How to Manage Family Relationships

Relationships come in all sorts of arrangements and the way you relate to your family members may mirror and affect the way you relate to intimate partners. Today, on The Morning Show, Jess addressed viewer questions related to family relationships. Check out the video and summary below.

Charles from Calgary asks…

My brother is so jealous of everything I do and I’m sick of it. He blames me for his situation and is never happy for my successes. Lately, he has even been taking my stories and accomplishments and making it out like they’re his own. Imitation is not the greatest form of flattery IMHO. How can I get through to him?

When a sibling or family member is jealous, it can get irritating, but I want you to consider that your irritation pales in comparison to the way he’s feeling. It’s possible that he’s feeling insecure, unworthy and worried that he doesn’t measure up. Those feelings are much harder to manage than irritation, so can you...

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How To Be More Mindful In Your Relationship

Jess is coming home to Toronto this weekend for the Everything To Do With Sex Show at the International Centre. She’ll be on stage with her favourites from We-Vibe Friday-Sunday talking about a range of topics including how mindfulness can help to improve relationships. She joined Carolyn and Mike this morning to discuss Mindful Sex and more and we’ve shared the show summary and video below:

1. What does it mean to be mindful?

Mindfulness is a bit of a buzzword, but it ultimately means being present and mindful of where you’re at any particular moment.

We tend to move through life distracted by our phones, by advertising, by what we need to do in an hour and by self-consciousness and all of this mindlessness detracts from human connection and fulfilling relationships.

It’s important to note that mindfulness draws from eastern philosophies including Hinduism and Buddhism and though in the west, it’s often framed as a secular (even performative)...

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Should I Try to Get My Ex Back & How Can I Avoid Resentment?

We love that you’re sending in questions for the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast and we’re doing our best to get to all of them.

Recently we answered questions related to how to get your partner to open up and how to prioritize sex.

And earlier today on The Morning Show, Jess tackled a few other relationship questions related to exes and healthy fighting. Check out the video and notes below.

Eileen from North Bay asks: I was dating a wonderful guy for about 4 months and he recently broke it off to suddenly go back to his ex of four years. While we were together, he was still in touch with her, but just as friends and he said that the relationship, while they were dating, was pretty toxic. It sounded to me like she treated him really badly and was even verbally abusive of him.

His friends say I’m better for him and want us to get back together. My question is should I wait for him or reach out to see if he wants to get back together?

It sounds as though he has a long...

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Can You Really Count on Your Friends After a Breakup?

After a breakup, we often turn to our friends to support, but new research suggests that our breakups can adversely affect friendships as well. Jess sat down with Jeff and Liem to discuss these findings today on The Morning Show.

1. What did this study find?

Researchers examined 370 posts from online forum discussions related to relationships and divorce to assess the way breakups affect friendships. They found that our friends may be less supportive than we need/expect after a breakup; this may be related to the fact that we don’t maintain friendships when we’re in a relationship, but expect our friends to step up and offer support when we’re in need.

2. How does being in a relationship affect your friendships and vice versa?

Some research suggests that your friend circle shrinks when you couple up; one study found that we lose two friends when we meet a new partner.

But...

Maintaining social ties with friends and family is good for you as an individual and good...

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How to Deal With Jealousy

This morning, Jess joined Carolyn and Jeff on Global TV's The Morning Show to discuss the latest research regarding jealousy in relationships. Check out the notes and video clip below.

1. How do you deal with a jealous partner?

You support them and give them permission to feel jealous bearing in mind that their jealousy isn’t about you. Be sure not to use their jealousy as a weapon. Acknowledge how they’re feeling and ask how you can help or provide reassurance. As a partner, you want to offer reassurance because we often feel jealous when we feel something we value (e.g. a loving relationship) is threatened.

Research shows that those who respond to jealousy by offering reassurance of their interest have more stable relationships.

You can’t eradicate jealousy. It’s a normal, universal emotion and you can learn a good deal about yourself and your relationship from jealous feelings. Normative or functional jealousy, for example, can help you to identify...

