Jess' Advice for Long-Distance Relationships

Jess tackled more questions this morning on Global TV's The Morning Show. This time, she addressed long-distance relationships. She shared her insights about how to strengthen relationship longevity and how to deal with the problems that may arise in the long-distance realm. Check out her expanded notes and video below.

1. My boyfriend and I have been living together for the last year of university and now I’m going to grad school on the east coast. We might have to do the long-distance thing and I’m worried that it won’t work out. Is our relationship doomed if I move across the country?

Your relationship isn’t determined by distance. There is no statistically significant difference in relationship longevity between geographically close and long distance relationships. Relationship satisfaction rates are also similar and intimacy, trust, and commitment outcomes are the same regardless of whether you live in the same city or many miles away. People in...

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Jess Tackles Your Relationship Qs!

This morning on Global TV's The Morning Show, Jeff and Jess sit down to address some more viewer relationship questions. Read her advice and watch the video below, as you might be able to relate! Have a sex and/or relationship Q of your own? Drop us a line here and we may address it on the next podcast episode.

I’ve been with a new guy for almost 6 months but I’m struggling with his past because he had so many partners. I’ve only had 4 and his are way up in the double digits. Help! How can I not let my feelings ruin the relationship?

 It’s normal to feel a little insecure or threatened by your partner’s past especially because your imagination is likely wilder than his reality. Some get all riled up over the possibility that former lovers were more adventurous or skilled than they are and others worry that his wild past is a sign that they’ll never be enough to satiate his needs.

Figure out what threatens you about his past and identify how...

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Can A Sleep-Divorce Save Your Marriage?

Sleep experts suggest that sleeping in separate beds might be good for your relationship. But is it realistic for most couples? Jess and Carolyn weigh in on this so-called trend on Global TV’s The Morning Show.

1. What did this Canadian study find?

  • According to a study out of Ryerson University’s Sleep and Depression Laboratory, 30-40 percent of couples sleep in separate beds; but this percentage is probably overstated owing to the fact that their sample included people attending the sleep clinic with sleep-related issues.
  • Sleep arrangements are culturally and environmentally influenced. One older large-scale study found that people are more likely to sleep together in cooler climates and other research suggests that half of mothers across the globe share a bed with their children while the father sleeps in a separate bed.

2. Why might it be better to sleep in separate rooms?

  • Research shows that couples believe that they sleep better when they’re together,...
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How to Spice Things Up for Valentineā€™s Day (All Ages For Couples)

expert advice press Feb 14, 2018

1. How important is Valentine’s Day?

  • I don’t think Valentine’s Day is particularly important in many relationships; in fact, I’m not a huge fan of V-Day, as I believe it often relegates romance, intimacy, and eroticism to one day per year. You’re better off investing in your relationship on a daily basis as opposed to relying on one grand gesture to reignite the spark. Having said that, if it’s important to you, that’s all that matter. You’re the expert in your own needs and relationship.

2. How do you get away from the predictable chocolate, flowers, and dinner?

  • Volunteer! It makes you more attractive and is associated with increased levels of happiness and health. Whether the relationship is casual or you’re planning for the long-term, you’ll be creating a good habit for yourself (and your partner) moving forward.
  • Take a single friend or older neighbour out to dinner. As you spread the love and positive vibes, your...
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Sexy (And Affordable) Gift Ideas for Valentine's Day

expert advice press Feb 07, 2018

Valentine’s Day may be a commercial holiday and you’ve probably heard me bemoan the risk of relegating romance and intimacy to one day per year. However, if you like V-day and want to celebrate, that’s all that matters. So here are a few ideas for sexy gifts that won’t break the bank:

  • Print some sexy coupons for your partner to redeem at his/her leisure. Some ideas for sexy gifts include erotic massages using body parts other than your hands, “non-reciprocated” oral sex, a candlelit dinner in the nude, chocolate body painting, afternoon delight, a morning quickie, a bondage session and a naked sponge bath. Though this idea is not new, these coupons are great for breaking the ice, initiating sexual activity and introducing new “moves” into your repertoire.
  • Watch a full-length erotic/dirty movie together and see how long you can stay focused on the “plot” before being inspired to make your own.
  • Surprise your lover by sending...
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Common Sex Questions Debunked

expert advice press Feb 05, 2018

1. How often should a couple be having sex/ how often is normal?

  • The average is “several times per month to weekly”, but ultimately what works for one couple will not necessarily work for another, so you need to communicate your needs to the each other.
  • Sexual frequency is positively correlated with increases in happiness; this relationship is curvilinear maxing out at once per week
  • One study found that increasing sexual frequency from once per month to once per week results in a happiness boost equivalent to $50K USD, but I’m more concerned with quality over quantity.

