Is there a right or wrong way to break up with your partner? Today on The Morning Show, Jess & Jeff discuss the science of compassionate break-ups and strategies for effective uncoupling. Check out the summary notes and video below.

1. There is science to breaking up. What do we know?

Research suggests that there are five stages:

• Pre-contemplation: feelings of unease without doubt.
• Contemplation: doubts about the relationship.
• Preparation: you’ve made the decision, but haven’t put it into action — this can last months.
• Action: this could be withdrawal or another less straightforward approach.
• Maintenance: final exchanges that might include returning belongings, moving out, etc.

If you don’t get back together in the fifth stage, chances are you won’t be together in the long run.

2. But what about breaking up effectively? How do you do it and does it matter how long you’ve been dating?

The length of your relationship will...

This morning on Global TV's The Morning Show, Jess discussed the act of passing gas in relationships with Carolyn Mackenzie. Are there any benefits? And how long do most people wait to fart for the first time? Check out the video and Jess' notes below...

1. This survey included 125 people in their 20s and 30s and the researchers conclude that farting may be good for your relationship. How do young people really feel about farting in front of a significant other?

•  29% say it’s acceptable to start farting in front of your partner after dating for 2-6 months. (This may be when the sleepovers start — at which time passing gas seems inevitable. Who doesn’t play the butt-tuba in their sleep?)
• 25% say it’s acceptable to start farting in front of your partner after dating for 6-12 months.
• 22% say they only wait a few weeks.
• 7% they would never fart in front of a partner.
• Women are more likely to report that they wait for their partner to do it first.

2....

According to a U.K. study, 45% of people keep friends they don't even like. But why do we do this? Do we aim to keep our friends close and our enemies closer? Jess dissected the latest research on "ambivalent friends" with Carolyn Mackenzie this morning on Global TV's The Morning Show. Check out her notes and video below.

What did the study find?

• According to 2000 Brits, they have an average of 16 friends and acquaintances — three of whom they don’t like/struggle to get along with.

What are our top complaints about these so-called friends?

• We don’t have anything in common.
• They’re too bossy/controlling.
• Our opinions differ significantly.
• How they behave when they drink.
• They’re too high maintenance.

Other complaints that made the top 20:

• The language they use.
• The way they treat their partner.
• They flirt with my partner.
• They don’t get along with my partner.

Why are we hanging out with people we don’t like?

• Oftentimes, it’s...

This morning on Global TV's The Morning Show, Jess discussed the connection between divorce and job stress with Jeff McArthur. Research suggests that those working in certain occupations are more likely to get divorced. Read on and watch the videos below to learn more!

Research suggests that certain occupations are associated with higher divorce rates by the age of 30:

1. Military supervisors

2. Logisticians

3. Auto mechanic

Previous research identifies divorce rates by occupation (regardless of age):

1. Dancers/choreographers (43% divorce rate)

2. Bartenders (38% divorce rate)

3. Massage Therapists (38% divorce rate)

Lowest divorce rates occur in the following professions:

1. Agricultural engineers (2% divorce rate)

2. Optometrists (4% divorce rate)

3. Transit police (5% divorce rate)

Why might this be?

• Work stress, hours and travel requirements may play a role, but you also have to consider the causal direction of these relationships; do the jobs contribute to divorce risk...

This week on Global TV's The Morning Show, Jess discusses the growing threat of revenge porn with Jeff McArthur. This is a growing problem that must be addressed. Check out Jess' notes and video below.

What is revenge porn?

It’s a form of sexual harassment. It’s a sex crime - it’s about power, control and violating consent.

How do you protect yourself?

The only way to really protect yourself is to not take or send nude pics or sex videos. Of course, in some cases (e.g. Mischa Barton), some partners will film you unknowingly.

What should happen if the relationship dissolves?

You should get rid of the photos/videos or at minimum resolve not to share them.

What can we do?

We can refuse to look at the images/videos. Do I want to see some of these celebrities naked? Sure. But I’m not going to violate their privacy?

