The following an excerpt from Dr. Jess' article published by iVillage Canada: "Cute, sweet and perfect on paper. Why aren't we clicking?"

If you’ve ever fallen head over heels for the Mr. Wrong (and who hasn’t?), you know that the laws of attraction are both a science and a mystery. Sometimes we find ourselves inexplicably attracted to a man who brings us nothing but drama while the perfect gentleman goes completely unnoticed. Sorry guys!

I hear it from women in the dating game all the time. They meet and connect with a guy who is perfect on paper, but they just don’t seem to click. He’s handsome, kind, funny and caring -- a perfect 10. But sexually, they just can’t seem to get beyond first gear -- or first base.

Most of these women start to blame themselves and wonder if something is wrong with them. They label themselves as self-destructive or damaged when in most cases, nothing could be farther than the truth. Sexual chemistry is a complex...

Feeling itchy and scratchy? Does it burn when you pee? Are you sexually active? If you follow my work, you’ll know that I don’t use scare tactics in my practice and I celebrate sex for all its glorious pleasure potential. However, partnered sex of all varieties and even safer sex with condoms carries some risk of sexually transmitted infection (STI), so taking your health into your own hands is of utmost importance.

As a young professional, you take care of your health: you make an effort to eat well (weekends don’t count), exercise (dancing all night qualifies) and achieve a healthy work-life balance (unless it is month or quarter-end). Taking care of your sexual health should therefore be a no-brainer. After all, sex feels good, carries a host of health benefits and is ultimately, the life force.

So, where should you begin? First and foremost, safer sex is an absolute must. STI and HIV rates continue to rise, so barrier methods like condoms need to be used...

Having trouble reaching the big Ohhh? You're not alone. A lack of physical stimulation (where it counts), relationship strife, hormonal shifts, mood, pelvic floor tone and intrusive thoughts can all interfere with your ability to orgasm, but this week I've seen half a dozen women who presented with similar challenges: their orgasms are being impeded by a combination performance pressure, "spectatoring" and stress.

Since their experience is so common, we've outlined more about these obstacles and how to overcome them below:

1. Performance Pressure is one of the biggest detractors from sexual pleasure. While men may feel pressure to last longer and be harder, women also feel pressure to “perform” in the bedroom. In my Rock His World workshops, I always remind women that my goal is to offer new ideas and inspire them to feel confident — as fun as it is to learn new sex moves (and practice on carrots!), being a great lover isn’t only about technique. In...

Let’s face it, our bodies don’t always cooperate with us. For men whose erections disappear at an inopportune time the stress and discomfort can be overwhelming but, it doesn’t have to be.

Every man is going to have to deal with losing an erection at some point in his life and if you’re the partner on the other end, you can rest assured that it has nothing to do with you. It’s not your body, your touch or your technique that is keeping him from getting it up. It could be a physiological issue (e.g. high blood pressure, circulation problems, nerve damage or certain medications), but if it happens only once-in-a-while, it may simply be attributable to a bit of anxiety, stress or pressure.

So let him know that it’s no big deal. Don’t overdo it, but do tell him that it’s okay and that it’s perfectly normal. Because it really is! And then kindly demand (is that possible?) that he continue to focus on your pleasure. Yup. It’s not...

As a sexologist, clients come to me with a wide range of issues: from broken penises (please don’t come to my office - go straight to the hospital and don’t pass GO!) to the joys and complexities of multiple orgasms, each person’s story is unique. But as much as every story is personal and one-of-a-kind, the issue of sexual compatibility in relationships is a theme that arises with almost every client I see.

This is because sexual compatibility matters in relationships. Thanks to the rules of monogamy, achieving a degree of compatibility in bed is essential to relationship success and satisfaction. Check out these 5 tips for understanding and developing sexual compatibility:

Sexual compatibility takes work.

Like all good things, sexual compatibility doesn’t always develop naturally - it really does take work. This is because sexual desires and expectations are highly personal, so even if you share a lot in common with your partner, there are bound to be...

