Best Blow Job Tips Pt II

Happier Couples

Best Blow Job Tips Pt II

34:54

 

From "The Tunnel" and the "Claudia" to "The Twist N Shout" and "The Cheater", tune in for advanced oral sex techniques designed to take pleasure to new heights. You'll learn to stimulate the inner penis, intensify orgasms and explore new hot spots to keep your lover coming back for more.

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Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Best Blow Job Tips Pt II

Participant #1:
You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr. Jess Podcast. I'm your cohost, Brandon Ware, here with my lovely other half, Dr. Jess, four times a charm. Hi. Tongue tied today, and I don't know why. I know many words. We've been talking all weekend. We have. It was a great weekend. Yeah. We spent the weekend in Toronto at the Taboo Nativa Night Show, and a bunch of you all came out to say hi, and it felt really good. Yeah, there was such great news and feedback from the peeps. I really appreciated it and and energy. We have to give a shout out to a gentleman, a very well dressed gentleman. Yes. Best dressed at the show. But also he got us a couple of massages and just kind of dropped off the gift certificate and left, so you know who you are. Thank you so much. It was super sweet. It was so cool to just be around people and getting feedback. It's so interesting because I'm used to being in kind of workshops and seminar spaces where you know what's going on, you know how people are responding, if they're laughing, if they're squirming, if they're coming with extra questions. But when you're doing, like, television or podcast, there's none of that interaction. So it's really cool. There are so many people who are swing fans. Back from my Playboy TV days. I don't know if everybody if you know that. We used to host a show on Playboy TV about swingers, and it was a reality show with a bunch of swingers living in a house. And every weekend I'd bring in a new couple who thought they wanted to try swinging, and I'd kind of walk them through this TV contract. I mean, it was a contract for the relationship, but it was for TV production and take a pulse of where they were in the relationship and make sure they were feeling comfortable and help perhaps bring up any concerns. And then they'd spend the night with, I can't remember, maybe eight other swinger couples, and they'd have the opportunity to swing if the compatibility and the attraction existed. And then the next day, I'd go back and do a little debrief with them. And I still so many years later. I don't think I've worked on the show in at least how long do you think it's been? Six years? Five years? Seven years? I was going to say. Yeah, it's been a while. But I still get emails from folks asking to come to the Swinghouse, and I get emails from folks who want to come to the swing house but don't want to be filmed.

