1. How important is Valentine’s Day?

• I don’t think Valentine’s Day is particularly important in many relationships; in fact, I’m not a huge fan of V-Day, as I believe it often relegates romance, intimacy, and eroticism to one day per year. You’re better off investing in your relationship on a daily basis as opposed to relying on one grand gesture to reignite the spark. Having said that, if it’s important to you, that’s all that matter. You’re the expert in your own needs and relationship.

2. How do you get away from the predictable chocolate, flowers, and dinner?

• Volunteer! It makes you more attractive and is associated with increased levels of happiness and health. Whether the relationship is casual or you’re planning for the long-term, you’ll be creating a good habit for yourself (and your partner) moving forward.
• Take a single friend or older neighbour out to dinner. As you spread the love and positive vibes, your relationship will thrive.

3. What should you do if you w...

Do it in the Morning

This Valentine’s Day, kickstart your morning with a passionate lovemaking session and let your intimacy soar alongside levels of your feel-good hormone, oxytocin.

I know. I hear over and over again that most women don’t like morning sex, but there are a number of good reasons to reconsider this timely sex act. Not only are men’s testosterone levels higher in the morning, but physical sensations are often heightened after a good night’s sleep making the body more responsive to touch. Research even suggests that couples who get frisky in the morning are happier and healthier thanks to the cardio workout, improved blood circulation and the palliative effect of orgasm. So this year, trade in the heart-shaped breakfast-in-bed pancakes for a morning quickie that will leave you both feeling refreshed, connected and blissfully in love.

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Abstain

This modern bride’s trick is designed to build anticipation before the big day, but the same approach can be empl...

Valentine’s Day may be a commercial holiday and you’ve probably heard me bemoan the risk of relegating romance and intimacy to one day per year. However, if you like V-day and want to celebrate, that’s all that matters. So here are a few ideas for sexy gifts that won’t break the bank:

• Print some sexy coupons for your partner to redeem at his/her leisure. Some ideas for sexy gifts include erotic massages using body parts other than your hands, “non-reciprocated” oral sex, a candlelit dinner in the nude, chocolate body painting, afternoon delight, a morning quickie, a bondage session and a naked sponge bath. Though this idea is not new, these coupons are great for breaking the ice, initiating sexual activity and introducing new “moves” into your repertoire.
• Watch a full-length erotic/dirty movie together and see how long you can stay focused on the “plot” before being inspired to make your own.
• Surprise your lover by sending an explicit card or flowers to their workplace from a “sec
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1. How often should a couple be having sex/ how often is normal?

• The average is “several times per month to weekly”, but ultimately what works for one couple will not necessarily work for another, so you need to communicate your needs to the each other.
• Sexual frequency is positively correlated with increases in happiness; this relationship is curvilinear maxing out at once per week
• One study found that increasing sexual frequency from once per month to once per week results in a happiness boost equivalent to $50K USD, but I’m more concerned with quality over quantity.

Check out my podcast on sexual frequency here.

2. How important is foreplay?

• All sexual pleasure is “sex”, so the acts that we consider foreplay, including kissing, have the capacity to produce pleasure and connection.

3. For couples who are super busy – is it wrong to schedule sex?

• Scheduling sex is a great idea. Oftentimes if you wait until you’re in the mood for sex, you may never have it. This is be
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Being in love can be simultaneously exhilarating, addictive and terrifying. This is because love exposes our most intense passion as well as our most intimate vulnerabilities. The fear of being betrayed, hurt or abandoned is a universal experience and most of us will encounter the impacts of infidelity at some point in our lives directly or indirectly. It follows that trust in intimate relationships is both essential and challenging, as we see the fallout of cheating all around us in the lives of far-off celebrities to our closest friends and family members alike.

But if someone cheats once, are they sure to cheat again? The answer may depend on why they cheated, how they dealt with it, happiness and communication within the relationship and their attachment styles...

