What is Your Love Language?

Are you familiar with the languages of love? Jess chats with Jeff and Carolyn this morning on Global TV's The Morning Show about love languages and how they can teach you to better understand your partner's needs. Check out her notes and video interview below.

What are the languages of love?

Gary Chapman’s bestseller, The 5 Love Languages, suggests that each of us has a primary love language — words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service, quality time or physical touch — and that in order to improve emotional connection, we need to learn to speak our partner’s language.

Of course, you can speak multiple languages and other “languages” exist, but this 5-pronged framework can be very helpful to help you better understand your own needs and your partner’s.

  • Acts of service - performing favours that make them feel loved, appreciated, seen and special.
  • Words of affirmation - expressing your love in words in a variety of ways (via text,...
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How to Carve Out Time For Yourself

With a very busy and hectic schedule, it's important to schedule some "me" time for yourself. I chat with Jeff McArthur & Carolyn Mackenzie about this on Global TV's The Morning Show. Check out my notes and video interview below!

We’re stuck in the house all day and never get a break. How do I tell my partner that I need more time apart?

1. Be specific about your needs. General statements without context (e.g. I need more space!) might not be as effective as more specific expressions (e.g. I’d like to carve out more time for myself so that I can workout more often and reconnect with some of my friends with whom I’ve lost touch.)

2. Explain why you’d like to make the specific change. You don’t owe your partner an explanation for every desire and feeling, but clarifying your why can help them to better understand your needs. I miss going out with Sally, so we’re going to have drinks and dinner after work on Thursday. I always feel so energized...

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Do You Live At Home With Your Parents?

Feature image from VICE's The Gender Spectrum Collection

Have you moved back in with your parents since the pandemic? I'm joining forces again with Kelley Keehn and we share our thoughts and insights about this with Carolyn from Global TV's The Morning Show. Check out my notes and video interview below!

We often think about ways for couples to express love and invest in their relationships, but parents and children can do the same. If you’re a young person living with your parents, get to know their love language and show them some love. You’re living in their home and you can give back without spending a cent. Make their favourite lunch as an act of service. Ask them to watch a film to spend quality time. Write them a thank you note to offer words of affirmation. Give them a warm hug when they’re stressed out as physical affection. And add something to their home as a gift.

Communication is, of course, key to all relationships, so if you’re living...

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Signs the Friendship is Over

Friendships are as varied and complex as intimate relationships and they require investment, commitment and care to thrive. Jess joined Jeff & Carolyn on Global TV's The Morning Show to answer viewer questions about how to deal with strained friendships. Check out the video and notes below.

My friend is not being cautious enough during the pandemic, she is not abiding by the rules. The virus is dividing us, is it time to break off this friendship?

I think it’s worth speaking up and setting your own boundaries. You don’t have to end the friendship. You might just want to change the ways in which you interact for now. For example, maybe you only see her online. If, however, you feel your values are entirely misaligned and this situation has brought your differences to light, you may want to step back from the friendship.

I don’t get along with my best friend’s partner and they’ve just got engaged. I’m worried because I don’t think...

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Weddings In The Time of COVID

This morning on Global TV's The Morning Show, Jess shared her insights on how the pandemic has affected weddings and marital satisfaction. Check out the rough transcript and tips below!

You say that postponed weddings are having a mixed effect on couples, what are you seeing in terms of how couples are reacting?

One one hand, there is added stress with the extra toll on finances and the letdown that comes with planning for a the big day. When you’re riding or building to a high, dopamine levels rise with this anticipation, but when you’re dealt a setback with outcomes not meeting expectation, you experience disappointment and dopamine release subsides. Disappointment stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, which results in a chemical response. This, of course, can affect your mood, your energy levels and your libido - and some people becomes more impulsive — which can in turn take a toll on the relationship in terms of communication, interactions...

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Is it Better to Have Loved and Lost Than to Have Never Loved At All?

The findings from decades of studies have suggested that a happy marriage makes for a happy life. Married folks report higher well-being than those who are single, divorced or widowed and data connects marriage with emotional, social and health benefits including longer lifespans and lower levels of anxiety, depression and distress.

But new research out of Michigan State University suggests that previous studies that measure marriage and happiness at one point in time may offer an incomplete picture.

Jess discussed these findings on Global TV's The Morning Show with Jeff and Carolyn. Check out her notes and video below.

How is this study different from the many before it?

This study, conducted by William Chopik and Mariah Purol, looked at data from 532 respondents from the Panel Study of Income Dynamics (PSID). PSID is a study that has followed a nationally representative sample of U.S. individuals and their families since 1968. They looked at marital histories both prospectively...

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Exercises for Couples to Try in Isolation

This week on Global TV's The Morning Show, Jess walked Carolyn and Jeff through a few exercises for couples to try during their quarantine. These exercises (both physical and verbal) are to help break the monotony, maintain a strong connection, and inject more excitement into the relationship. Check out her notes and video segment below.

1. The Heartbeat: Rest your head on your partner's chest to listen to their heartbeat. It’s so grounding to think that if that little muscle stops, that’s all she wrote. It’s a good way to start your day and it takes less than a minute.

2. The Gratitude Gap: Thank your partner for something you’ve come to expect and perhaps take for granted.

3. Love Note Hunt: Hide sweet or sexy notes throughout the house and let your partner stumble upon them naturally.

4. What I Miss (for co-workers who are separated): Make a list of 3 things you miss about your co-worker. This isn’t a time to flirt or be...

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Zoom Calls: The Good & The Bad

Given our current situation, what are your thoughts and feelings about Zoom calls? Could some calls just have been an email? Jess connects virtually with Carolyn and Jeff this morning from Global TV's The Morning Show to further discuss. Check out her notes and video segment below.

The Good:

  • It takes less time to coordinate, so we’re actually seeing one another more often.
  • It feels more intimate than a phone call for many of us because of the potential for eye contact, facial expressions, body language, etc.
  • Research reflects that connection & cooperation is higher on video calls than via phone and chat; trust can be just as high in video chats as face to face although it takes longer to achieve this, so this may explain why it works for existing friendships like Carolyn’s, but may not be as effective for new dates, acquaintances and clients.

The Struggle:

  • It’s emotionally exhausting to be on video calls all day.
  • You have...
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Responsible Dating During the COVID-19 Pandemic

Another week in self-isolation means it's time to get creative with your dating game. This week, Jess spoke to Carolyn and Jeff from Global TV's The Morning Show to discuss how we can date responsibility during the COVID-19 pandemic. Check out Jess' notes and video segment below!

Why has this time of social distancing proven to be such a popular time for dating apps?

Not only are we craving connection, but we also have more time on our hands, as we’re not commuting, socialising after work or hanging out with extended family. And we’re spending that extra time online.

Some dating apps are reporting increases in messaging between users and more time spent online.

Could the fact that people can’t meet in person actually be a benefit?

Being pushed out of our comfort zones and forced to communicate digitally can encourage us to learn new ways of communicating. Text alone eliminates the power of tone, body language and facial...

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