Seriously, I still get these emails every single week. Isn't it just a sex club? Well, what it is, though, is an environment that made people feel safe, right? Not only did you feel safe, but I guess all the attention was also on you because I think the first time going to a swing party or a swing club or a sex club, it can be really overwhelming. You might not have the confidence or feel you have the skills to go talk to anybody and so many people will go and they're like, OK, now what? Because they didn't make any connections or they didn't try anything new and it doesn't mean you have to have sex or anything like that. So it was a really cool show, a really cool project. And what's so interesting to me is that so many years later, people are still talking about how that was the show or the program that got them talking about fantasies and their relationships. There are folks who are in the lifestyle now who say that that was the show that opened them up to the possibility and walked them through it. And they tend to give me credit as host, but I am absolutely, positively not. To credit Wendy Miller from Playboy TV is to credit all the cast on the show who put themselves out there and were just simply their honest selves without drama. I think this was the most dramafree reality show ever on TV because we had sex, there was live sex. You didn't have to add throwing someone's person to the fire. Especially when you think about how that show could be so much drama. The fact that there wasn't that much drama, and I'm not saying it was all, you know, there weren't conflicts or there wasn't attention or that there weren't issues that couples and individuals ran into, but I will say the cast of that show was so, so lovely. Like, I'm in touch with many of them still and they're just super sweet, thoughtful couples. And the production in the back end was doing the opposite of what most reality television shows are doing. The production on the back end was trying to protect the participants and protect me. Like they would never, you know, string words together to make me sound like I was saying something that I wasn't. They wouldn't look for the most salacious elements to pull them out. And in fact, and I won't get into the details, but there were a few incidents that could have painted people poorly and adversely affected them in real life and they pulled those out, which is, again, unheard of and a credit to the production team. So if you don't know the show, it was called Playboy TV Swing. It's not a cinematic masterpiece or anything like that. It was a good show, but I'm proud to be a part of that project. And interestingly, back when they offered me the hosting gig, it was hosting, but also doing sent kind of some on camera counseling with the couples. I was really reticent to take it because I wasn't sure how it would affect my brand if I would kind of get typecast or Pigeonhole. And I feel so lucky that I got to work on that project so long ago, and yeah, so many people came out and we're still talking about it, which was so cool. Some of those shows are ten years old. So many people, like you said, stopping. I'm saying, I remember you. Do you remember this episode? When can I get on? I know. And I'm like, I don't remember all the episodes. I wouldn't stay for the whole shoot, but yeah, cool experience. And it was cool to hear from people and see people this weekend. So if you did stop by, thank you so much for taking the time, taking the energy. And if you weren't there, because I know, obviously not everybody's in Toronto, hopefully I'll see you at an upcoming event this weekend. I'm heading to Cabo San Lucas. I'm heading to Mexico for a couple's retreat, which none of you all are actually invited to because it's not my retreat. I'm just speaking at it, but pretty excited. And then next weekend I have another retreat up north here in Ontario, which is such a rarity for me. You're going to go up and play in the snow? I don't know. You're going to have to drive me, though. Get my snow tires next week. Don't worry. Yeah. Are you? I am. Is it snow tire season? I'm not going to get into the safety aspect of that. Anything below ten degrees, we should have our winter tires, and that's ten degrees Celsius, folks. So that's like, what, 50? Yes, something like that. 50 degrees. Okay. So we have no expertise in tires and take no responsibility for any advice given by Brandon in that respect.

I want to say that so many folks, so many men dropped by our booth at the Taboo show to talk about how much they love hearing you on the podcast, babe. I appreciate that. Some of them thought I was funny, which there was one guy showed it to him, feeling the vibe. He knows I'm funny. I know he's funny. He was all right. He was all right. Okay, so let's get to it. We are doing part two of Blow Jobs. Let's do it. And actually, I need to pull up some messages because I did get some messages from folks who shared what they like when it comes to blow jobs. So we're going to do that. We're going to go over some of the mouth techniques because we actually, even though it was a blowjob episode last week, we spent a lot of time on hand jobs. So we're going to get to that. Kind of read a note that I got. So this person says they listened to the blow job parts one, and he says blow jobs are definitely a ten for me for several reasons. I agree with Brandon in regards to the anticipation factor, there were two things that were not mentioned for me to enhance the experience further. One is conversation about the desire, about what you want to do. Yeah, that's a big one, isn't it? Not like just in general what they want to do. Well, I think it's like, I'm going to put my mouth on it or I want to taste it or any of those things. I don't know. You try it. I'm not doing it. I don't feel like being sexual. I want to taste you. Okay, keep going. I want to lick your body. Cat it's a Brooklyn 99 reference to mentor. Yes. So the conversation and then this person says listening to your partner tease you with words about what they want to do can be intoxicating same for me, to ask for what I want, and like, oh, I love that. And so he says, sexual banter is half the fun. I think it is so incredibly hot when a lover can tell you what they want. Like, I think there's a lot of, hey, what are you into? And people say, oh, everything you do, or whatever you want, or I like, everything. But when someone's taken the time to think about what they want from you, first of all, there's this messaging that they're thinking of you, but also the specificity of it is hot for me. I struggle with that. I don't think I am that good with the words. Well, you do know 18 words. Well, now I know 18, but I feel when I'm doing dirty talk right now, I'm already at a loss for words. I feel silly. Why are you sweating? Can you tell? Really? But I feel ridiculous, and I think that's one of the things that holds me back. So I kind of just have to push through knowing that, hey, maybe this is going to work. But I also like the idea of the banter. They were saying in that commentary that they enjoyed the banter because, I mean, listen, as long as your partner is on board, maybe the banter works out, maybe the sexy talk works, maybe it doesn't, but at least if you're willing to entertain and have some fun with it and I feel like it can be fun. Do you find that when you're more turned on, you're more comfortable with your D talk? Yeah, I noticed that once you're into it and this isn't just a branding thing, once you're turned on, you've got this lack of inhibitions, right? Because you've got oxytocin, you've got adrenaline, you've got norepinephrines, letting the body and so things that felt previously uncomfortable, things that felt previously intimidating or even disgusting or even painful, these kind of more negative experiences start to feel good. I also find that once we're into it, I can pick up on cues as to what you like. Oh, you think you can?

