In this quickie episode, we chat about the fact that our interest in sex has declined since the onset of social isolation. We discuss strategies for creating “responsive” sexual desire and managing distractions that detract from pleasure. Rough Transcript: Please find a rough transcript of this episode below How to Get in the Mood for Sex 00:00:05 - 00:05:04 You're listening to the Sex with Dr Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight! Welcome to the sex with Dr Jess quickey podcast I'm your co host Brandon. Here with my lovely other half Dr Jess. Hey. I can hear that you're smiling in your voice. I mean I can see it but I'm glad that you can see me across the desk here. I like the sound of it. I'm glad that you like me smiling. Yeah well I wanted to share some big news. We had sex yesterday. Boom! Big News! With each other That was a key point. I had sex by myself. That's okay too. That's cool too and you know it's not big news but I have found that I'm not in the mood for sex lately because Of my hair. No nothing to do with you. I actually love being home with you. Getting to admire you. You have your sleeves rolled up right. Now it's nineteen ninety-four my sleeves rolled up. I it's not about you. It's really just about my routine changing so significantly and I think I'm one of those like I. You know a nice lifestyle. That's high adrenaline very tiring. overworked usually and I love it. Like I love waking up after almost no sleep and catching a flight and being excited to meet New People. I love the risk of my job. Every time you get on stage you don't know if you're GONNA kill it or mess it up and so everything's changed because we're working from home and yeah. I don't find myself in the mood for sex so I wanted to talk about how to get in the mood for sex. When you're not in the mood for sex but you want to be in the mood for sex so to clarify. I'm not suggesting you should have sex when you're not in the mood unless you want to get yourself in the mood and you've probably heard me talk before about sexual desire falling into two experiences. One being spontaneous and the other being responsive so spontaneous sexual desire occurs when you worked at home all day. You've gone through the same routine you've been wearing the same jogging pants and the same shirt and your been hanging out with that same one person relevant to right then you watch some NetFlix and then spontaneously at the end of the day. You're like yeah I want the sex I can't wait to do the sex I'm GONNA get on Top. You know so that spontaneous sexual desire in for many people. That's not particularly realistic. However, we can always experience what we call not always but we have more opportunity to experience responsive sexual desire meaning that it doesn't occur spontaneously. But if you do something to get yourself physically aroused the mental or subjective part of it follows. So if you use a toy or if you fantasize or if you touch each other if you start kissing or if you think about the last time you had sex or you watch porn or you read a story. Whatever it is that turns you on you get turned on physically and then the mind remembers. Oh yeah man sex. I remember that thing that feels really good and so I've noticed that over the last few weeks since we've been home we have put ourselves in the mood for sex. We haven't really talked about it so I don't know if you're feeling the same thing but it seems like you want to have sex but it's a it's a slower build right now. Yeah I mean. I've talked about this in the past on this podcast. I don't have a lot of that spontaneous sex desire and I think I am. I'm willing to admit that I'm not like I think a lot of men might admit to being which is sex hungry all the time where it's like. I want sex twenty four seven. I enjoy having sex with you. It's a lot of fun it satisfying but I also find that.