What about the fact that Blac Chyna has posted nude pics on her own social media accounts?

We need to stop shaming the victims. If I had sex with you...

Do you have a friend who serves as a third wheel to your relationship tricycle? This morning, Jess sat down with Jeff McArthur on Global TV's The Morning Show to discuss the benefits of couple-friend threesomes and offer some practical advice. Check out her notes and video below.

What should you do if you feel like a third wheel?

• Know that the latest research is falling on your side: new research suggests that singles report higher levels of fulfilment, self-determination and personal growth.
• In terms of practical strategies, cultivate a relationship with both parties and consider making plans with one member of the couple at a time.
• Introduce them to some of your other friends and let them know if their lovey-dovey (or conflict) behaviour is making you uncomfortable — they may not even realize it.
• And of course, be happy for them!

What are the benefits of being the third wheel?

• You get the best of both worlds — social support as well as the freedom to grow....

Do your in-laws cause rifts in your relationship? This morning on Global TV's The Morning Show, I discuss why these conflicts exist and what you can do to avoid them in the future. Check out my advice and the video below.

A British study suggests in-laws are to blame for marital strife.

1. What did this study find?

• According to the 2000 husband and wives surveyed, 60% blame their in-laws for fights in their marriages.
• 20% report that they lack privacy in their relationship because in-laws drop in unannounced and/or overstay their welcome; this would certainly vary by culture, as in some cultures (like mine!), it’s not uncommon for parents to live with their grown-up children.
• 19% report that borrowing money from in-laws (for home purchases) may be to blame for their interference in their relationship.
• One-quarter report that they would not have gone through with the marriage had they known how bad the “in-law” problem would be.
• 18% have considered splitting up...

This week, Jess discusses the importance of forgiveness on Global TV's The Morning Show with Jeff McArthur. She briefly outlines the four stages of forgiveness therapy and the benefits of forgiveness in the video and summary below.

How do you forgive someone who has wronged you?

First you need to understand what forgiveness is.

Forgiveness isn’t just about saying or hearing you’re sorry. And it’s not about declaring your forgiveness to the world. Forgiveness involves letting go of negative feelings — it’s a conscious choice by someone who acknowledges that they were wronged (i.e. they weren’t deserving of the poor treatment), but opts to let go of the negative feelings nonetheless.

And forgiveness is a distinct process from other responses; when you forgive, it’s not the same as condoning, forgetting or excusing behaviour.

Once you understand the meaning of forgiveness, how do you put it into practice?

You can follow the...

 
1. Should you tell a friend they’re marrying the wrong person?
In most cases, you should keep your mouth shut, but it depends on a few factors:

• Are they wrong for your friend or wrong for you? Do you dislike the way their partner has impacted your friendship with this friend or are you genuinely concerned for your friend’s happiness?
• Are you really a good judge of whether or not someone is right or wrong for somebody else. I’m a so-called relationship expert (I read dozens of new studies each week and engage with thousands of couples each year) and I’m not even comfortable making that kind of call in most cases.

2. Are there any cases when you should speak up? 

• If there is abuse. If...

I joined Jeff McArthur this morning on Global TV's The Morning Show to discuss the benefits of bromances. Read my thoughts below and don't forget to watch the video!

What is a bromance?

According to a recent study that looked at undergraduate students, a bromance is a close non-sexual friendship marked by intimacy, love and openness. It’s a relationship that is free from judgment and ultimately one that defies cultural prescriptions of masculinity that preclude men from being vulnerable and sharing intimate details of their life.

Are they becoming more common?

Yes! And it’s a good thing. We see that men who acknowledge having had a bromance acknowledge the many benefits:

• The opportunity to divulge vulnerabilities without social ridicule.
• Increased social support (which is positively correlated with more positive physical and mental health outcomes & longevity).
• Feelings of brotherhood and family-like ties.
• Opportunities to discuss topics that were previously...