At least in my mind, I'm good with it. So I find, as you said, once we're into it, I can take something that's working and then build on that. Do you like that? Do you want more of that? Like, do you want it harder, softer, whatever it is? But at least it's like yes to all because when I'm just starting, for me it's kind of like I don't know where to start. I think that's pretty common, that experience where the confidence boosts as a razor boost. And I think that's I think what you're leading to is a piece of insight there that sometimes it's hard to add something new at the beginning of the sexual response cycle, but if you wait until you're a little bit farther along, that's when you add the new thing. That can be a bit intimidating. Yeah. Okay, so this person has brought up sexual advantage and they also say the other thing is the visual factor. Watching the act slowly, unfold can be truly amazing. Making eye contact with a sultry look is mesmerizing as you perceive a blowjob. The other thing I find adds is to take a break, have them stop and continue with a central hand job as you continue your sexual banter, making the anticipation of continued pleasure that much more greater, all while looking upon the beauty that radiates before you. Just my two cent. I like this guy's. Two cent. Wow, this person is great. I love it, I love it. Yeah, that visual piece is so big and it's interesting when you're trying new techniques. Sometimes I'll recommend that you actually blindfold your partner. Not just so they get that heightened sensory experience where they can tune into the physical sensations, but also because you may feel less selfconscious when you're trying something new if you know your partner isn't looking down and watching. I would agree with that. I think as you just said, the anticipation of something unknown can really rile you up. Right? And the losing that option to actually see can be exciting. But then, as this guy is saying, also the opportunity to look. So I'll often recommend that you start with a blindfold or you don't have to use a blindfold. You just throw anything over your face when you stick a pillow over my head when you push hard. Just don't worry, it'll be fine, it'll be over in a minute and then you remove it when you want to take a look. And eye contact is an interesting one because it can be not only really, really intense, but I think it can be intimidating for a lot of us. Do you feel that way? No, I don't feel that way. I find for me it enhances. I feel more powerful. OK, that's funny because I feel so submissive when you kind of pierce me with your eyes. Okay, enough about us. Okay, move on. Thank you for sending in your commentary. Let's talk about actual techniques because we ended off last week in part one. You can go back and listen to it if you haven't already. Talking about all the different things you can do to rile them up with your hands. And a hand job can feel just like a blow job if you use the right amount of lube and pressure. And I think we ended with the Claudia, which is the hand job to end all blow jobs. Two hands, fingers interlaced, twice as much lube as you think you need. And you are wrapping around the shaft and sliding up and down. If you want to take it to the next level, you can put your thumbs up along the underside, take it to the next level, put your thumbs up in the bottom. In the bottom. Listen, that's the thing too. I 100 percentage thought you were going to go there. We have multiple episodes on prostate play and analplay. Do you know that two of the top five listen to Sex With Dr Jazz podcast? Episodes are on anal. So y'all are into anal? Apparently. Go for it. Yeah, people are curious. So, absolutely, you can play with the prostate if they have one. But I was saying, you have your two hands, fingers, interlaced you wrapped around the penis, your thumbs are up on the underside, so there is a line called the rafi that runs from the butt over the perineum, over the balls and up to the tip of the penis on the underside. So you can put a little extra pressure there and you can kind of swirl your thumbs over the frenulum. We talked about the F spot that connective tissue where the head meets the shaft. So, and maybe you want to switch it up from your hands and start using your mouth, but you can put the two together, right, so you can use your hands as an extension of your mouth to create a long tunnel. And this can be really advantageous because you're able to get a tighter grip with your hands and, of course, you can reduce the effect on your dad reflex. So, a couple of tips for using your hands as an extension of your mouth to make it feel like you're going deeper.