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The Dos & Don'ts of 'Picking Up'

This morning on Global TV's The Morning Show, Jess sat down with Jeff McArthur and Vicky Sparks to discuss the dos and don'ts of approaching someone in public. When is it appropriate to talk to a potential partner out in the open? Check out the video and her advice for different scenarios below.

1. At a bar or coffee shop

  • Do offer to buy a drink and reciprocate if you’re on the receiving end. BUT do not bring the drink in-hand. Make the offer and let the barista or bartender hand them the drink.
  • Do approach with friends. When one person from a group walks over and if feels as though all of your friends are watching the interaction, it can feel awkward. If they’re with friends, bring some of yours along for the initial introduction, so you can all engage in friendly conversation.
  • Don’t approach them if they’re on the phone or on their computer. People complain that technology detracts from social interaction, but if you go back 20 years, no one was even...
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Sexual Harassment at the Gym

Today Jess joined Carolyn Mackenzie and Vicky Sparks on Global TV’s The Morning Show to talk about a survey conducted by ExerciseBike.net. They polled 1000 gym-goers who shared their experiences with harassment. Some of their findings included:

  • After being harassed, 3 in 4 women said they changed what they wore to workout.
  • Almost 50% say they've stopped doing certain exercises, and more than 1 in 3 either changed gyms or stopped going entirely.
  • 44% of women did nothing in response to the harassment.
  • Nearly 80% of women would consider an all-female gym to prevent sexual harassment.

The gym is a breeding ground for harassment, but it doesn’t have to be this way. Some guidelines that might make women feel more safe and welcome while working on their fitness:

1. Pay attention to non-verbal cues. For example, if someone is wearing headphones, don’t interrupt them or ask them to remove them. Friendly conversation is grand, but some people don’t want to chat...

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Dating Questions Answered

The Morning Show viewers have dating questions and we’ve got answers. Jess joined Carolyn and Jeff this morning to weigh in on a few of their viewers’ dating dilemmas.

If we’ve been chatting a few weeks and he hasn’t asked to meet in person, is he really interested in a relationship?

He’s interested in chatting, but perhaps that’s it. You’ll never know unless you ask, so give a specific timeline with a request to meet. “Let’s set a time to meet in the next week.” If he’s not open to meeting in the next week or two (and he doesn’t have a good reason like he lives in Georgia), it’s unlikely he’s as interested in an in-person relationship as you are. This, of course, applies regardless of gender.

It’s not uncommon for people to chat on apps for weeks and even months prior to meeting and one study found that the longer you wait, the more likely the first date will be disappointing. But it’s...

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What To Expect With Ontario's Older Sex Education Curriculum

Jess visited Global TV's The Morning Show to discuss what we can expect in September with Ontario's previous sex education curriculum. Check out her notes, video clip, and a few additional segments below.

1. What are the differences between the current curriculum and the one from 1998/9?

I see three primary areas of difference between the 1998 and 2015: inclusivity, specificity & the inclusion of new technologies and related safety & relationship issues.

The updated curriculum is more inclusive of LGBTQ experiences and reflects the diversity of students, parents, and teachers.

The updated curriculum is more specific with regard to examples and teacher prompts.

And the updated curriculum addresses issues that didn’t exist in 1998 like cyberbullying, sexting, online porn and other forms of digital communication.

2. What are the implications of reverting to the 1998/9 curriculum?

A twenty-year rollback affects several areas of the curriculum and accordingly, student...

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How to Initiate Tough Conversations

Whether you want to address an issue related to money, childrearing, in-laws, chores or sex, the toughest conversations are almost always the most important. And if you approach them effectively, they can also be the most fruitful and positive. However, most of us struggle to turn difficult conversations into positive interactions, because we’re often overcome by emotion and not prepared with our own expectations of outcomes.

Jess joined Liem and Carolyn to share her strategies for addressing difficult topics earlier today on The Morning Show. Check out the summary and video below.

Why do little annoyances or simple requests often snowball into bigger arguments?

Most of us wait until we’re frustrated to speak up, which is why our communication is often framed as a series of *complaints* and/or *criticisms* to which our partners respond with defensiveness and/or aggression. If you speak up before you become frustrated or resentful, you’ll find that the results of...

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