Why We Cheat

People cheat for lots of different reasons ranging from boredom and insecurity to lack of intimacy and narcissism. As a partner in a relationship, you can build a healthy bond, foster open communication, o...

Are you and your partner fighting over just about anything these days? Are you noticing too many red flags which leave an unsettling feeling in your stomach? It may be time to call it quits with your significant other. Here are a few signs a relationship has run its course (regardless of gender):

1. Your spouse is hiding money or has set up a “secret” bank account.

They may also change their mailing address for important documents (e.g. bank statements, mortgage statements, life insurance policies) to their work address or relocate these documents away from your home.

2. You no longer recall happy memories fondly.

Think back to a fond memory like your first date, an early encounter or your honeymoon. Do you or your partner taint these memories/stories with negative or critical thoughts (e.g. She was late for the wedding as usual, He couldn’t even relax on our honeymoon)? If so, it’s likely that you need to work on your affection and kindness toward one another.

3. You’ve stoppe...

An excerpt from The Little Book of Kink...

Kinky sex often refers to practices that differ from the very narrow definition of what our culture deems “normal”. This offers a very limited view and averages and norms are mostly irrelevant to an experience as subjective as sex. Kink is all about exploring your body, your reactions and your sense of self without the expectation that your response will mirror another’s to a tee. Shared reactions are common, but each of our bodies is unique and accordingly, our interpretations of pain, pleasure and all five senses are equally distinct.

Before you explore the world of kink, it may be useful to examine your own attitudes toward sex and revisit some of the myths that often define kinky sex to outsiders. Unlearning misinformation and uncovering the reality of kink won’t necessarily make you embrace kinky sex play and that is not the intention of this book. Learning the facts and uncovering a range of sexual possibilities will allow you to mak...

New year, new sex positions! Expand your sexual horizons in the bedroom this year with a few new sex positions under your belt. I've provided some interesting sex positions below you can try tonight!

Why is it important/fun/exciting to switch up sex positions with your partner?

Humans are programmed to seek and be excited by variety, but when it comes to sex, we tend to repeat what works or lean on our go-to moves because we’re also programmed to avoid failure and rejection. When we push through this fear of rejection and challenge our comfort zones, we not only find excitement, but more intense fulfillment and passion.

Changing positions is a simple way to switch up your sexual routine and reignite the passion in a long-term relationship. It’s likely that new positions will lead to new discoveries. For example, you might incidentally reach orgasm from the stimulation of a different area or you might find that you have a different type of orgasm by activating a different nerve pathw...

Jess has received countless emails and questions from her followers about how she got into sexology and how she became who she is today. Many aspiring students have asked for some guidance on where to start and what to study. The Sex with Dr. Jess team has composed a few FAQs below. Happy reading!

1. How/why did you enter the field? What has been your career path?

I was a high school teacher and I saw the gaps in our sexual health education system. Students were coming to me with questions and concerns regarding STIs, unplanned pregnancy and abusive relationships — they had so few places to turn and often received misinformation on some very important subjects. I believe that sex & relationship education is the foundation of our daily interactions from the way we communicate with our parents, friends, and co-workers to the way we respond in intimate relationships. I went back to school because I wanted to be part of a solution that improves sexual health and relationship education.

I often get asked what do energetic orgasms feel like and how do you achieve one? My very first energetic orgasm was an ecstatic experience to say the least…Want to know how it went? Here’s a little glimpse into this story:

“… All of a sudden, her body started moving of its own accord. It scared her. A sexual wave, a strong involuntary movement ran through her body. Another. And the Next.

“What is happening to me?” she asked him. He smiled. She could clearly see that he was not touching her. Tracey was intently looking at her vulva and moving his hands a few inches above it without physically stimulating her. As he later told her, he was playing with her energy field, pleasuring her with the power of his focused intention. But at the moment, she was completely puzzled as to what was taking place…

Her body kept on convulsing and feeling intense waves of beautiful energy explosions rising from her Root chakra at the base of the spine, moving up through her Heart into her Crown on to...