Lasting Longer in Bed: The Stop-Start Method

In my private practice, I receive many inquiries from men asking for advice on how to last longer in bed. And though most women I talk to aren't looking for marathon-length sessions, we do appreciate the option to take our time and enjoy the experience. Learning to control your orgasm (for both men and women) is not only empowering, but can deepen sexual and orgasmic response. This is the first in a three-part mini series on making sex last longer.

The Stop-Start Method is a simple, sensual and orgasm-intensifying approach to lasting longer in bed. It simply entails doing whatever you love to do and stopping just before the point-of-no-return (or the point of ejaculatory inevitability for men). You don't have to stop stimulating your partner or yourself, but do stop performing the particular activity that makes you feel like cumming.

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For example, if you're having penetrative intercourse, pull out (or have your partner pull out) and engage in some breast play, oral sex, dirty talk, manual sex, anal play, kissing, erotic massage or anything else you can come up with until the urge to ejaculate or orgasm subsides. Repeat as many times as you like until you feel ready for that long-awaiting climax. You'll likely find that the build-up intensifies your response and you may experience heightened sensations as a reward for your patience.

This method is actually one component of orgasm-intensification programs that sexologists use to help clients improve their sex lives. It can be enjoyed alone, in pairs, in groups and by men and women alike.

Have fun, experiment, practice safer sex and don't set a timer to gauge your success, as this pressure will only detract from the pleasure of the experience. It may take several tries to identify your point-of-no-return so take time to enjoy both the practice and the results!