinaire. Tanya is spreading the sex-positive knowledge far and wide, so check out her feature below.
How did you find yourself working in the field of sexuality?
You could say it was “phone sex”! I started as a Public Health Educator and my first job related to sex was as a communication specialist at the American Sexual Health Association (ASHA). I helped get information to people over the phone at the National STD hotline. I answered questions from all over the nation and I think that is when I truly became interested in sexuality. Later, I started working in various areas of sexual health for the state and local health departments, as well...
Resentment is often rooted in ruminating on a negative feeling (e.g. anger) and replaying the events associated with this feeling. It’s often the result of a long history of unhappiness or feelings of injustice and because it’s associated with the past, its present-day triggers can be unpredictable and seemingly innocuous.
Unlike other feelings that can threaten a relationship like anger and frustration, resentment will rarely subside on its own, as it builds and intensifies over time. It can be one of the most difficult feelings to address and overcome, as it often indicates an unwillingness to forgive and a history of repeated behaviour.
Some signs that your partner is resentful:
1. They express anger at the very first sign of conflict, frustration or hurt. If they blow up over the little things (and they didn’t used to react this way), it’s possible that their feelings of frustration have built into resentment and there is a near-constant anger bubbling...
This week's Sexuality Superhero is Carly Steif. Carly is a professional sex educator, sex blogger and sex communicator extraordinaire! She manages the Pleasure Chest in NYC (Manhattan location), and has been featured in countless media outlets and podcasts. Check out her feature below.
How did you find yourself working in sexuality?
I was always "that friend" who answered friends' sex questions, then when I was in college I was the secretary then president of the Queer Student Union where we held events from BDSM 101, sex toys 101, Trans vocab events and more. This was really where I was like, this is fun and I can do this! I was working for a Harley-Davidson dealership and the general air of misogyny was really disheartening then I saw a job post for the Pleasure Chest, applied, and the rest is history.
What is the best part of the job?
Those light bulb moments you give people that helps them realize their pleasure potential. Sometimes someone will tell you about a personal...
We’ve all seen that couple eating their dinner in silence at a restaurant. Uptowners Emi and Jim were petrified that this would be their future. After eight years of marriage, they’ve honed their communication skills when it comes to expressing their needs and resolving conflict, but they’ve developed some very bad habits with regard to their daily conversations.
“It feels like we’re running a business instead of a family,” says Emi. “I’m afraid if you take away work, the kids and the in-laws, we’d have nothing left to talk about and really grow apart.”
This is a valid concern. Though no conversation on its own will ruin a relationship, reducing your communication to practical discussions alone is sure to detract from the passion, intimacy and eroticism most couples crave.
To keep the passion alive, talk about your big dreams, greatest fears, philosophical quandaries and topics that get you all fired up. And make...
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