Check out my podcast on sexual frequency here.

2. How important is foreplay?

  • All sexual pleasure is “sex”, so the acts that we consider foreplay, including kissing, have the capacity to produce pleasure and connection.

3. For couples who are super busy – is it wrong to schedule sex?

  • Scheduling sex is a great idea. Oftentimes if you wait until you’re in the mood for sex,...
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Got Relationship Qs? I've Got Answers!

Today on The Morning Show, Jess fields questions from viewers who are concerned about the state of their relationships. Check out the video and summary notes below.

Zahra from Niagara Falls asks via Twitter DM: I just found out that my husband of twenty-two years has opened a secret bank account. There isn't much money in it, but how do I confront him about this?

  • One survey by CreditCards.com found that 5% admit hiding a credit card or bank account. Prevalence increases with age with 11% of boomers reporting hidden accounts, which suggests that this practice may be on the decline.
  • Rather than confront him, perhaps you need to ask him why he has opened this account and give him an opportunity to provide some context.
  • Before you approach him, think about how this makes you feel so you can articulate your own feelings as opposed to specifically criticizing his actions. For example, do you feel hurt because you perceive it as dishonest? Do you feel scared because money is something...
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Keeping Your Relationship Happy & Harmonious During Winter's Frost

We asked our viewers to send us their relationship questions and we received a few that only Canadians and those living in other cold climates can understand. Check out Jess’ answers in the video and notes below.

Renee from Montreal asks: This may sound silly, but my boyfriend and I fight more in the winter since we’re all cooped up alone. I’d appreciate any advice on how to fight less.

  • Staying home alone together for days on end may lead to more friction, so I suggest that you keep up other good lifestyle habits that boost your mood even during the winter months: don’t skip your workouts/walks & shop for groceries and make your own meals rather than ordering in. (You can also order groceries online.) Sometimes we think we’re fighting because we’re sick of each other, but the fights might be related to the fact that our mood is impacted as we adjust our lifestyle in response to the cooler weather.
  • Be sure to stay in touch with other people...
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Why We Fight Over Money and How to Fix Financial Discussions

According to new survey data, one-third of Canadians say they are no longer able to cover their monthly bills and debt payments — this figure represents an increase from 25 percent according to a survey conducted three months ago.

Half of the respondents report that they are within $200 of not being able to pay their bills and financial stress takes a toll on the relationship.

This morning I chatted with Jeff on Global TV's The Morning Show about how couples can effectively communicate when it comes to finances. Check out the summary notes and video below.

1. Is it true that money is the number one cause of arguments in relationships?

It consistently tops the list along with kids, communication (not listening), family/in-laws, work, and sex.

2. Why do we fight about money?

  • Fights about money are often fuelled by underlying fears and insecurities - they’re about trust, communication, and power. When your partner is upset that you’ve spent too much, it may be...
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Tips for Having a Happy and Harmonious Holiday With Your Partner

’Tis the season to be jolly! But just how jolly can one be when the already overwhelming to-do list is further encumbered by the addition of holiday chores, family gatherings and of course, family politics?

Research suggests that along with an increase in alcohol consumption and binge eating, stress levels also increase during the holiday season. It follows, that relationships — intimate and familial — are strained and for many, the holidays, are anything but harmonious.

We asked The Morning Show viewers to share their holiday-related questions and concerns about relationships and offered some insights on how to have a more harmonious holiday season.

Josie from Barrie sent us a FB message: My husband's family is a disaster and always ends up fighting after Christmas dinner. (We are hosting this year.) It’s so stressful for him and I want to take care of him. What can I do?

  • It’s awesome that you’re looking out for him — just make sure...
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