Should you fake orgasms?

Probably not. A one-off performance may not cause much damage, but tread lightly, as faking can easily become a bad habit.

In a perfect world, you wouldn’t need to fake orgasms for your own sake or your partner’s. However, the reality is that almost all women have put on an Oscar-worthy performance at least once.

But why do women fake orgasms? These are a few of the reasons I’ve heard:

“I just needed to get him out of there! Like ASAP.”

“He had no clue what he was doing — and he wasn’t about to figure it out in the next 20 minutes, so I ended it”

“It just makes him happy.”

“I don’t even know what an orgasm really feels like.”

“I knew it just wasn’t going to happen. Sometimes you just know.”

“I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.”

“He kept asking if I’d come yet — that gets annoying, right?”

“It was getting late...

I got a cold sore a few weeks back. It was really no surprise since stress is my main trigger and I’d been working on the road for five weeks living out of hotel rooms. When I landed back in Toronto, I felt the tingle on my way to an evening of events. I turned to my partner and exclaimed, “I think I’m getting a cold sore. I’m excited!”

Also a cold sore sufferer (since his toddler years just like me), he was obviously perplexed by my exclamation. “What?”

“I’ll finally get a chance to try that Cold Sore FX,” I explained.

“Awesome!” He responded with more than a hint of sarcasm.

Cold Sore FX caught my attention a few months back, as they’ve been working to de-stigmatize cold sores and correct misinformation about the virus and breakouts. They’ve also done a whole whack of research (the biggest study in Canada) as part of this campaign and as a sexologist, some of the findings were alarming –...

And What Was Missing in the Morning

This is a true story from a brave client who is willing to re-tell it for our education and amusement.

I receive lots of great stories from clients all over the world, but this one stands out because it reinforces one of my Mind-Blowing-Sex gold rules: Lube changes your life!

After sharing this pearl of wisdom with the 70 brave women who attended The Greatest Sex of Your Life event a few weeks back, one smart (and very pretty) lady approached me to tell me just how much she agreed with my take on lube. Here is her story…

A few days ago, I decided to engage in my first one night stand…with a hot Argentinian polo player.

Hot and well-hung, he claims that it’s impossible to cum with the condom on because the little buggers are just too tight for his massive manhood. So to make the experience better for him, I grab my travel-sized version of Maximus lube and start giving him a very slippery hand job. He seems to enjoy this very...

Many thanks to Warren for sharing his real story of how he broke his penis:

Last weekend, I was at my local sex club around 2AM in full view of several others and having intercourse from behind with my girlfriend in our regular rough manner (she likes the hair pulling, and the bum slapping, etc.) when I suddenly slipped out and then tried to immediately reinsert. But she must have zigged and I’ve always been much more of a zagger, because I think I hit her taint on the way in and thus, crumpled my penis. It hurt a good deal and it didn’t pop or bend really so much as…well, crumple. It started to bleed substantially and I thought it must have ripped the skin which I knew was no big deal so I wasn’t too freaked out at this time. Turns out the bleeding was coming from the inside and stopped rather quickly as soon as the urethra shut down altogether, which as it happens, was very bad. Penis-threateningly bad.

We prepared to leave the Club and I paid the...

We may be nearing the end of January, but this article was originally posted on LisaLiving as proof that I did write my resolutions in time for the new year:)

From LisaLiving:

As the new year rolls in, we tend to focus on resolutions to improve our overall health. Gym memberships fly of the shelf, diet products sell out in response to turkey overload (how blessed we are to eat until we're full!) and new programs to quit our not-so-healthy habits make headlines with stories of success. It really is an exciting time and I think everyone deserves and can benefit from the feeling of a fresh start!

While you're making resolutions to live a better life and become a better version of yourself, be sure to take some time to look at your relationships. It only takes a few minutes, but thinking about your connections with friends, family, partners and co-workers can help you gain a new perspective on the ways in which you interact with others. Healthy relationships are of paramount...