First of all, warm your hands up, because the mouth is warmer than your skin and you want your hands to actually feel like your mouth. And then number two, use lubricant because your saliva is lovely. I love your saliva, but lube will feel more natural and it will last longer. And then, number three, once you've attached your hand to your mouth in a tunnellike format, right, so if you bring your hands together in an oh and then you attach it to your mouth as you approach the penis, breathe, exhale so that it feels your warm breath and starts to anticipate your mouth as opposed to your hands. So then you lower your hands down, your mouth follows and you stroke and you suck in a smooth motion. So it feels like your hands are really a true extension of your mouth. I'm just sitting here doing the Claudia on myself. Not actually doing it, but envision doing it on myself. I wonder if I could do this and masturbate. You've never tried the Claudia on yourself? Two hands? Believe it or not, I have not. That's so weird. It's so funny. It's the one that I've never tried on my own. You've tried all the others is what you're saying. I have. I've tried most of them. Yes. Even the deep throading ones. Okay. Not that flexible. Can you do the twist and shout? I have done the twist and shout. Are you any good at it? I thought I was great. I really enjoyed myself. Well, I'm so surprised you haven't done the claudio, because every time I teach that, the penises always come back and they're like, oh, my God, I've been masturbating my whole life. I never knew I could do it with two hands. This is amazing. I don't know, I've just never invested the effort into the two hands. Well, an assignment for the weekend. Yes. Homework. An assignment. Because I'm not going to be here, so lots of homework. And if I am here, I'm not doing any of the work anyway, so there you go. I have some other toys. I'm leaving you here for the weekend. I'll pull them out in a second. Okay. Yeah. I got a bunch of toys for the penis, and I don't have a penis, but Brandon has a penis, so he's going to have to test him out for me. I will. Tell me. I mean, I do have other work to do this weekend, but I'll make some time. I'll carve some time out. Sorry, I actually can't meet with you, Mr. Client. I have to test this. I've got an appointment from like, ten to ten. Were you using three different tools? And then I get to take a nap for an hour. Okay, other options. So I talked about the using your hand as an extension. If you're not going to use your hand as an extension, maybe you hold your hand at the base, sort of like a penis ring at the base to hold to trap the blood in the penis and give a little extra pressure there. If you're sucking on the penis, you can take your suction to another level with the tongue envelope. And with tongue envelope, all you do is you stick your tongue out along the underside of the penis. Of the penis? Not a penis, the penis. To create a hammocklike section along that sensitive rafi I was talking about. So it's just sucking. You know what? You should try this on your fingers right now. My eyes are now how big is your finger? Wide. I'm wide tom. If I put my finger right now, it just sounds like this. You see my hands? Yeah, they are. You have dick fingers? Dick fingers. Okay, so try this right now. Just suck on your finger, but stick your tongue out while you suck. Brandon's doing it. You have to close your lips. Have you never sucked on anything before? What's wrong with you? Okay, try it. Try it. Wherever you are. I had mentioned the twist and shout with the hands, and I think I talked about it last week. You start with your hand in a boo position, like you're giving them a thumbs down. You grasp the penis at the base. You stroke up to the top, and when you get to the head, you twist gently over the head toward your fingernails, and your hang come smoothly down the other side. So that's a really hard one to explain. Again, I've got a video course you can go check out a happiercouples.com we've got one for the penis, one for the quit, and you can save with code podcast. It's 25% off and it's five different videos on communication and all the different levels of oral sex. I think I can explain the twist and shout with the mouth a little bit more clearly. So twist and shout with your mouth as you suck. You twist gently over the head and you flick your tongue against their frenulum. And again, that's that sensitive. Not just skin at the base of the head. So you're going to suck to the top, twist and flick your tongue over the penn yum. And go back down. But you don't want to be thinking like, oh, you know, suck, squeeze, twist, flick and down, suck, squeeze. No, you don't want to be thinking hard about it. So just suck on the penis and flick your tongue over the pendulum and everything will kind of fall into place. And of course, follow whatever feels natural for you. You don't want to be thinking about these techniques.

