Valentine's Day is just around the corner and our focus has accordingly shifted toward romantic love. But in 2021, most of us are focused on surviving as opposed to thriving and this often begins with self love, which can be defined in so many different ways.

Jess joined Carolyn and Jeff on Global TV's The Morning Show to explore strategies for nurturing your relationship with yourself earlier today. Check out the summary notes and video below.

What is self love?

I’m so glad you asked, because oftentimes self love is narrowly defined along the lines of spa days and bubble baths, but it can be so many different things. Self love and self care might involve working out, cooking, taking a nap, running, dancing, calling a friend, painting, attending a political protest, setting boundaries with someone in your life, working on your stamp collection or anything else that makes you feel good.

Self love is about holding your own well being and happiness in high regard. This might be...

Do you believe in love at fight sight? What constitutes a good match that will last in the long run? Jess chats with Jeff and Carolyn on Global TV's The Morning Show to address and expand on these ideas. Check out her notes and video interview below!

Can you tell if a relationship will be successful from the onset? Is there such thing as love at first sight?

Love at first sight is a real thing for many of us, because love isn’t a difficult emotion to feel. But we have to differentiate between love the feeling and love the action. The former is easier to conjure than that latter is to enact in the long run. So you can feel loving toward someone, but not really be willing to commit to loving them long term when you consider all that a loving relationship entails — commitment, trust, vulnerability, intimacy, rejection, generosity, gratitude, patience and teamwork.

So if you’ve just met, how can you tell if you’re a good match?

If you’re on a first,...

Jess chats with Carolyn and Jeff on Global TV's The Morning Show about what dating trends we can expect in the new year. To learn more about this, check out her notes and video interview below!

 1. Like many things this year, much of the dating process has become virtual, what are your tips for developing and maintaining a relationship online?

Use video to take advantage of eye contact.

Include others in your video dates. Your friends affect the outcome of your relationships, so include them in your virtual dates. Host quiz nights, online board game events or talent shows so that your new partner feels as though they’re a part of your social circle.

Don’t talk solely about your day-to-day when you’re on the phone. Instead use conversation starters — cards and games — to dig into deeper conversations about your values, fear, dreams and aspirations.

2. One trend you’re seeing for the new year will be “hard-ball dating,” can you...

The holidays are intended to be a time of cheer, but the data suggests that they can, in fact, be a time of stress for many. With the additional stress of COVID and distancing restrictions, 2020 presents some unique challenges. Jess joins Global TV's The Morning Show to discuss the top issues of contention and how to have a more harmonious holiday season.

My husband and I never agree on finances and it’s worse around the holidays. I want to spend and be generous and I see him as a cheapskate and it always leads to fights. Help!

I think you can be generous is more ways than one — you can be generous with your time, your effort, your thoughtfulness, and your money, so can you consider expanding your definition of generosity.

And can you talk to him about why you want to spend more money and what it means to you. Perhaps financial generosity is one way you show love and a way that your loved ones feel it. That’s okay if it’s not a strain on your own finances.

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Are you familiar with the languages of love? Jess chats with Jeff and Carolyn this morning on Global TV's The Morning Show about love languages and how they can teach you to better understand your partner's needs. Check out her notes and video interview below.

What are the languages of love?

Gary Chapman’s bestseller, The 5 Love Languages, suggests that each of us has a primary love language — words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service, quality time or physical touch — and that in order to improve emotional connection, we need to learn to speak our partner’s language.

Of course, you can speak multiple languages and other “languages” exist, but this 5-pronged framework can be very helpful to help you better understand your own needs and your partner’s.

• Acts of service - performing favours that make them feel loved, appreciated, seen and special.
• Words of affirmation - expressing your love in words in a variety of ways (via text,...

With a very busy and hectic schedule, it's important to schedule some "me" time for yourself. I chat with Jeff McArthur & Carolyn Mackenzie about this on Global TV's The Morning Show. Check out my notes and video interview below!

We’re stuck in the house all day and never get a break. How do I tell my partner that I need more time apart?

1. Be specific about your needs. General statements without context (e.g. I need more space!) might not be as effective as more specific expressions (e.g. I’d like to carve out more time for myself so that I can workout more often and reconnect with some of my friends with whom I’ve lost touch.)

2. Explain why you’d like to make the specific change. You don’t owe your partner an explanation for every desire and feeling, but clarifying your why can help them to better understand your needs. I miss going out with Sally, so we’re going to have drinks and dinner after work on Thursday. I always feel so energized...

Feature image from VICE's The Gender Spectrum Collection. 

Have you moved back in with your parents since the pandemic? I'm joining forces again with Kelley Keehn and we share our thoughts and insights about this with Carolyn from Global TV's The Morning Show. Check out my notes and video interview below!

We often think about ways for couples to express love and invest in their relationships, but parents and children can do the same. If you’re a young person living with your parents, get to know their love language and show them some love. You’re living in their home and you can give back without spending a cent. Make their favourite lunch as an act of service. Ask them to watch a film to spend quality time. Write them a thank you note to offer words of affirmation. Give them a warm hug when they’re stressed out as physical affection. And add something to their home as a gift.

Communication is, of course, key to all relationships, so if you’re living...

Friendships are as varied and complex as intimate relationships and they require investment, commitment and care to thrive. Jess joined Jeff & Carolyn on Global TV's The Morning Show to answer viewer questions about how to deal with strained friendships. Check out the video and notes below.

My friend is not being cautious enough during the pandemic, she is not abiding by the rules. The virus is dividing us, is it time to break off this friendship?

I think it’s worth speaking up and setting your own boundaries. You don’t have to end the friendship. You might just want to change the ways in which you interact for now. For example, maybe you only see her online. If, however, you feel your values are entirely misaligned and this situation has brought your differences to light, you may want to step back from the friendship.

I don’t get along with my best friend’s partner and they’ve just got engaged. I’m worried because I don’t think...

This morning on Global TV's The Morning Show, Jess shared her insights on how the pandemic has affected weddings and marital satisfaction. Check out the rough transcript and tips below!

You say that postponed weddings are having a mixed effect on couples, what are you seeing in terms of how couples are reacting?

One one hand, there is added stress with the extra toll on finances and the letdown that comes with planning for a the big day. When you’re riding or building to a high, dopamine levels rise with this anticipation, but when you’re dealt a setback with outcomes not meeting expectation, you experience disappointment and dopamine release subsides. Disappointment stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, which results in a chemical response. This, of course, can affect your mood, your energy levels and your libido - and some people becomes more impulsive — which can in turn take a toll on the relationship in terms of communication, interactions...

The findings from decades of studies have suggested that a happy marriage makes for a happy life. Married folks report higher well-being than those who are single, divorced or widowed and data connects marriage with emotional, social and health benefits including longer lifespans and lower levels of anxiety, depression and distress.

But new research out of Michigan State University suggests that previous studies that measure marriage and happiness at one point in time may offer an incomplete picture.

Jess discussed these findings on Global TV's The Morning Show with Jeff and Carolyn. Check out her notes and video below.

How is this study different from the many before it?

This study, conducted by William Chopik and Mariah Purol, looked at data from 532 respondents from the Panel Study of Income Dynamics (PSID). PSID is a study that has followed a nationally representative sample of U.S. individuals and their families since 1968. They looked at marital histories both prospectively...