Masturbation Advice For An Improved Sex Life

Masturbation is good for your sex life whether you're single or coupled. It’s the prime opportunity to learn about your own body without the pressure to perform or meet another person’s needs. And once you know what you like in bed, you can train a partner (or two or three!) to be a part of the process.

Treat self-pleasure as you would with partnered sex and experiment. We tend to masturbate using the same technique, in the same location and in the same position over and over again; changing things up can help you to discover new likes and dislikes. Try a new position, a new toy or a new approach to see if you learn something surprising about your body’s unique sexual response.

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Pay attention to your breath. Are you holding it? Experiment with a range of breathing patterns (e.g. short and shallow, deep and slow) to see how your sexual response changes.

Let your sounds emanate freely. Don’t hold back. When we watch porn, we often see and hear exaggerated versions of sexual response - including sounds. We aren’t sure what ours should sound like because we’ve never seen or hear real live sex with non-actors.

The best way to fix this is to practice while masturbating. When you’re all alone and don’t feel any pressure to perform, give yourself permission to make as much or as little sound as you’d like. Breathe, moan, groan and don’t adjust your sounds to make them fit a cultural script - just let them flow. Once you get comfortable with your own sounds, you’ll become more comfortable with a partner.

Remember: stifling your sounds interferes with breathing which can inhibit sexual response and orgasm!

Take your time. Because many of us were conditioned to rush through masturbation to avoid getting caught during our teen years, we’ve created bad habits that prioritize expediency over experience. There is nothing wrong with a quickie, but you might also want to take your time once in awhile to train yourself to exercise some control over your sexual and orgasmic response.

Masturbation also has the potential to improve body image; as you learn to enjoy your body and appreciate its natural responses, you may feel more connected to it and learn to appreciate its incredible capacity for pleasure.