You know what you need to do? Sports. You need to visualize what you're going to do before you do it. No, you just need to go practice on your finger or carrot visualization. I'm having fun. You need to go practice on it. Next time I'm getting you a carrot to practice on. All right. Okay. A couple more really good ones for the mouth. So the tight squeeze. This one actually takes a little practice, but it's worth it. You can try it on your finger right now. What you're doing with this one is you are clamping the penis to get more pressure as you suck. So we talked about in last week's episode how in the beginning, you barely want to touch. You want to just flick around. You want to dance around with two tongues, one tongue being your finger with lube. You want to try the loose job. You want to have feather light touch as you build anticipation. But now we're talking about techniques that can actually bring them over the edge. And the tight squeeze allows you to get a really nice grip by using the power of your teeth. But you never let your teeth actually touch the penis, because your upper lip wraps around your upper teeth and your tongue offers padding against your lower teeth. So the easiest way to learn this one on your finger is to simply put your finger on your tongue and make sure your tongue is covering your lower teeth. Now put a few drops of lube, or just lick your lip for now while you're practicing, and roll your upper lip around your upper teeth as you clamp down on your finger. So I just tried it. I can't help myself. So you're kind of biting your finger, but you're making sure it's padded between your upper lip and your tongue. You can slide up and down. Did you do it? I did do it, yeah. My finger is very aroused. But can you tell that it's kind of hard to do without lube? Yes, you need a little bit of lube on your upper lip, not a ton, because you already have your saliva. So that one can be really good if that one feels too complicated. Probably my favorite finishing move for the blowjobs, if you're just using your mouth, is a cheater. So for the cheater, you suck on the penis, but, you know, your jaw gets tired, your mouth gets tired, your face gets tired. So what you're going to do is you're going to continue sucking, but you're going to use your index finger and your thumb and maybe your middle fingers in there, too, to squeeze your lips tighter. So put your index finger just above your upper lip, below your nose, put your thumb under your lower lip, and you're going to have just your mouth in contact with the penis or your finger or whatever you're practicing on, but you're squeezing your lips tighter using your fingers so your jaw can relax a little bit. And this is where you can get a nice tight grip. And when you're finishing the penis off, you're probably going to want to use more pressure. Most people are not using enough pressure in their hand jobs and blowjobs because they're not using enough lube or just simply because they don't have the power in their mouth to do it. Brendon is practicing this, probably. Oh, my finger just finished. Was it hard for you? Because you look really ridiculous. It should be video, too. Well, I'm breaking the third wall. You're not supposed to talk about what you see when there's only audio. But making fun of Brandon made it worth it for me. Another option while you're sucking is to do the supermodel. And this is where you suck as hard as you can, but you suck your cheeks in like a supermodel making their duck face, trying to accentuate their cheekbones, although I guess they don't have to do that anymore because there's a procedure for that. So you're picking up the pace, you're picking up the pressure. You're only going to do one or two of these moves you're not going to do all of them. I'm just trying to give you a bunch of options to finish them off. Another great finishing move is simply to use the Claudia as an extension of your mouth and you pulse at the bottom on that lower third and then you flick and twist at the top. So you're pulsing, sucking, twisting and flicking and you're getting lots of pressure because you've got your hands in the mix. Why you wouldn't use your hands in a blowjob, it baffles me. I know some people only want the mouth on there, but if you can use warm, lubed up hands as an extension of your mouth, it's almost always going to feel more sensual, more powerful and intensify those orgasms while you're sucking. Another option is to do those throat kegels where you suck them all the way into your mouth and you exaggerate a swallowing sensation so they kind of get those muscles in the back of your mouth and your throat clamping around them.

Of course you can play with the perineum, right? So just behind the balls, I think we talked about this last week, the Bspot of the penis, the bulb of the penis which is on the inside and is comprised of that spongy tissue where oftentimes those orgasmic contractions are felt most intensely. So if you just reach behind the balls. Along the perineum. The gooch. The taint. The toad. There's another word for it that starts with a G and I can't remember it now. But if you can just pulse there with a couple of fingers or if you can draw ovals from side to side with a couple of fingers or if you press a vibrator that's what I was going to say there you take it up. Yes, I highly, highly recommend for right there and for all bodies and my favorite toy just for its versatility and the fact that I've had mine forever. Well, this is the newer version. The we vibe touch. X is really, really cool. It looks like a tongue, only thicker and a little bit wider. Fits really nicely in the palm of your hand. It has a curved tip that is rounded and it's nice for like pinpointed plate or spread out sensations because it's nice and flat. So the we vibe touchex is really cool. If you are shopping, please shop at the you can [email protected] and you can use Code Doctor just to save a few dollars as well. And so you can use the vibrator there. You can also curl two fingers there in kind of a come hither motion that can feel really good. Or if they're really close to orgasm you can just press and hold like don't release and keep that pressure coming and that can feel really good against that inner bulb of the penis. We also call it the million dollar mark. And again it is just behind the balls. If they use the pivot take. The pivot. Oh, you like the Pivot and use it right there. Just take it right I mean, obviously the person, your partner may not be wearing the pivot. So the pivot is a penis ring from We Vibe. So are you suggesting don't put it on the penis? I'm just thinking if you have it at the bedside table, you could always use that and turn that on because it has different settings for vibration and different rhythms, which the intensity may really be amplified in a big way. Yes. And since we're talking toys, there are so many on the market now for the penis that you can incorporate into your hand jobs and blow jobs. So I'm a huge fan of this really new arc wave voice. You probably remember the arc wave ion because Brandon and I had talked about it. It basically takes the womanizer pleasure air technology into a stroker, and it hits the frennium of the penis with those tiny changes in air pressure that create this kind of unique suction pressure push pull sensation. But they have a new nonmotorized toy called the arc wave void. And it looks like a camera lens. It looks exactly, to me like a camera lens. Photographer is going to tell me I'm wrong, but okay. For a layperson, it looks like a camera lens. And you slide your penis inside and it has this harder part on the outside that you twist to increase the pressure so you can create this custom fit and custom tightness for whatever degree of stroking you like. It's the reebok pumps for the penis for that. I remember reboot the pumps work. I never had them, but I would always try and pump other peoples and I never felt like it pumped up. I think I had a pair, and I'm pretty sure that it was lucky. I don't know. I think I had a pair. Were they green? Were they green? They were probably something bright blue. When I was a kid, I always had a short list of things that I was saving up for to get, but then I'd never get them. Did you want Varna? A Varnet tshirt. I got a Varnet france. Tshirt. We got to dating ourselves right now. I got a Varnet France T shirt from a Lot, so I like lost. I don't know. Something happened to my shirt and they had to give me something from the lost and found, and they gave me that's. What you got? I got a Barnett France long sleeved pink shirt. Wow. Lucky you. Yes, ma'am. I think I had one varna T shirt. And then this is like, in grade six, I think it worked with, like, bike shorts. I don't think it could have been more of a Dweeb. Hang on. Did you have bike shorts with the fluorescent stripe along the side? How else are you going to go fast if you don't have a floors and speed stripe? Do you also remember hyper color shirts? Yeah, of course. Did you have one of those? No, I never had one. I also was saving up for one of those

Participant #1:
choices. Okay, but actually the hyper color, you had to breathe on it to get it to change color, right? Yeah, I remember those were cool. Same thing with the penis breathe. Super cool. Okay. So I also wanted to add something a little bit more complicated that you can try if you take your time and practice so you can expand your blowjob to include the inner bulb as a full extension of the penis. And what this means is just a reminder, two thirds of the penis are on the outside and a third is on the inside. To access the inside, you're going to reach behind the balls along the perineum. Can I ask you a question about the is there ever circumstances where two thirds of the penis is on the inside of the body and only one third is on the outside? Are you feeling you're missing a third? This guy complains, he's like, oh, you always put me on the spot. I'm all out there. And then you're going to go say that for yourself.

I don't even love it up there for you. I loved it up for you. If anyone can find the other third, just let us know. So when you stroke or suck on the penis from base to tip or tip to base, you're only getting two thirds of the penis. But if you include that million dollar mark in behind, it can feel like the full extension of the penis. So imagine this. You're going to start with your lips wrapped around, I'm going to say the head of the penis. Just, it's going to make it a bit easier. And you're going to lower your lips over the head, over the shaft, as deep as you can go. And if you can't go all the way, that's okay. Again, just use your hands as an extension of your mouth and it will feel like you're getting right to the bottom as long as your hands are warm and lubed up. When you get to the very base, you're going to slide your fingers just about like a centimeter or 2 an inch behind the balls toward the back. Okay. So you're starting with your fingers also on the perineum. So I'll just kind of back up. Fingers are on the perineum just behind the balls, just waiting there, hovering. You start at the very top of the mountain of the head of the penis. You stroke unset all the way down and then you extend backwards with your fingers along the perineum, just a small amount. Then you come back forwards. You come forwards with your fingers because your mouth is still at the bottom of the penis and you suck up to the top. So you're extending the penis with that extra, you know, half inch or so in behind the balls as one fluid motion. You're really getting that two thirds on the inside, let me tell you. Okay, so for some people, it's more than a half inch back there. And so I know that sounds a little bit complicated, but I never want to add to kind of the list of things you ought to do. I don't want you to have these things running through your mind. I'm just sharing these techniques as ideas, kind of as reminders of things you might have done in the past, things you want to try again, but you don't want to be thinking, okay, how did she say it? How did she describe it? No, just use it as a bit of inspiration and then make it your own. And I think that's quite a bit to try. That's a lot. The tight squeeze with your fingers, the twist and shout with your mouth. The cheater, the supermodel, the tunnel with the claudia, the pulse, twist, flick, the throat, giggles'the, perineum, pulsing, ovaling, vibing, curling, holding, and then the extension. And I've got to say, agree with your point wholeheartedly as someone with a penis. Lots of lube and hands once you're into it. If I'm blindfolded or if I'm just enjoying, I can't tell. No, definitely. I definitely can't. But it's like you said, you're not the smartest penis in the penis is not very smart at all. But lots of lube. Yes, lots of lube. And then I did receive some questions about positions. And here's the thing. Choose a position that doesn't require you to do AB work. If you're using your arms. No, because if your partner if the person is lying on their back with their penis on their abdomen, it's super hard to kind of get your mouth over there and use your hands and support your body, and you're not trying to get a workout. So some of the easiest positions, you sit on the edge of the bed with your feet on the floor, and the penis stands in front of you. Another option, the penis sits on the edge of the bed, and you kneel on a pillow at their feet. You might even have the penis just kind of shimmy their way up onto the headboard and bend their knees. You can get in between, but you'll probably find that putting some pillows under their hips helps, because the closer they are to the mattress, the more you kind of have to contort your body to get around. And of course, every body is different. But I will say one of the hardest positions in which to give a blowjob and oftentimes the most common position in which we end up giving a blowjob is with that penis lying on their back. So you want to kind of get that penis facing toward you. And if we're receiving, I think we should probably help out your partner. I mean, you're getting a BJ. Exactly. Do what you can to make it easier. Exactly. In terms of deep throat, I got some other questions about deep throating. You can absolutely train your gag reflex. Some people just have a very sensitive gag reflex. A lot of people don't mind the sounds of gagging. So I notice a lot of folks, especially women, are afraid to gag because they think their partner will be grossed out. But when I hear from penises is that they don't mind the gagging at all. No, I think there are a number of people with penises who like the sound of gagging. So just communicate to your partner. Yeah, absolutely. One option two is for you to lie on the bed with your head hanging off the side like so upside down. You're lying on your back, your head is hanging off the side and then your partner walks up to you just to kind of get another position. And some people find that they're able to go a little deeper when they're upside down just because of the angle of the throat. Yeah, I mean I've seen some videos where that's up. You do have to trust your partner though, depending on what you like, because if the partner is on top, you have to be respectful of what the person who's giving the blowjob can actually handle or take or enjoy for that matter. Right. You don't want to just start shoving it in there. No, I mean that's a recipe for an argument.

Well, and also it could hurt. Yes. Amongst other things. Right. You don't want to feel like some people like the feeling of choking on it and some people don't. And again, these are conversations you have to have. I think that you have that common sense already. The bottom line is when you're finishing off the penis, you're going to want to pick up the pace to two strokes per second or two sucks per second almost. And that is because when you have orgasmic contractions, they are an average of zero 8 seconds apart. But number one and contraction number two are only zero 6 seconds apart. So basically like half a second. Obviously every penis is different. Some people don't mind it a little bit slower, but a lot of people like you to pick up the pace, pick up the pressure. And as I said last week, the point of those anticipatory techniques, riling them up. Like I would say the techniques from last week's episode are actually even more important. You want to rile them up so that by the time you get to these more challenging moves, that penis is like an eight pump chomp. Like you don't want it to be going and going and going. And obviously I also talked about last week, you want to be enthusiastic. The more turned on you are, the more you tune into your own pleasure, the better the blowjob is going to be for the both of you. I like it on the weekend. You're killing it up on stage. Like, you're so funny and you're lobbing these jokes up for me and I'm smacking them down and having a good time. And then you get to this point where you start talking about the strokes per second and you get very scientific. And I almost thought you were joking at first, but then when you explained it, I'm like, oh, yeah, you're right. That is like once you're getting close to orgasm, it's happening quickly. Those waves are coming. So if you can mimic that, it just kind of amplifies it. Yeah, and then when you're coming, some people like you to keep going, and some people like you not to touch it. So you have to communicate about that. And I've done some survey work where we're asking people, what is it you like? And I would say I hear from about half of penises who want you to just back right off. Like they don't want it the sucking or the stroking to continue. And then I hear from others who say, no, no, go to town on it. So you're going to want to probably follow the rhythm of your partner's hips. Follow their lead, ask them what they're into. Don't feel pressured to do everything. We have previous episodes on spitting and swallowing, so you can go check those out for sure. But you don't have to swallow. If you like to swallow, so be it. If your partner doesn't like to swallow, don't pressure them if you don't like to swallow. Rather than talking about what you don't want, maybe talk about where you do want it, right? Like, do you want it on your chest? You want it on your stomach? Do you want it in the other room? Do you want it in a Mountain Dew bottle? I don't know, but whatever floats your boat. There are specific requirements as to where you want Mountain Dew bottle. Don't touch my Pepsi bottle. Only the Mountain Dew. I don't know. Doesn't it have some radioactive stuff in it already? Well, now it's got even more stuff in it. Good stuff. The good stuff. Okay, I'm stopping there. Obviously, there is so much more to talk about and learn when it comes to blowjobs, but there's no conversation that's as meaningful as the conversation that you have with the person with whom you are actually having the sex. So keep the conversation going. Thank you so much for tuning in. Thank you for you, Brandon, sharing your penis story, your lower third story, all that jazz. Had fun as always. Really appreciated this chat. And if you're shopping for sex toys, do head over to Wevive.com. They have a bunch of good sales on right now. Code is drjssweevive.com. That's it, babe. That's it. We're done. We'll be back next week. Week, folks. Have a great one. You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Improve your sex life. Improve your life.